Last time I touched on the theory that when children are struggling, you take them outside or put them in water. I talked in depth about the power of outdoors last time so this time I want to talk about putting kids in water or using water to help them re-regulate. This one, honestly, has been more of a game changer for my kiddo with trauma. As I mentioned previously, when my kiddo gets too hot, the dysregulation increases, so you can see why this might be a problem with playing outside.
Also, I realize that water might be a trigger for your child, especially if there was abuse that took place involving water/bath, so obviously you’ll have to assess what things will work in your home. But for my kiddo, anything water has been fantastic.
So, why does water work to help combat dysregulation? Well, I believe it is similar to being outside. Water is a natural material and being in contact with it (or immersed in it), you would expect to have the same kind of results as being outside. I personally believe that it’s part of the reason giant garden bathtubs and whirlpools are as popular as they are; when I hear others talk about enjoying a soak, they are always wanting it to help them relax. Makes sense, right?
So, what are some of the ways my kiddo enjoys water? First up, this kid loves to swim. Before we moved a couple years ago, we had a neighborhood pool and we were there almost every day during the week. We didn’t go on the weekends because it was too crowded, but we would go first thing in the morning Monday through Friday and nine times out of 10 we had the pool completely to ourselves. It was generally pretty cold in May and even in June, but by August, it felt like bathwater, regardless of the time of day. So, an hour or more a day in the pool would be super helpful, even when he was not dysregulated; so much so that I often used it as a preventative measure.
The other thing I found to be very helpful for him are his baths. Sometimes we’ll even set up a phone across the way so he can’t reach it, and let him watch a movie while he’s in the tub. We usually use Epsom salt and maybe a bath bomb or bubble bath or essential oils or all of the above. Letting him have choices about what he wants to include usually helps entice. And we usually have a much calmer child by the time he gets out. We’ve taken baths in the middle of the day and found that it can have lasting effects for the rest of the day. There’s truly something about the immersion in water.
Now that he’s older, the baths aren’t as “cool” so we mostly opt for a shower. And while it’s not quite the same, it definitely still has it’s benefits. Again, I equate it to the desire as an adult, to take a shower in the evening and let the day “wash off” you.
Those are some obvious ideas and I know that a pool might not be accessible to you all the time (I will say it’s the one thing I miss from our former neighborhood!). So, what are other options?
- Sometimes, just a shallow tote or baby pool full of water and bath toys can do the trick; a water table also provides a similar experience. Cold water on a hot day is always refreshing – maybe even throw in some ice cubes to keep things extra cool. Or try swapping out the toys for large sponges in the tote or water table. The act of filling and squeezing them out can provide lots of fun. They’re also fun to throw. You could also help a child play “sink or float” with a bunch of different waterproof items from around the house.
- Squirt guns… although I find that that be dicey, depending on a child’s level of dysregulation. It may be just my kid, but if he’s already struggling that can set him over the edge. Or if his amygdala is in control, then he might make bad choices with it, regarding whoever he’s playing with.
- This requires prep, but freezing a large bowl filled with water and small toys (NOT favorites…we don’t need a child to freak out!). Then giving your child toy “tools” to chip away at the ice and rescue the toys (this is clearly an outside activity). This would allow a child to have some water play without being IN water.
- A good old fashioned sprinkler. Need I say more?
- The trampoline sprinkler – now this one is kind of next level, and obviously requires a trampoline. But you get sensory input, you get exercise, you get fresh air, and some water exposure. Now you might be saying, “I would never get a trampoline!”, but hear me out. We were definitely one of those families who swore we would never get a trampoline, and then low and behold in March 2020, we got our “Covid trampoline “… since we couldn’t go anywhere, we needed our son to have something to do. I’m blessed that it’s still hanging in there! The “trampoline sprinkler” is not, but the trampoline is which is truly the best part and you can set up any sprinkler beside it for water fun.
- Slip and slides…they are as dangerous as they are fun plus they leave a fashionable stripe in your yard for months to come. But if you’re willing, they can be quite helpful.
- Splash pads – these (at least in my experience) are often free, plus it might get a child close to being immersed in water, but not quite as much as a pool or a bath. Something like this option might be better for a kiddo who’s fearful of that immersion.
- And lastly, water parks. While not free, and generally not cheap, sometimes if there’s one local you can get a season pass and that makes your cost per trip much less. There’s a waterpark not far from us that has a special rate the last couple hours every Sunday afternoon so that that’s often when we go, even now. To be clear, when I say “we”, I mean my husband takes our son and not only do I get a minute to breathe before launching into the next week but it’s a fun bonding time for the two of them. The waterpark has lots of sensory input, time outdoors, and immersion in the water (if they want). Often times there’s a zero entry into the pool, and there’s an area that’s more like a splash pad. Virtually something for everyone.
There are lots of other ways you could help your child enjoy the power of water, but hopefully there are some suggestions here you can pull out when you need it most.
Sincerely,
Kris