Noneho… Niba warigeze umwanya uwariwo wose hamwe na kiddo uvuye ahantu hakomeye, ukaba warabonye umwana mubirori runaka, cyangwa ibirori cyangwa ahantu (tekereza: parike yimyidagaduro, cyangwa parike ya trampoline cyangwa karnivali… Ikintu gifite umunezero mwinshi kandi ushishikaje. )… Kandi ibintu bigenda neza. Umwana arishimisha, urishimisha, ibintu ni copasetic. Ibintu byose ni byiza.
Hanyuma, mu buryo butunguranye, ibintu birahinduka. Umwana yahinduye igiceri, kandi ibintu byagiye biva mubyukuri bikabije.
Kandi ndashaka kuvuga iki (nzasobanurira abatariboneye; niba warabaye umuhamya, birashoboka ko bidakenewe ibisobanuro). Ibi birashobora gusobanura gutaka, gutaka, gusuzugura, gupfuka amatwi, guhunga, kwihisha, kwerekana hejuru yubusambanyi, cyangwa kwerekana hyperactivite itagaragara rwose kuri gari ya moshi… hariho ibintu byinshi bishoboka.
None… wabyiboneye? Wigeze ubibona? Wabayeho ibi… inshuro nyinshi? Nibyiza… niba ubana nihahamuka, ushobora kuba warigeze kubibona mugihe runaka. Niba kandi witegura kurera, cyangwa no kubitekerezaho, menya gusa ibi birashoboka ko bizaba mubice byamasezerano kuko akenshi biherekeza ahantu hakomeye.
Noneho ikibazo ushobora kuba wibajije niki: kubera iki? Kuki ibi bibaho? Kandi ni ukubera iki ababyeyi cyangwa ababyeyi barera cyangwa ababyeyi barera cyangwa undi muntu wese ubikora?
Nibyiza, igisubizo niki: ntituzigera tumenya niba cyangwa igihe bizabera. Njye, kubwanjye, njya muri byinshi muburyo bwibihe nkeka ko bizabaho, kandi ndatangaye cyane niba bitabaye.
Kandi iyo mvuze, bishimishije gutungurwa, ndavuga, ndumiwe. Kuberako burigihe burigihe… .ibyinshi cyane (kubwumwana wanjye byumwihariko) kuburyo igihe kinini, natekereje kutazamujyana ahantu hose bishimishije.
Ariko nahise mbona ko imitekerereze itamubereye… cyangwa njye. Kimwe mubintu nkunda kuba mama nukwisubiraho no gusangira ibintu bishimishije nakoze nkiri umwana. Byongeye kandi, mu kutajya gukora ibintu bishimishije, ntabwo narimo ndamwemerera amahirwe yo kwiga gucunga amarangamutima ye, ibyamubayeho, ubwoba, nibindi. Byongeye kandi: Mbega isi ibabaje kandi itishimye niba tutarigeze tujya ahantu hose kandi kora ikintu gishimishije, sibyo?
Mvugishije ukuri, nagombaga no kumenya ko igice kinini cyikibazo, hamwe nubuzima bwacu, cyari ishema ryanjye… kandi nzaba inyangamugayo: byari bigoye kubireka. Kandi rimwe na rimwe ndacyarwana.
Ariko mu rwego rwo gukorera mu mucyo, nari mpangayikishijwe cyane nuko abantu bancira urubanza nkurikije ibyo umwana wanjye yakoraga (cyangwa atakoraga). Sinifuzaga ko abantu batekereza ko ndi umubyeyi mubi, nkurikije imyitwarire y'umwana wanjye.
Ariko ubu, nubwo mbona ko bishoboka ko bashobora kuba barancira urubanza, icyo nikibazo nabo, ntabwo arinjye. Akazi kanjye ni umubyeyi umwana wanjye, nkamuha ibyo akeneye, kandi nkamukorera uko mbona bikwiye… kandi icyarimwe nkumva ko imyitwarire ye idasanzwe kuko uburambe bwe ntabwo busanzwe.
Ntabwo byanze bikunze ashaka gukora gutya… ninde wifuza gukora atyo?!? Nkeneye rero gukuraho urubanza rwabandi, kandi nkaba mpari kumwana wanjye mugihe we (nanjye) twiga kugendana nubwoko nkibi.
Ubu rero turagaruka kubibazo: kuki ibi bibaho? Nigute ibihe byiza bigenda nabi? Nibyiza, haribishoboka byinshi, ariko bitatu bya mbere navuga, nibi: uburemere burenze urugero, imbarutso (byombi bizwi kandi bitazwi), cyangwa kwiyitirira ubwicanyi.
