Akenshi iyo dutekereje ku gahinda mubijyanye no kurera, dutekereza kubabyeyi barera… kandi birashoboka ko biterwa numwanya turimo muri ubu butatu (ababyeyi barera - abana barera - ababyeyi babyaranye).
Kandi mugihe tutagomba na gato kugabanya akababaro umuryango urera ushobora kumva mugihe umwana avuye murugo (kabone niyo byaba ari uguhuriza hamwe ubuzima bwiza), intimba nshaka kuvuga uyumunsi nuwo mwana yiboneye mugihe aje mumwanya.
Iyo umwana aje kwitabwaho, ibi ni ibintu byababaje… utitaye ku bihe bakuyemo. Ibyo bihe, nubwo bitameze neza kandi birashoboka ko ari urugomo kandi / cyangwa birengagije, byari ibyo bamenye byose kandi hariho ihumure kubimenya. Agahinda nigisubizo gisanzwe kandi gisanzwe kubihombo byinshi.
Byongeye kandi, umwana uza kwitabwaho akenshi aba ari mu gihirahiro, nukuvuga; mu ntangiriro y'urubanza, nta buryo bwo kumenya uburyo guhurira hamwe n’umuryango w’ibinyabuzima bizabaho (niba bibaye), bityo rero bikaba byerekana neza impungenge nintimba umwana ashobora kumva.
Gukurwa muri ibyo bidukikije bizwi gitunguranye ugashyirwa mubidukikije bishya birababaje. Kandi iki gihombo gishobora guhinduka mukababaro. Nubwo ibidukikije bishya ari ibidukikije bishimishije, bizima, birera, umwana yagize igihombo kinini; byibuze, babuze umuryango (birashoboka ko ababyeyi n'abavandimwe); urugo rwabo (ibidukikije bari bamenyereye); ibintu byabo (akenshi umwana ntashobora kujyana byinshi mugihe bakuweho); n'ishuri ryabo / umwarimu / abo bigana (rimwe na rimwe, ariko si kenshi, umwana ntashobora gukomeza mwishuri ryabanje bityo rero bagomba gutangira mwishuri rishya ryegereye urugo rurera). Nta na kimwe muri ibyo bintu gishobora kubatakara ubuziraherezo, ariko mu kanya, uko urubanza rugenda rugenda, ntacyo bitwaye igihe umwana yakuwe muri aba bantu nibintu… ni igihombo kinini gishobora kumvikana cyane.
Nyamuneka nyamuneka hagarara hanyuma utekereze ko kumwanya muto… ibyo nibyinshi kubantu bose batunganya, ariko cyane cyane kumwana.
Ibyo byavuzwe… wowe, nkumubyeyi urera, uzashaka kwinjiramo no gukora ibintu neza… ariko utegereze, ntushobora kubikora rwose, kuko umwana atagukunda. Birumvikana, utarabona amahirwe yo kwereka umwana ushobora kugirirwa ikizere kandi kugirango umwana abashe kugushyiramo imigabane. Agahinda, guhangayika nubwoba birashobora kumera nkibintu byinshi usibye uko biri (tekereza "birababaje = umusazi"… uwo ni ko nkunze gutekereza; umwana uhuye nintimba cyangwa guhangayika ashobora kugaragara nkumusazi mugihe amarangamutima nyayo bumva. kandi kudatunganya neza birababaje).
Nigute ushobora kubaka ubwo bucuti numwana ukabafasha gukora binyuze mumarangamutima yabo?
Ku mpinja, birashobora kugorana cyane kuko rwose ntibazumva impamvu ibidukikije byahindutse bitunguranye kandi bikomeye. Bashobora kuba badashobora guhuzagurika cyangwa byibuze bituje. Kubafasha rero, birashobora gusobanura Kutakaraba buri kintu kimwe cyinjiye murugo (biragaragara ko ibi bitaba aribyo niba hari amakosa, ariko iyo ni ingingo yizindi nyandiko); uwo munuko umenyereye murugo urashobora kubafasha gutura mubidukikije bishya, nubwo wasanga impumuro idashimishije.
Kubana bato kugeza hafi yincuke, aba bana barashobora kwerekana akababaro kabo kubwo kwizirika, kunangira cyangwa guhangayika. Kugira ngo ubafashe gutuza, urashobora kuba inyangamugayo mubisubizo byawe, mugihe babajije ibintu nka, “Mama ari he?” Ba inyangamugayo uko ubishoboye, ariko ntuzigere uvuga ibirenze imitima yabo n'ibitekerezo byabo. Kandi icyarimwe, ubahe kwihangana no gukunda amagambo no kwemeza, hamwe no guhobera no guhumurizwa, niba umwana azabimwemerera.
Kumyaka yibanze na tweens, akababaro kabo karashobora kugaragazwa nibibazo byishuri, ibibazo byo kwiga, cyangwa kwibanda gusa kubura ababyeyi bababyaye. Kubabyeyi barera bafite kiddo ziyi myaka, nibyiza kuba ugutwi mugihe umwana ashaka gusangira, ariko mugihe kimwe akunganira mwizina ryumwana hamwe nabarezi hamwe na / cyangwa abarimu bashobora kuba batazi rwose ko ibyabo akazi k'ishuri kibangamiwe nintimba zabo. Umwana arashobora kuba akora mubushobozi bwabo bwose, ariko aremerewe numubabaro kuburyo bitagaragara.
Kandi kubangavu, biragaragara ko babigizemo uruhare. Bazagira urwego rwisumbuyeho rwo gusobanukirwa, hamwe nubushobozi bufatika kandi budasobanutse bwo gutekereza, kandi birashoboka cyane ihahamuka nintimba kugirango bikemurwe. Tuvugishije ukuri… ibintu byose. Agahinda mu rubyiruko karashobora kandi kugaragara nkintambara mu ishuri, ariko nanone irashobora kuba kurya nabi, ibiyobyabwenge cyangwa kunywa inzoga, kwiheba nibindi. Kugirango dufashe ingimbi zirwana nintimba, nkababyeyi barera, turashobora gukomeza kubafasha guhitamo neza, ariko tunabemerera umudendezo nubwigenge bushoboka. Bakeneye gushobora kurokora umwirondoro wabo mugihe bagenda muri iki gihe kitoroshye kandi giteye urujijo.
Igihe kirengana, kandi ugakomeza kubaka umugereka, umwana twizere ko azatangira gukora mububabare akavuka kurundi ruhande. Ibi ntabwo ari imbaraga nyinshi nkana kubabyeyi barera (kandi akenshi inama zumwuga cyangwa ubuvuzi zirashobora gukenerwa, kimwe). Byongeye kandi, niba ufite "ihahamuka ryibanze" kubushake bwawe kandi ukumva ko umwana atari mubi mubi cyangwa bigoye, ahubwo ni umusaruro wintimba zabo nihahamuka, uzaba ufite ibikoresho byiza byo kubakorera no kubitaho.
Mubyukuri,
Kris