Mu nyandiko yanjye iheruka, navuze ko ushobora kuba utazi byinshi (cyangwa byose) mumateka yumwana mbere yuko baza kubitaho. Inyandiko yuyu munsi ivuga bike mubyimpamvu utazi byinshi, icyo ushobora kubura, nuburyo wowe (numwana wawe) ushobora gutera imbere nubwo hari ibyo byuho.
Mugihe serivisi zirengera abana zizagerageza gukusanya amakuru ashoboka kubyerekeye amateka yumwana, akenshi usanga hari icyuho kinini mumakuru. Kandi rimwe na rimwe nubwo DCS izi amakuru, ntibashobora kuyasangira nababyeyi barera.
Hariho izindi mpamvu zishobora gutuma udashobora kubona amakuru: ababyeyi babyaranye barashobora gufungwa; ntabwo bagaragara kuri gahunda kubwimpamvu zitandukanye; cyangwa ntibashaka gusa kuguha amakuru.
Birashoboka kandi ko umwana yagize impinduka nyinshi mubarezi, yikubita kumuntu kumuntu, bivuze ko ntamuntu numwe ukuze uzi ibyo umwana yanyuzemo. Bashobora gutanga ibisobanuro byamakuru, ariko ntabwo ari binini, bikomeza amateka.
Tuvugishije ukuri, hariho impamvu nyinshi zitandukanye zishobora gutuma ubura amakuru, ariko ni ubuhe bwoko bw'ikinyuranyo mvuga? Nkuko byavuzwe mu nyandiko yanjye y'ubushize, ushobora kutamenya igihe umwana wawe yavukiye, ibiro, cyangwa uburebure. Kandi mugihe ibyo bishobora kuba ibibazo, haribindi byinshi binini bitazwi. Icy'ingenzi akenshi kirimo gutwita kwa nyina ubyara. Ibihe yari atwite byari bimeze bite? Yaba yarigeze yitabwaho mbere yo kubyara? Umwana yaba yarahuye nibiyobyabwenge cyangwa inzoga muri utero? Yaba atagira aho aba cyangwa yahohotewe mugihe atwite? Muri rusange ubuzima bwe bwo mu mutwe bwari bumeze bute?
Umwanya umwana yamara muri utero ni kimwe mubintu bidakunze gutekerezwaho, kabone niyo wafata umwana wavutse cyangwa muto. Abantu bakunze kugira imyumvire itari yo ko umwana "nta ihahamuka" aramutse yaje kubasanga umwana amaze kuvuka; ariko nkeneye ko umenya ibyo ntabwo arukuri. Nakundaga kubyizera ubwanjye, kugeza igihe naboneye ubwanjye umwana ufite ihungabana mbere yo kubyara aba munsi yinzu yanjye. Dore impamvu:
Nkuko ushobora cyangwa utabizi, mugihe umuntu afite ibibazo, umubiri ukora cortisol. Cortisol ni imisemburo yibanze kandi irashobora gufasha umuntu mugihe irekuwe mumubiri gake cyane… ifasha guhagarika imirimo itari ngombwa mugihe cyo kurwana, guhaguruka cyangwa guhagarika igisubizo. Ariko nibibazo mugihe irekurwa rya cortisol rikomeje (nkigihe mugihe cyigihe kirekire cyo guhangayika), ndetse nibindi byinshi kumugore utwite; niba arimo gutanga urugero rwinshi rwa cortisol, noneho umwana uri muri utero arimo koga muri yo (ntabwo bivuze, birumvikana, ariko nzi neza ko wumva igitekerezo cyanjye). Uku guhura kwumwana muri utero birashobora gutera ubukererwe bwiterambere hamwe nurwego rudakira rwo guhangayika nyuma yo kuvuka.
Nubwo rero umwana yaba atarigeze ahura nibiyobyabwenge cyangwa inzoga mbere yo kuvuka, ntibisobanura ko batigeze bahura nihungabana.
Noneho details ibisobanuro birambuye ushobora kuba utazi kubyerekeye umwana uza kwitabwaho: Amateka yiterambere arashobora kubura. Ntushobora kumenya niba umwana yagendeye, avuga, cyangwa gukubita izindi ntambwe ziterambere; kumenya ubwoko bwibintu bishobora gufasha kurera ababyeyi (nabaganga babo) guhanura neza kubyerekeye ejo hazaza. Bishatse kuvuga ko udashobora gufasha umwana wawe kuba mwiza? Ntabwo rwose… byoroshye gusa niba uzi intego zagezweho mugihe cyambere.
Amateka ya genetike nayo ashobora kuba atazwi. Ntibishobora kumvikana niba umuryango wumwana ufite amateka yibibazo byubuzima bwumubiri cyangwa bwo mumutwe, gutinda kwiterambere cyangwa kumenya ubwenge, ibiyobyabwenge, nibindi.
