Nkuko rero ushobora (cyangwa udashobora) kwibuka, ibyumweru bibiri bishize, nashyizeho kubyerekeye imihango yo gutera inkunga. Kandi nyuma yibyo, nabonye gutekereza kumihango yose itandukanye dukoresha murugo rwacu burimunsi. Kandi burya birashoboka cyane ko benshi muri mwe bakora ibintu bimwe (ariko bamwe murimwe murashobora kutabikora) kubwinyandiko zikurikira ndashaka gutera intambwe hanyuma ngasura bimwe mubyo dukora kumihango ya buri munsi iwacu urugo. Kandi twizere ko, nubwo umuryango wawe wigize make ushobora kuba utandukanye nuwacu, bizaguha ibiryo byiza byo gutekereza kuburyo imihango ishobora gufasha kuzana ituze namahoro murugo rwawe.
Mbere yuko njya kure cyane, ndumva ngomba gusobanura hano: iyo mvuze "umuhango", ndashaka kuvuga rwose (kubice byinshi) "gahunda". Ariko nkoresha ijambo umuhango kuko ndumva bitwara hamwe nuburemere buke nubusobanuro… kandi birashoboka ko hari ikindi cyunvikana ko igikorwa cyangwa igikorwa runaka gishobora kuba nkenerwa cyane kugirango ukoreshe hamwe nabana baturutse ahantu habi… kuko nkuko ubishoboye menya, bakenera akenshi iyo gahunda cyane kuruta neurotypical kiddos. Kandi rero nukuvuga ko ari "umuhango" aho kuba "gahunda", nzanye ubusobanuro bwinyongera kuri yo.
Noneho mbere yuko ntangira, ndumva ngomba gushyiramo iki cyemezo: biragaragara ko nifuza ko ibi bitaba, ariko ntakintu na kimwe gifite gihamya yuzuye, ndetse nintego nziza ntishobora gukora nkuko byari byateganijwe. Na none, birashobora kugutwara umwanya muto kugirango ubone umuhango ukwiye, igihe gikwiye… byose. Kandi birashoboka cyane ko numara kubona injyana nziza mumihango yawe, bazahinduka… urakaza neza kubabyeyi, sibyo?
Hano hari ibice byinshi byumunsi / umwaka nifuza kubiganiraho, ariko icya mbere nifuza kuvuga ni imihango ya mugitondo: umunsi umeze ute iyo umwana yabyutse bwa mbere akimuka hanze? . Ibi bisa nkaho byaba mbere (byibuze mubitekerezo byanjye, cyane cyane kumunsi wishuri) ariko hashobora kubaho ikindi kintu gifata umwanya murugo rwawe: umwana abanza kurya hanyuma akambara, cyangwa nibindi? Ku muhungu wacu muto, nzi ko agomba kurya vuba nyuma yo kubyuka… tutitaye ku gihe icyo aricyo cyose. Ndagerageza rero "gukubita isaha" no guhaguruka imbere ye buri munsi; ku bw'amahirwe ubusanzwe ndatsinze, kandi ngomba kubyemera bituma ibintu bigenda neza mugihe mfite umunota wo guhumeka mbere yuko umunsi utangira. Ariko byinshi kubyerekeye murindi nyandiko.
Buri joro mbere yuko njya kuryama, mfite ibyombo byateganijwe kumiti ye no kurya. . akangura. Hariho umuhango rero mubiryo.
Ndatahura neza ko buri mwana adakunda kurya ikintu kimwe buri gitondo kugirango bibe ikintu ugomba kumenya. Rimwe na rimwe, akunda kujugunya umupira uhetamye, ariko ndamureka akayobora kandi nkagerageza uko nshoboye kugira ngo nkurikire kandi byibuze ugumane igice cy'ibintu bya mu gitondo kimwe buri munsi.
Igikurikira ugomba gusuzuma ni ibiba mugihe umwana arimo kurya ifunguro rya mugitondo: Wicarana numwana mugihe barya? Nigihe cyo kugenzura umukoro ugomba guhinduka kuri uriya munsi cyangwa nikintu cyabaye mwijoro ryakeye? Niba udasuzuma umukoro, bigenda bite? Birashoboka ko ushobora kugira umukino woroshye hamwe mbere yuko bajya mwishuri? Nzi neza ko niba hari abana benshi bafite imyaka myinshi, nibindi, umukino rero wihuse wa Uno ntushobora kuba udashoboka, ariko ndabijugunya hanze kugirango mbitekerezeho.
