Nakunze kuvuga ikintu cyitwa "umunaniro wimpuhwe"; ushobora kuba warabyumvise ku rindi zina, “guhagarika kwita.” Noneho, sinzi neza uburyo nabuze aya makuru imyaka myinshi, ariko nzemera ko mfite… niyo mpamvu nanditse hano kugirango nizere ko bitanyuze muri mwebwe!
Umunaniro wimpuhwe niki kandi ni ukubera iki ndimo gukora ibintu byinshi kukubwira? Muri make, ni mugihe guhangayika igihe kirekire bigabanya ubushobozi bwababyeyi bwo gutanga cyangwa kugumana ibyiyumvo byurukundo cyangwa impuhwe kubana babo. Ubu ni bwo buryo bw'ababyeyi bwo kwirinda ihahamuka ry'umwana (ibyo bikunze kugaragara mu myitwarire iteye ubwoba, idahwitse, kandi itoroshye).
Muri make, bivuze ko rimwe na rimwe umubyeyi urera atumva amarangamutima afitanye isano numwana cyangwa abana bashinzwe.
Noneho, nyamuneka sobanukirwa: ntibibaho na buri mwanya, kandi ntibibaho na buri mwana. Ariko birashobora kubaho kubwimpamvu nyinshi: rimwe na rimwe usanga ari ibintu byihariye cyangwa byihariye byabana, kandi ikindi gihe bifitanye isano nubuzima bwihariye bwumwana cyangwa nuburere bwababyeyi barera.
Iyo mvuze ibyabaye-byihariye, urugero rushobora kuba nyuma yo gushyingura cyangwa ikindi gihombo. Kurugero, birashoboka ko wareraga abana mubibazo bitandukanye, kandi umwe yahurijwe hamwe na barumuna be murundi rugo rwabarera, undi agumana nawe. Urashobora kumva gutandukana numwana ukiri murugo rwawe kubera igihombo urimo unyuramo no guhuza undi mwana.
Rimwe na rimwe, ababyeyi barera ntibahuza neza n'umwana umwe nk'undi; kimwe nabantu kugiti cyabo mubindi bice byubuzima bwacu. Abana baza kurera ni kimwe. Uru rwaba urugero rwurugero rwihariye rwumwana. Igihe kirenze, iyi mibanire itesha umutwe murugo itwara ababyeyi kandi kwirwanaho kwabo gutangira kwigarurira, birashoboka ko biganisha kumutima wo kurakara no kurakara. Birumvikana, biragoye cyane kubabyeyi gukunda no kwitaho mugihe kiri mumarangamutima.
Irashobora kuba ifitanye isano nubuzima bwihariye bwumwana (uruhinja, umwana muto, ingimbi, nibindi); kandi birashobora kuba imihangayiko y'umwana "kutaba imyaka ye." Ukuri "kworoshye" kurashobora kugorana kwibuka no kubyemera mugihe uri mubabyeyi. Kwibutsa gusa - abana baza kurera bagize igihombo kinini, kandi kubwibyo, ubwonko bwabo bushobora gusubizwa kubyitwaramo muburyo ushobora gutekereza ko "budasanzwe." Gukura kwabo ntiguhuza n'imyaka yabo ikurikirana… kandi mvugishije ukuri, rimwe na rimwe birashobora kugorana kubyitwaramo.
Noneho hariho umunaniro udashira wimpuhwe ubaho mugihe ababyeyi bagize ihungabana mubwana bwabo (tekereza kuri post kubyerekeye Quiz ya ACES mubyumweru bike bishize). Irashobora (ntabwo buri gihe ndetse ntanubwo ari umwanya munini… ariko URASHOBORA) kubagora kubana bababyeyi baturutse ahantu habi, kuko bishobora gukurura ababyeyi ubwabo.
Ibindi byongera umunaniro wimpuhwe (ibyo ntigeze nsoma ahantu hose… iyi ni yo myumvire yanjye) ni ukubera ko kurera bigoye. Nibura muburambe bwanjye. Usibye gukinisha abana banjye babyaranye, umugabo wanjye, n'urugo, mpora ntekereza kumwana urera nicyo bakeneye. Namukorera iki? Nigute namufasha? Iyi myitwarire yihariye isobanura iki? Ni ubuhe buryo nkeneye kubashakira? Mvugishije ukuri… birarambiranye, kubwibyo, urashobora kubarwa hanyuma ukagwa mumuriro.
Ibimaze kuvugwa… kuki umunaniro wimpuhwe ari ikintu kibi? Ndashaka kuvuga… birumvikana ko byashoboka, sibyo? Ntushobora gukora gusa? Kubwamahirwe, ntabwo aruko ufite umunaniro wimpuhwe… nuburyo umunaniro ugira ingaruka kubabyeyi bawe. Umubyeyi wawe akunda guhinduka cyane (gusubiza ibibazo aho kuba amarangamutima yumwana), kandi ibitekerezo byawe bigenda bikurura ibintu bibi cyane byumwana.
