Nkuko nabivuze mugice cya 1 cyuru "bice bibiri byuruhererekane", twarangije guhagarika imyanya ibiri. Kandi kubera ko ibi bitagaragara ko atari byo bigomba kubaho, ndashaka kuganira kuburyo bumwe nizera ko byibuze kimwe muri ibyo byahungabana cyashoboraga kwirindwa.
Reka ntangire mvuga ibi: Sisitemu uko imeze, biragoye cyane kumenya igihe ufashe ikibanza niba ugiye kugikemura. Kandi kugirango umenye neza ibibazo umwana ashyirwa hamwe nawe afite rwose… kuko mugihe umwana ari mushya mubyitaho, DCS hamwe nikigo cyawe (Biro ishinzwe abana) ntabwo baba bafite amakuru yose. Nta kuntu bari gushobora. Baguha ibisobanuro byose bafite, ariko mvugishije ukuri rimwe na rimwe ni ugutera icyuma mu mwijima kubabyeyi barera niba gushyira aho bigiye kwinjirira neza murugo.
Nzi ko ibyo bidashobora kuba inkunga ushobora kuba ushaka. Ariko ndabikubwiye kugirango umenye ko nta gushyira 100% byemewe kugenda neza. Buri mwanya uzagira ibibazo, yaba umwana, uwashinzwe umutekano, umugenzuzi wabasuye, ababyeyi babyaranye, ndetse nababyeyi barera ubwabo binjira mubintu.
Kubwa mbere, niteguye kwemeza ko igice cyikibazo ari ukutabasha kumva ko dukeneye guhindura bimwe mubyo urugo rwacu rwakoraga. Ntabwo numvaga neza ukuntu byari kugora abana kwishira muburyo bwacu. Ntabwo nizera ko ibi bidasanzwe, cyane cyane nabashyizwe kumwanya wa mbere, ariko naretse gucika intege kwanjye bigeze aho bihungabana.
Urebye, nashoboraga guha abakobwa inshuro imwe-imwe, mugutegura ibikorwa abahungu banjye bakora hanze yurugo igihe gito. Turi umuryango wishuri murugo, kubwibyo ntabwo byanze bikunze byari kuba byiza, ariko twashoboraga kubikora muburyo bwo kubungabunga aho dushyira. Byongeye kandi, nashoboraga kohereza abakobwa mumashuri ya leta aho kugerageza kubigisha murugo. Sinigeze numva uburyo ibyo byabababaza cyane mugihe kimaze kuzura imihangayiko no guhangayika. Kubagumana mwishuri ryabo byaba bivuze ko tugomba kubatwara iminota 45 inzira imwe ku ishuri buri munsi, ariko byari kubahumuriza bitewe nuko byari bisanzwe, kandi bashobora kuba hamwe na umwarimu n'inshuti.
Ubundi buhanga bwo kugerageza kugumana ibibanza birimo, ariko ntibigarukira gusa, ibintu nkibi:
- Kwishingikiriza ku nkunga karemano… ibi byagera ku nshuti n'umuryango bashyigikiye icyemezo cyawe cyo kubarera no kubishingikiriza kubufasha kumubiri no mumarangamutima.
- Kwishora mubiro bishinzwe ibibazo byabana bawe… ntibakwemera niba uvuze ibintu neza, nibyiza rero kuba inyangamugayo. Bafite umugongo mugari kandi barashobora kuyobora umuyaga wawe. Byongeye, ntibashobora kugufasha niba batazi ibibera.
- Kubona ibyifuzo kubagize itsinda… ibi birashobora kuba FCM, abavuzi, cyangwa nababyeyi babyaranye ubwabo. Bashobora kugira inama cyangwa ibitekerezo kuri wewe kuburyo wafasha umwana gutahura neza. Kurugero: umwana afite igikinisho cyangwa ikiringiti akunda atabonye kuzana murugo rwe? Ashobora kubona icyo kintu cyihariye, cyangwa ababyeyi barera bashobora kumufasha guhitamo umusimbura ubereye?
- Kuruhuka… hari amazu arera ashobora gufata by'agateganyo umwana wawe urera kugirango aguhe ikiruhuko. Ibi birashobora kuba kumunsi cyangwa nijoro… cyangwa kugeza kuminsi myinshi. Mugukoresha iki gihe gitandukanye, birashobora kugufasha kubona neza icyakorwa neza numwana wawe urera.
- Gufata umwanya wawe… cyangwa no "kwishyiriraho igihe" muminota mike kugirango ubashe guterana no guhindura. Biratangaje icyo gutandukana gato mubihe bitesha umutwe bishobora kugukorera.
- Kugabanya imihangayiko kugiti cyawe… ibi birashobora kuba bigiye muri siporo cyangwa gusohokana ninshuti. Ibyo ukeneye byose kugirango ufashe de-stress.
- “Kuyirukana”… menya gusa ko guhinduka bifata igihe haba kumwana ndetse no murugo, kandi ugahitamo kubigenderamo kugeza umukungugu utangiye gato bishobora kuba ubundi buryo bwo gukoresha.
Noneho kubishyira nyuma yumuhungu wumuhungu we, kuko ibibazo twahuye nabyo ntaho bihuriye nurubanza, ahubwo numwana wacu. Tumaze kwongeramo burundu umwana ufite amateka yihungabana mumuryango wacu, urufatiro rwumuryango wacu "wareze" rwarahindutse kandi dukeneye gusuzuma uburyo we nibyifuzo bye mubintu. Kenshi na kenshi, imihangayiko ituruka kumwana urera kandi imyitwarire itesha umutwe yihariye kubibazo byabo no gusobanukirwa aho iyo myitwarire iva; iyo myitwarire yashinze imizi muburambe bwumwana.
Ibyo bivuzwe, twagombaga gukoresha uburyo butandukanye muriki gihe, bimwe muribi bisa nkibintu bigaragara kandi byoroshye. Kurugero, twagerageje kurushaho gushaka nkana umuhungu wacu kubijyanye no kwitabwaho, cyane cyane igihe umwana yagiye gusurwa nababyeyi babyaranye. Twagerageje kubungabunga byinshi mubisanzwe mubikorwa byumuhungu wacu bishoboka kandi tumenye ko afite ibyo akeneye kugirango yumve afite umutekano numutekano. Twakoze ibintu yishimira… kugendera mumodoka, gukina hanze, gukina n ibikinisho akunda, ikintu cyose cyamufasha kumugenga. Ariko amaherezo ntacyo byatanze… kandi niba ntakindi, byadufashije kudusobanurira ko umuhungu wacu gusa atari afite amarangamutima yo kubikemura.
Ntabwo umuntu uwo ari we wese yagiye ahantu hagamijwe guhungabana, ariko ndashaka kwemeza ko uzi neza ko ari amahitamo; kumenyesha ko niba uri kurangiza umugozi wawe kandi nkeka ko ntakuntu ushobora kumanika ukundi, ufite amahitamo yo guhungabana niba ari ngombwa rwose. Ibyo byavuzwe, ntibigomba na rimwe gukorerwa byoroheje cyangwa byoroshye, kandi utitaye ku mwana uhungabana. Kandi mugihe imyanya idahwitse ishobora kuzana ihumure kumuryango urera, bihinduka igihombo gihoraho no kunanirwa kumwana. Ingamba zose zigomba kugeragezwa kugirango ibintu bishoboke kandi ibyifuzo byikigo mbere yo gufata icyemezo cyo gusaba ko umwana yakurwa.
Mubyukuri,
Kris