Ikindi gitekerezo nukugirango ufite igitabo ushobora kubasomera n'ijwi rirenga uko barya. Abahungu banje bakuru ntibakunze byanze bikunze gusoma mu ijwi riranguruye, ariko umuhungu wanjye muto arabikunda rwose. Numunyeshuri wumva, haribyo rero, nabandi babiri ntibari. Ariko birashoboka ko ushobora gukora inzira yawe ukoresheje urukurikirane… Percy Jackson, cyangwa Inzu Ntoya kuri Prairie cyangwa Coyote Peterson's Adventures. Ikintu bose bashobora kubona bashimishijwe no kwishimira kumva mugihe barimo kurya. Urashobora kubiganiraho nyuma… cyangwa sibyo. Birashoboka ko wasomye igice, cyangwa igice cyigice buri gitondo, ukareka gusoma bikivugira. Utitaye kuburyo ubikora, itanga amahirwe yo guhuza umwana wawe. Niba kandi uhisemo ikintu nko gusoma, biba mubice byimihango yabo ya mugitondo.
Biragaragara ko nshobora gukomeza no kubyerekeye imihango ya mugitondo nuburyo bihurira hamwe kandi bigahuza nibikenewe gukorwa buri munsi, ariko aho nzahita nanyura mubindi biryo kugirango ntekereze:
- Umwana ahitamo imyenda yabo cyangwa urabikora? Bamaze gutorwa ijoro ryakeye hanyuma bagashyirwaho, cyangwa guhitamo bibaho mugitondo? Niba ukora guhitamo imyenda buri gihe, biba nkumuhango.
- Niba umwana afata ifunguro rya sasita, ryapakiwe ryari ninde ubipakira? Niba upakira ifunguro rya sasita muburyo bumwe buri munsi, biba nkumuhango.
- Gusohoka mumuryango bisa bite? Burigihe burigihe, cyangwa biratandukanye bishingiye mugitondo? (Kuri twe, byaba bitandukanye buri gitondo… gerageza uko nshoboye kugirango ibintu bishoboke!) Niba ufite gahunda / inzira imwe yibintu byo gusohoka mumuryango buri gitondo, biba nkumuhango.
- Boba bonyine kugirango barebe ko bafite ibyo bakeneye cyangwa urabafasha? Hariho urutonde rwo kwemeza ko bafite ibyo bakeneye? Cyangwa ibyo birakorwa ijoro ryakeye? Niba bakoresha urutonde, bihinduka nkumuhango.
- Hanyuma, amagambo yo kubatera inkunga berekeje muri bisi; ibi bishobora kubamo ikintu nka, “Mugire umunsi mwiza! Gumana amaboko yawe wenyine! Ba inshuti nziza! Ndagukunda! ” Yego, wabitekereje: bihinduka nkumuhango.
Nkuko nabivuze… iyi mihango ya mugitondo ntabwo arikintu cyashyizwe mumabuye, kandi birashoboka cyane ko bizahinduka mugihe runaka. Ndabavuga kuko bo (hamwe nibindi bikorwa byose byimihango ukora) barashobora gufasha gutanga ibiteganijwe biganisha kumutekano biganisha kumutekano. Kumenya ibyo ugomba gutegereza, hanyuma mubyukuri mubyukuri, birashobora kandi guteza imbere no gutera inkunga bimwe mubikiza abana bose bava ahantu habi bifuza kandi bakeneye.
Nifuzaga ko habaho amarozi nshobora gutanga kugirango nkubwire icyo ugomba gukora n'igihe ugomba kubikora… ariko nkuko bimeze kubabyeyi bose, ni wowe uzi umwana wawe neza, kandi niki cyamufasha gutera imbere, ndizera ko ushobora koresha ibi nkimpamvu yo gushiraho (cyangwa gukomeza) imihango imwe ihoraho ya mugitondo. Kandi umurongo wo hasi: ikintu cyose ukora inshuro nyinshi mugitondo mbere yishuri gishobora guhinduka umuhango uramutse ubyemereye.
Mubyukuri,
Kris