None, ni ibihe bimenyetso bimwe ushobora kuba uhanganye numunaniro wimpuhwe?
- Kumva wirwanaho kandi urinzwe cyane kugirango wirinde kwangwa
- Kumva watwitse, bikabije, cyangwa umunaniro
- Kumenya ko wujuje ibyifuzo byumwana wawe, ariko ko bigoye kumva umunezero nyawo mubabyeyi
- Kumva wafashwe cyane nimyitwarire yumwana wawe aho kuba ishingiroimpamvuku myitwarire
- Kugira impengamiro yo kwitwara aho guharanira kwegera umwana wawe
- Kubona bigoye gutekereza kuburyo butandukanye bwo kubana numwana wawe - kumva "watsinzwe" nuburyo bumwe bwo gukora ibintu, cyangwa igisubizo kimwe cyatoranijwe, kandi bikagorana gukomeza kugira ibitekerezo bifunguye.
- Kumva wumva cyane kwangwa numwana wawe
- Kuba umujinya hamwe nabandi bakomeye cyangwa abandi bagize umuryango
- Guhinduka wenyine n'inshuti n'umuryango wawe
- Kumva usebanya kubibazo byawe na / cyangwa ubufasha butangwa numuyoboro wawe
- Kubona bigoye kwishora mubyifuzo byimpuhwe cyangwa kurera umwana wawe, hanyuma ukumva wicira urubanza
- Kumva “ufunze”
Noneho nyuma yo kumenya umunaniro wimpuhwe, niki ushobora kubikoraho niba ubifite… cyangwa niki wakora kugirango ugerageze kubyirinda? Mbere ya byose, wige aho intege nke zawe ziri mumikino yababyeyi (nko mumanota yawe ya ACES, urugero) hanyuma wumve amateka yawe, indangagaciro, n'imyizerere yawe. Ibi birashobora kugabanya amahirwe yo kwirwanaho no kwitwara hamwe numwana wawe. Niba ufite ibyiyumvo byubwoba, umujinya, gucika intege, nisoni, gerageza gufata igihe kugirango utunganyirize aho ibyo byiyumvo bishobora guturuka. Niba ukomeje guhatanira kumenya aho biva, korana numuvuzi umenyereye kumugereka no guhahamuka ushobora kuguha umwanya wo gukora ibi.
Menya ubutumwa amygdala yawe igutumaho! Sisitemu yo mu bwonko bwawe ihujwe no gutera ubwoba, birumvikana ko ishobora kuba ingirakamaro, ariko irashobora no gutuma dusoma nabi imigambi y'umwana wacu; kutwohereza kurugamba, kuguruka cyangwa guhagarika uburyo… ibyo, birashoboka ko ntagomba kukubwira, ntibikora kubabyeyi bakomeye.
Gerageza gukanda kumajyambere umwana wawe amaze gutera ntabwo ari kumunota wigihe runaka. Subiza inyuma urebe "ishusho nini" kugirango ugerageze guhuza impuhwe wifuza kugirira umwana.
Ubwanyuma, ibi bigiye kumvikana rwose, ariko igisubizo nicyo gisubizo… kwiyitaho. Ndabizi, ndabizi… ni “ikintu” ubungubu, sibyo? Ariko rwose nikintu gifasha kwita kumunaniro wimpuhwe. Kwiyitaho rero birashobora gusobanura ibintu byinshi bitandukanye, kandi nkumubyeyi urera, ugomba kureba icyo ukeneye kugirango witeho neza, kandi / cyangwa kwiha ikiruhuko. Bishobora gusobanura imyitozo ya buri munsi… Ndabona ko niba nshobora kubona iminota 30 kugeza kuri 60 y'imyitozo ngororamubiri buri munsi, numva ari umuntu utandukanye. Ntabwo nshaka kuvuga ko igomba kuba karidio-iremereye, ariko rimwe na rimwe umwuka mwiza gusa no kuzenguruka kuri blok ikora ibitangaza. Bishobora gusobanura kubona massage; birashobora gusobanura kubona umuvuzi; birashobora gusobanura itariki yikawa hamwe ninshuti rimwe mubyumweru; birashobora gusobanura guhuza nabandi babyeyi barera… cyangwa ibyo aribyo byose kuri wewe (kandi mubyukuri birashobora kuba ibintu byinshi). Nibyo ugomba gukora kugirango ufashe kurwanya umunaniro wimpuhwe.
Kurera biragoye bihagije nkuko biri, utiriwe uremerwa numunaniro wongeyeho. Irakuremereye mumarangamutima no mumubiri, nkuko buri mubyeyi urera abizi… ntabwo dufite umwanya kubyo. Burigihe.
Mubyukuri,
Kris