Amateka y'ihungabana ry'umwana arashobora kuba adashidikanywaho. Abakuze ntibashobora kumenya amateka yumwana yo kutitaho, guhohoterwa, cyangwa guhura n’ihohoterwa rikorerwa mu ngo.
Ibyuho mumakuru birashoboka ko hazabaho ibibazo bijyanye namateka yumugereka wumwana. Abana badafitanye isano nabarezi babanza (mubisanzwe ababyeyi babo bababyaye, ariko siko buri gihe) barashobora kurwara indwara zomugereka, nkizo zifatika.
Kandi ntibigucike intege, ariko rimwe na rimwe ibibazo byubuzima bwo mu mutwe, gutinda kwiterambere cyangwa ibibazo byubuzima bwumubiri ntibishobora kugaragara kugeza nyuma yuko umwana abanye numuryango urera igihe gito. Ibi birashobora guterwa nuko umwana yiga kwizirika kandi akumva afite umutekano.
Nzi ko ibi bisa nkaho "Debbie Downer" kandi ntabwo aribyo ntego yanjye. Niba utekereza kurera cyangwa uri shyashya kumikino, ndashaka ko winjira muri inararibonye n'amaso yawe Yagutse kandi uzi ibishoboka.
Ibimaze kuvugwa… dukora iki kubijyanye no kubura amakuru yose? Nibyiza, kurwego runaka ugomba gukomeza kandi ugakemura puzzle hamwe nibimenyetso gusa kuriwe. Kugira ngo bisobanuke neza, simvuze ibi byoroshye. Birababaje kandi ndumva rwose uburambe kuva mugihe cyanjye nkumubyeyi urera. Tugomba gukora ibishoboka byose nkababyeyi barera hamwe nibyo twahawe. Nabigereranije no kuba intasi y'ubwoko; umwana wanjye ntabwo arikibazo nkeneye gukemura, ahubwo ni puzzle nkeneye gukemura.
Kandi naje nte kubimenya? Nibyiza, ubanza, gufata umwana ufite ibyo ntasobanukiwe nukwicisha bugufi. Nzi ko ntari umuswa, ariko njye, nta kuntu nari mfite ibikoresho byose nari nkeneye kumufasha igihe yazaga kubana natwe bwa mbere. Niba kandi utazi ikibazo cyumwana icyo aricyo, birashobora kukugora kumenya kubikemura. Kurugero, birashobora kuba ikibazo cyibanze, nkubwoba cyangwa umubabaro ushobora kwerekana nkuburakari… bityo ugomba gukemura ubwoba cyangwa umubabaro kugirango ukemure uburakari… reba icyo nshaka kuvuga kuba umugenzacyaha? (TBRI ni SUPER-ifasha muriki kibazo… nyamuneka kanda kubona inyandiko yanjye ifite ibisobanuro byinshi kubyerekeye!)
Kugeza uyu munsi, sindacyemeza 100% impamvu umwana wanjye adashobora gufata icupa cyangwa ibiryo cyangwa ibiryo ibyo aribyo byose kumunwa (bavuze ko afite "refleks gag reflex" ariko sinzi neza igitera… urabikora? ?), ariko abaganga batubwiye ko ashobora kwiga kurya no kunywa kumunwa… nuko twese dukorana HARD hamwe numuvuzi wakazi utangaje. Kandi dore… amaherezo umwana wacu mwiza ntagikeneye G-tube.
Ingingo yo kuba: icyo nabonye vuba, ni uko tutagomba buri gihe kumenya "impamvu" cyangwa "uko" ikintu cyabaye kugirango tumenye "icyo" gukora kugirango tugerageze gukora neza.
Kandi mvugishije ukuri, ibyo nibyinshi mubyo kurera aribyo byose: gukunda aba bana aho bari hose murugendo rwabo no kuza hamwe nabo kugirango babafashe kubayobora mubyiciro byabo bikurikira. Gushyira ku ruhande "impamvu" no kwibanda kuri "ubufasha" ni ahantu heza cyane kandi heza ho kuba.
Bizakomeza kugorana rimwe na rimwe? Rwose. Umwana wawe, birashoboka cyane, azakenera ubuvuzi kugirango bufashe gukora mubukererwe, ibibazo, nibindi? Rwose. Ariko kuba ushobora gutera intambwe hanyuma ukamenya ko udashinzwe kuzuza icyuho cyose cyamateka birashobora kuguha wowe, numwana wawe, ubushobozi bwo gutera imbere, icyakora ibyo birasa.
Twizere ko ibyo bigufasha kuguha amahoro yo mumutima kubijyanye nuko UZABura amakuru kuri kiddo yawe… ariko mugihe kirekire, ntabwo buri gihe bizaba ari ibintu bikomeye; barashobora kwakira urukundo no gukira.
Mubyukuri,
Kris