Kandi kubice byinshi, aba bagiye kwisobanura, ariko nzakomeza ntange ibisobanuro bike, cyane cyane kubashobora kuba bashya kuri iki gitekerezo.
Kurenza Ibyiyumvo: Amatara yaka, amajwi, umunezero… ibyo nibyinshi muburyo bwimikorere yumuntu gufata, cyane cyane niba sisitemu yarangijwe nihungabana. Twese tuzi ko ihahamuka rigira ingaruka ku bana mu buryo butandukanye, ariko cyane cyane mubintu byose bishobora gutera uburemere burenze ubwenge. Irashobora gutuma sisitemu yumwana "igufi" kandi umwana arashonga, akazamuka, agatandukana, akita icyo ushaka. Amaherezo itera ubushobozi bwabo bwo gukomeza gutegekwa guhungabana.
Imbarutso: Rimwe na rimwe aba ari "benign" nkumunsi wamavuko cyangwa iminsi mikuru cyangwa guhurira hamwe ninshuti cyangwa umuryango. Cyangwa barashobora rimwe na rimwe gusaba akazi gato ko gushakisha, cyane cyane iyo umwana afite kwibuka. Umwana arashobora guhita yumva ikintu runaka cyangwa impumuro yikintu cyibutsa hari ubwonko bwambere bwibintu byabaye, cyangwa umuntu, ko batanibuka ubwabo. Ariko irabatera imbaraga zo kumanuka hagati yibyo bihe. Irashobora kandi kuba "yibuka" yibuka nibintu bibuka mubyukuri… ahari uburyo pizza ihumura cyangwa indirimbo runaka bumvise inyuma mugihe habaye ihahamuka. Birashobora kuba ikintu cyose gitera umwana guterwa.
Kwiyitirira Sabotage: Guhangana nibi birashobora guterwa no kwizirika k'umwana; Rimwe na rimwe, umwana azahita amenya hagati yo kwinezeza ko "adakwiriye ibi" cyangwa ko atinya kwinezeza ", cyangwa yizera ko hari ukuntu wenda ibintu byari kuba byiza nta muri we; ko atari hano. Kandi umwana yumva adahagije cyangwa yicira urubanza… nuko ahitamo gufata icyemezo kizarangiza igihe gishimishije afite (ndetse nabandi). Tuvugishije ukuri, hariho impamvu nyinshi zituma umwana ufite kwikuramo nabi.
Noneho inama zihuse zo kugerageza kugufasha muriki gihe: akenshi kuvana umwana mubihe (binyuze mubitera inkunga… twizere ko bitanyuze mumubiri), no gutanga ituze, kugenzura no guhumurizwa… wenda ufite ikiringiti kiremereye mukiganza, a agace k'ishinya, cyangwa uwonsa, umuziki umwana akunda… ibyo byose birashobora kuguhumuriza, ariko uzi umwana wawe neza kandi biragaragara ko ukoresha ibigukorera byose (ibi nibintu byangiriye akamaro). Na none, (amaherezo… rimwe na rimwe bifata iminota mike kugirango agereyo) ariko akunda kwicara iruhande rwanjye ukuboko kwanjye kumukikije. Noneho… byadutwaye igihe kugirango tubigereho, ariko dushimire ko turiho kandi binyereka ko afite isano ryiza kuri njye kandi arandeba ngo amufashe kwisubiraho.
Sinzi rero ko iyi nyandiko ifite ibisubizo nyabyo kuri wewe niba uhuye nibi cyangwa wabibonye kera. Ntekereza ko ikintu cy'ingenzi ugomba kumenya ari uko utari wenyine muri byo, ko bibaho kenshi… birashoboka ko bishoboka cyane kuruta uko ubitekereza… kandi nubwo bishobora kuba ari umuyaga muri iki gihe, birashobora kuba ikirere, kandi ikirere kikaba cyiza. .
Mugihe bibaye, ushobora kuba utazi icyabimuteye, ariko mubunararibonye bwanjye, inzira yo "kuyivamo" byose ni bimwe, ndizera rero ko mugusoma iyi nyandiko, ushishikajwe cyane ko atari ngombwa byanze bikunze ikintu wakoze cyangwa utakoze… ni ikindi gisubizo cyihungabana ryumwana wawe yagize.
Mubyukuri,
Kris