Nifuzaga gufata ibyumweru bike biri imbere ngakora urukurikirane ruto rw'inyandiko zitwa "Kuva mu myobo: Icyo nifuza ko namenya". Kugira ngo mbone amakuru yanjye, nakoze ubushakashatsi ku kidendezi cyababyeyi barera ndababaza ibintu bifuza ko bamenya mbere yo kurera. Hariho ibintu byinshi byo kumenya, byanze bikunze, ariko nibihe bimwe mubice bikomeye-byingenzi byamakuru bifuza ko babimenya mbere yo gusimbuka.
Hariho ibisubizo bitari bike, ariko kugirango byumvikane neza, buri mubyeyi urera yijeje ko bari gukomeza kurera iyo bamenya aya makuru; gusa bifuza ko bamenya mbere yigihe kuko bumva ko byari gutuma ibyababayeho byoroha gato.
Hamwe nibyo, ndashaka kumenyekanisha inyandiko yambere murukurikirane, kandi ibi bivuga ko umwana wese wakuwe mumuryango wibinyabuzima yanyuze mubyago, bigoye. Noneho ndabizi ko twabikozeho kera, n'inzira zitandukanye, ariko dore icyo uyu mubyeyi urera yavuze.
Umubyeyi umwe urera atangira asobanura ko ababyeyi barera neza bagomba kumenya kandi bakemera ko ibyababayeho ari ukuri kandi bishobora guhindura uko umwana abona isi. Umwana birashoboka ko azitwaza kwibuka iryo hahamuka mubuzima bwabo bwose. “Ihahamuka ni ukuri ku mwana uwo ari we wese (ndetse n'impinja nshya) muri gahunda yo kurera. Gushyira murugo rwawe bizaba ubwabyo bizaba ihahamuka. Ugomba kwiyigisha uko bishoboka kose mbere yo kuzana abo bana mu rugo rwawe. ”
“Byinshi muri ibyo tekereza uzi kubyerekeye kurera kandi abana bazakenera kwibagirana kumwana uhanganye nihungabana. Witegure kandi witegure kwiga uburyo bwo kurera abana bababyeyi bafite ihungabana ukundi. Urukundo ntirushobora gukosora byose. ”
Ntabwo nshobora kugaragariza buri wese muri mwe musoma ibi uko numva byimazeyo imyumvire imwe. Nkuko nabibabwiye mbere, dufite abana babiri bibinyabuzima, neurotypical kandi twumvaga dukora akazi keza kubarera; ntabwo twirata, ariko ni abana beza. Twari tuzi neza ko twari tuzi kubabyeyi kandi ibintu bizagenda neza mugihe twazanaga abana barera murugo rwacu. Bashobora gutandukana bate, sibyo?
Muraho, reka nkubwire… ni. Ntabwo ari ukubera ko bashaka kuba, kandi ntabwo binyuze mumahitamo ayo ari yo yose bihitiyemo. Ariko imyitwarire yabo ni ibisubizo byo guhitamo abandi babakoreye, uburambe bagize, ndetse n'amateka yumuryango bakomokamo… kandi kuri buri mwana muri gahunda yimibereho, ibi rwose birimo ihahamuka.
Noneho… Ndagusezeranije, nicaye mu mahugurwa ikigo cyanjye cyatanze, maze nandika inyandiko nsoma ibitabo numva abandi bavuga ibyababayeho, ariko biragaragara ko ntari nuzuye neza ibyo bavuze.
Ninkaho igihe nabazwe bikomeye mumyaka mike ishize, kandi sinzabeshya… gukira byari ubugome. Kandi ndibuka, igihe kimwe mugihe cyo gukira, mama yarambwiye ati "ntiwumvaga mugihe muganga yakubwiye mbere yo kubagwa uko gukira kuzaba kumera?" Namwijeje ko ndimo ndumva, ariko nari nzi ko ibizavamo, birenze gukira igihe gito, bigiye kunoza ibintu cyane kandi nikintu nifuzaga gukora. Nari niteguye gushyira ku ruhande ububabare bwigihe gito kubwinyungu rusange, ndende.
Kuba umubyeyi urera ni kimwe cyane. Nari numvise muri ayo mahugurwa, ariko numvaga ububabare bwigihe gito bwaba bukwiye kunguka igihe kirekire. Kubwamahirwe, "igihe gito" mwisi irera ni ndende cyane kuruta uko nabitekerezaga kuko mubyukuri ntishobora na rimwe kugenda burundu.
Abana barashobora kwihangana, ariko intsinzi yabo ishingiye kubufasha bwabo kubarezi. Natwe, nk'ababyeyi barera, dufite uruhare runini mu gufasha umwana kugabanya “ibimenyetso” no gukira ihungabana. Kugira umubano mwiza, umutekano, no gushyigikirwa numuntu mukuru wizewe nikintu cyingenzi gikenewe kubana gutsinda ihahamuka. Tekereza igihe cyabo cyo kurera nk'icyumba cyo gukira nyuma ya op, aho bakangutse, bakanguka, kandi bakubahiriza ingamba zo kuvura, kugeza igihe bazemererwa gutaha. Gukira birakomeje birenze icyumba cyo gukira, ariko inkovu zatewe nihungabana zizakomeza kubaho, nubwo izo nkovu zishaje kandi zishire.
Nibyo, turimo kubona iterambere, tubona ibisubizo, kandi tubona gukira; TBRI n'ihungabana byamenyeshejwe ubuvuzi, ibyo nabivuze mu nyandiko zabanjirije iyi, ndetse n'ubuvuzi butandukanye, ubuvuzi, amarangamutima ndetse n'imyitwarire ndetse no gutabara byazamuye imibereho myiza ku mwana wacu gusa no ku muryango muri rusange. Ibi bintu bifasha ingaruka zihahamuka kugabanuka… kandi tuzi ko ibintu bimeze neza muri rusange.
Muri icyo gihe, twaje kubona ko ibimenyetso by'ihungabana bigumana n'umwana ubuziraherezo; ntushobora na rimwe gushinga imizi mu muntu kuko uburambe bwubuzima butuma umuntu uwo ari we. Ntidushobora guca icyo gice mu gitabo cye, ariko turashobora gufasha guhindura icyerekezo cyinkuru.
Ibyo byose bivuze, aya magambo yababyeyi barera yanditse hejuru aragaragara kuri… ukeneye gusobanukirwa neza, cyangwa uko ushoboye kose kuko nzi ko ushimishijwe no gusimbuka kugirango ufashe abana batishoboye kandi ushobora gutekereza ko nibeshye kuriyi , ariko ihahamuka rizahorana numwana kurwego runaka, kandi kubwibyo ntushobora kubabyeyi nkuko wabikora umwana wa neurotypical, biologique.
Nibyiza, kugirango ube mwiza, urashobora * umubyeyi kimwe… ariko ibisubizo bizaba bitandukanye cyane kandi rwose ntabwo bizagira ingaruka ushobora kuba ushaka. Sinkubwiye ibi byose kugirango bigutere ubwoba cyangwa ngo nkubuze guta ingofero yawe. Gusa ndashaka ko buriwese yinjira mumaso afunguye.
Mubyukuri,
Kris