Nyizera iyo nkubwiye ko rwose utari wenyine niba utarigeze wumva imvugo ngo "watsimbaraye ku kwihangana kwe". Ibi byari bishya kuri njye… Nabyumvise bwa mbere mu mezi make ashize… nubwo maze imyaka hafi icumi mu isi irera / kurera.
Kandi nubwo arikintu runaka nahuye na kiddo yanjye mumyaka myinshi ubu.
Ariko birahagije kubijyanye nuko ushobora kuba utazi icyo bivuze… tubwire gusa, sibyo?
Inkuru ndende rero ngufi: iyo umwana ari hagati yo gukora ikintu runaka (kandi gishobora kuba ikintu cyiza cyangwa kibi) hanyuma agatsimbarara mumutwe mugukora ibyo akora kandi ntashobora kubitandukanya.
Urugero rumwe mubuzima bwanjye bwite, kandi hashobora kuba benshi, mvugishije ukuri, ni gukinira parike. Umuhungu wanjye akunda gukinira parike. Umwuka mwiza, izuba, guhura n'inshuti nshya… byose ni ibintu. Ariko igihe kirageze cyo kugenda, keretse niba abandi bana bose bagiye, kandi / cyangwa umwijima hanze, ntashaka kugenda.
Hanze, nkora uko nshoboye kugirango ntuze (bimufasha kumfasha gutuza ituze), ariko imbere, nshobora gutaka, kuko bisa no kutumvira. Kandi irashobora (kandi ikora) kumva rwose binteye isoni. Niba ndi inyangamugayo rwose, ibyo nibimwe mubice bigoye byumwana wanjye gutsimbarara ku kwihangana kwe… birasa no gusuzugura kandi mfite isoni kubera ibyo abandi bashobora kuba batekereza.
Kandi kubantu benshi, gusuzugura nibyo rwose batekereza. Kandi birashoboka, rimwe na rimwe iba yitwaje kwihangana. Ariko icyo ngomba kwibuka, kandi nzaba inyangamugayo ntabwo buri gihe nibuka kuko birashobora rwose gutesha umutwe (kandi biteye isoni) iyo bibaye kumugaragaro, ariko icyo ngomba kwibuka nuko umwana wanjye atampaye bikomeye igihe… umwana wanjye afite ikibazo. Nkeneye rero kuba ahari kugirango mumfashe gukora iyo nzibacyuho, nubwo bigoye.
Bumwe mu buryo nkunda kubisobanurira umuntu ni uko igare rizunguruka mu muhanda wa kaburimbo ari byiza gusa igihe riba riri mu kayira; ingorane ziza mugihe igare rikeneye kuva mubitereko kandi ntibishoboka kubikora. Inshuro nyinshi, ni inzira mbi aho igare rishobora gukubita, rishobora gutigita, ibintu bishobora gusohoka, kandi ni ubucuruzi bwuzuye.
Biragaragara ko kwizirika ku kwihangana ntabwo arikintu kiddo gusa kuva ahantu hagoye ni ukurwana, ariko bikunze kugaragara muriyi demokarasi.
Nigute, nkumubyeyi urera (cyangwa umuntu mukuru wese muriki kibazo), nabikemura nte? Nibyiza, ntabwo rwose ndi umuhanga, ariko iyi niyo gahunda yanjye yo kujya (iyo ndi kumukino wanjye A-A): aha niho imyitozo yanjye ya TBRI ije ikenewe cyane. Ntunyumve nabi, birakenewe umunsi wose, burimunsi. Ariko hano niho numva rwose ndabishushanya cyane. Ndagumana na we, nkamutera inkunga yo guhitamo neza, nkamuha amahitamo, kandi ikiruta byose, nkomeza gutuza. Ntabwo nshobora gushimangira ibi bihagije: shyira ku ruhande ibyo nshobora kuba numva, ibyo nibwira ko abandi batekereza kuri njye na we mukanya gato hanyuma ukomeze gutuza.
Urashobora kuba ubona insanganyamatsiko, kuko nzi neza ko navuze ibi, hamwe nizindi nyandiko nyinshi, ariko nubwo ibyo abandi bashobora kuba banyitekerezaho icyo gihe, nkeneye kubishyira kuruhande, nkibanda kuri icyo umwana wanjye akeneye, nuburyo nshobora kumufasha neza.
Nzi ko ushobora kuba utekereza ko bisa nkibicucu ko numva biteye isoni, kuko ntabwo arinjye usuzugura, ariko binteye isoni. Birashoboka ko twese twahabaye ingingo… uri kumugaragaro kandi umwana wawe ntabwo akora ibyo wasabye, cyangwa ibyo bazi bakeneye gukora.
Ariko reka nkubwire: gutsimbarara ku kwihangana ni nkibyo, ariko kurwego rwa nth. Kandi kimwe nimyitwarire yose itifuzwa, ntabwo arikintu umwana wawe yifuza. Ntamuntu numwe wahitamo ibyo cyangwa guhitamo kwerekana imyitwarire. Ubwonko bwihungabana ntibushobora gukora ibyo bukeneye gukora. Nibihe tuza gukina, nkababyeyi bamenyesha ihahamuka.
Ndizera rero ko ibisobanuro byanjye bigufi bisobanura icyo bisobanura nuburyo bwiza bwo kubyihanganira nkumubyeyi urera biha buri wese muri mwe ubushishozi no gusobanukirwa… no gushishikarizwa kumenya ko utari wenyine mubyakubayeho muri uru rugendo.
Mubyukuri,
Kris