Back when my biological kids were toddlers, someone very wise told me that when the kids are dysregulated (often in the window after nap but before dinner) you should take them outside or put them in water. To be clear, she didn’t use the word “dysregulated” because that wasn’t in our verbiage at the time. But when I heard this advice, I kind of thought that was weird so I did not intentionally try it, until one day when we went outside in the afternoon (because I couldn’t stand having them in the house any more!), I noticed the power of the outdoors.
It helped. Like, it REALLY helped! So I began trying it in all sorts of environments: cold weather, warm weather, hot weather, rain or sunshine. It all helped! And it’s not even that it has to be for hours and hours. Sometimes 15 minutes is enough to turn things around.
I also noticed that not only did it work on my children, it also worked for me. Taking the dog for a walk, or going for a hike or bike ride, tending my garden, or even just sitting outside…there’s something rejuvenating about it. I’m not going to get into a whole spiritual side of it, but honestly, I don’t think we were meant to spend nearly as much time indoors as we often do.
In fact, research studies have shown that there is a connection with being outside and decreased anxiety and stress levels, a lower risk of depression, as well as increased focus and concentration.
But you obviously aren’t reading this to learn about me and my biological kids; you’d probably like to know if this works on kids from trauma. And I am also here to report my findings from a sample size of one: it has also helped with my kiddo from hard places, with a caveat – for him, at least, the outdoors does have its limits.
A big part of this has to do with the fact that this child has the THICKEST hair I have ever seen in my life, and it really holds in the heat. So even though it’s cute when it’s long (he’s got amazing curls as well), along about April, we do a “summer cut,” which is one step away from my military buzz, and that does help keep him cool. If I don’t, he will get overheated much faster and it’s game off and his dysregulation might be (read: will be) even worse. So, our window for outside activities is often somewhat limited (unless it involves water, which I will discuss next time.)
Obviously I don’t know that this will be the case for your kiddo, but I am simply using it as a cautionary tale; in my experience, kids with trauma have a smaller bandwidth in general and being outside is no exception so you’ll need to keep an eye on such things to learn your own kiddo’s ability to tolerate temperatures.
As an aside, my son LOVES the cold and snow and often appears to be under-dressed for it, but again, because he often “runs hot” he never feels cold even when it’s cold.
So you might be wondering what exactly should they be doing outside. Honestly, whatever they want (within reason, of course). But here are a few non-competitive suggestions for you to consider:
- Ride a bike or a scooter
- Blow bubbles
- Draw with chalk (or making liquid chalk and paint on the sidewalk…a quick google search will tell you how to do this!)
- Jump in puddles (either during or after the rain)
- Build a fort
- Enjoy local playgrounds
- Go on nature walks or nature scavenger hunts (you can find pre-made lists on Pinterest)
- Eat a meal or snack outside
- Snowball fight (especially fun in the summer if you can pre-plan in the winter and save some snow in your freezer. I realize this is a huge ask and I’ve never been able to remember it myself, although I am CERTAIN my son would love it!)
- Build a snow fort
- Snow angels
This is clearly not an exhaustive list, but I wanted to give you a few quick and easy (and potentially free or cheap!) was to get a dysregulated kiddo outside and hopefully back into regulation.
Sincerely,
Kris