Iyo mpuye nabantu nkaganira kubarera ikibazo byanze bikunze kiza (no mubiganiro byiminota itanu mugihe ndimo gukora akazu) ni "bigenda bite iyo nifatanije cyane?" Kandi rimwe na rimwe birakurikiranwa, “Ntabwo nashoboye kubasubiza.”
Nibyiza, ubanza, niba utekereza ko uzaba "wifatanije cyane," noneho ugomba rwose gutekereza kuba umubyeyi urera (nzazenguruka kuriya mukanya). Icya kabiri, yego wabasubiza. Nzi ko abantu benshi bafite intego nziza kandi ntibavuga ko ibyo bitazasubiza umwana kubabyeyi babo bababyaye iyo byateganijwe n'urukiko; barimo kuvuga gusa amagambo akomeye bashaka kuvuga ko badashaka kubikora kandi byaba bigoye cyane. Ndabyumva rwose. Ariko bari (kandi barashobora) kubikora, biragoye nubwo byaba.
Noneho reka dukemure igitekerezo cyose cyo "kwizirika cyane". Niba utekereza ko bishoboka cyane ko wumva byimbitse kandi bikomeye kubyerekeye umwana no kumwitaho, ugomba rero kureba rwose kuba umubyeyi urera. Urashobora kuba umaze kwiyumvisha ibi, ariko nkumwana asubizwa kubabyeyi babyaranye, birababaza bidasanzwe. Kandi ntabwo ari ububabare buzagabanuka vuba. Cyangwa birashoboka. Aho niho tubona igitekerezo cyo "gufatana cyane".
Ariko attachment nibyo rwose abana barera bakeneye. Inshuro nyinshi, ntabwo bigeze bagira umuntu ubakunda rwose, cyangwa ngo bagire umuntu mubuzima bwabo bakundana neza. Nkigisubizo, ntibazi guhuza cyangwa kwerekana ko aribyo imitima yabo yifuza.
Nkababyeyi barera, ni twe tugomba guta uwo murongo w'ubuzima kubana bacu; impano yo kwizirika ni ikintu ushobora guha abana bashobora gutwara nabo ubuzima bwabo bwose… utitaye ko bari kumwe nawe.
Nasobanukiwe kare mubibazo byumuhungu wacu muto ko akeneye kumenya ko tumukunda kandi ko tuzamwitaho uko dushoboye; muyandi magambo, yari akeneye kwizirika. Rero, kugirango tubone uwo mugereka, twamufashe igihe cyose (nubwo yanze gufatwa igihe yahageraga bwa mbere). Twaganiriye nawe, tumureba mumaso tumwenyura cyane; twamuhumurije igihe yarize. Nyuma y'igihe, yize kwishimira gufatwa; mubyukuri, ubu birashoboka ko aribwo bunini bunini ushobora guhura. Ariko ibyo yishimiraga no gusobanukirwa ihumure n'urukundo byatewe nuko yaduhuje natwe akabona ko tumwitayeho cyane; umurongo wo hasi, yari yometse… natwe natwe.
Mugihe yashyizwe (kandi amezi yakurikiyeho), ntitwari tuzi ko azabana natwe ubuziraherezo, ariko twakoze kugirango dushyireho umugozi hagati yacu kuko twari tuzi ko abikeneye kandi gukira ihahamuka byari gutangira kubaho gusa. tumaze kugira ishingiro ryumugereka. Nubwo abana barera batamenya ko arikintu cyabuze mubuzima bwabo, kumenya umuntu no kumenyekana byimazeyo numuntu birakenewe cyane kuri twese.
Nibyo, yego, urashobora "kwizirika cyane" mugihe umutima wawe wunvikana mugihe umwana avuye murugo rwawe, ariko ababyeyi bose barera barashobora gushimira no kwishimira kuba batanze impano yo kwizirika kumwana… impano ishobora gukoreshwa a ubuzima bwose.
Mubyukuri,
Kris