News & Library
Keep up with the latest news about Firefly Children and Family Alliance, from recent announcements to new programs and services
TIPS FOR COUPLES WORKING TOGETHER IN THE HOME
Couples all over the world are finding themselves in situations they never thought they would be in, for better or for worse. Self-quarantine with your partner, for weeks or even months, is a new element that is being added to the “make or break” relationships of today. So how do couples keep their relationship alive?
IS IT PUNISHMENT, OR DISCIPLINE?
When I hear the word punishment I think about when I was a little girl and having to clean my room on a sunny day; I felt like my parents hated me because they didn’t let me play with my friends. I also remember the arguments I had with my parents about curfews in high school. It felt so unfair when my friends didn’t have to be home as early as I did. When I reflect on my childhood, I don’t think about the spankings that I received as they were far and few between, or getting my mouth washed out with soap for calling my Dad a bad name. Maybe it was because I felt I deserved the punishments more when I understood what I was doing was wrong, rather than just a quick spanking without any explanation.
3 THINGS TO DO WHEN SUPPORTING SOMEONE IN RECOVERY
As much as we sometimes might want to, we can’t help who we love. So what do you do when someone you care or love struggles with addiction? How can you help them be successful in their recovery and how do you take care of yourself at the same time?
It is important to understand that addiction is a brain disease that does not discriminate. It can impact anyone, and learning how to support someone in their recovery is probably not a journey that anyone ever expects to take.
Kris’s Corner – Meet Kris
April 23, 2020 Becoming a foster parent is not a decision to be entered into lightly. Foster parenting is not always an easy path, but that said, it is not without much joy…joy at seeing children heal (both physically and emotionally); joy at seeing biological parents...
TECHNIQUES TO COMBAT ANXIETY
We are currently experiencing a troubling and uncertain time. In order to come out of this stronger, we need to figure out ways to cope with our anxiety and stress efficiently. During this time, combating our anxiety is equally as important as social distancing. If we do not have control of our minds, it affects our bodies and could eventually make us physically sick. Anxiety directly correlates with stress, and according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), “chronic stress can affect your health, causing symptoms from headaches, high blood pressure, and chest pain to heart palpitations, skin rashes, and loss of sleep.” Experiencing these stressful conditions could make you more susceptible to illness and we’re here to help prevent you from becoming another coronavirus statistic. Below, you will find some of my personal favorite anxiety reducers for staying in control of the body and mind.
COMBATING VICARIOUS TRAUMA
It is suggested that those who work with individuals who have experienced trauma often experience vicarious trauma themselves. Vicarious trauma (VT) is the emotional residue from working with individuals who share their trauma stories. The helpers, or those who are listening, become witnesses to the pain, fear, and terror that trauma survivors have endured. Trauma is the response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope, causes feelings of helplessness, diminishes their sense of self and their ability to feel the full and expected range of emotions and experiences.
How do you know if you are experiencing vicarious trauma? Have the stories you’ve heard created longer than expected effects on your day-to-day emotions and routines?
WHEN A CHILD TELLS YOU THEY HAVE BEEN ABUSED…
Child abuse can occur in many forms. It can be physical, sexual, emotional abuse and neglect. It also includes living in a household where there is domestic abuse since the effects of seeing abuse perpetrated against the child’s primary caregiver are extremely damaging. Most child abuse is perpetrated by family members and family friends, not strangers.
Whether we realize it or not, most of us have known someone in our lifetime who has been affected by child abuse. Child abuse occurs in families and to children among every type of race, religion, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, and education level. By its very nature, child abuse is kept quiet and hidden. Signs can often be missed, ignored or minimized. Perpetrators are very good at convincing people that they are kind, caring individuals. However, there are red flags we can all be aware of and take notice of in our interactions with children and families.
HOW I’M HANDLING SOCIAL DISTANCING, WORKING FROM HOME, AND BEING A MOM.
When strangers hear that I’m a therapist I often get smart remarks like “So you’re an expert in people’s problems”, or “ You work with crazy people.” My answer is always “No, I’m not an expert on anyone. You are the only expert on yourself. I just help guide people to finding their expertise.” Or to the second one, “We all have a little crazy in us but sometimes stress brings it out more in certain times of our lives.” This pandemic is one of those times where anyone may feel “crazy”. What it’s really telling us is that there is something missing that we need to find to help us feel back in control of our lives and therefore, of ourselves.
5 THINGS TO SAY TO SOMEONE WHO’S FREAKING OUT ABOUT COVID-19.
While Covid-19 is running its course through the world, many of us are trying to remain calm through the press releases, presidential addresses, and social media posts. We are refusing to panic and bulk buy toilet paper at the grocery stores. We are social distancing and washing our hands—but others in our lives might not be fairing as well just yet. When supporting a loved one struggling with anxiety or panic, it can feel difficult to know how to help.
When people panic, their brains go into a state of “fight, flight, or freeze” where survival is the only goal. This makes it tough to reason with them, calm them down, or distract them from their panic. Having a productive conversation with someone in this state isn’t typically realistic, so try and make your priority support rather than reason. Simply be there for them until their heart rate lowers and the panic has dissipated.
50 FAMILY ACTIVITIES THAT DON’T INVOLVE SCREENS
The stress caused by the recent virus outbreak can be overwhelming, trying to plan a day (or even weeks) with children at home may also add to that stress. The good news is you’re not alone, and negative feelings during this time are typical responses. It’s important that we take time to bond as a family to reduce stress and increase the amount of support each member feels during these tough times. Having a list of activities will empower you to try something new that doesn’t involve screens.