Nibyiza rero ngiye gucengera mubintu ntakunda kuganira kuko bintera kumva ko natsinzwe. Ndi enneagram Ubwoko bwa 1 rero niba uri mubintu nkibyo, uzumva ko ndi ikintu cyuzuye. Kandi nubwo nzi neza ko ntatunganye, ndashaka ko abandi batekereza ko ndi, bityo guhagarika imyanya (kereka babiri muri bo) ni ibendera rinini ritukura rizunguruka nkaho rivuga riti: "Hey uyu mudamu ntabwo atunganye! ”
Ariko nkomeye nkuko numva nshaka kugaragara neza, numvise ndushijeho gukomera ko guhungabana… cyangwa muritwe, guhungabana bibiri nibyo byari bikenewe kubaho kubwinyungu za buri wese wabigizemo uruhare.
Kugirango tumenye neza ko twese dusobanutse, guhagarika akazi ntabwo arikintu cyiza, ariko bibaho… kandi ntabwo byatubayeho gusa ahubwo no mumiryango myinshi irera. Noneho ushobora kuba ubaza, “Noneho kuki ari bibi cyane? Ndashaka kuvuga, abana barabyitaho? ”
Nibyiza, niba uri mushya kwisi irera, ndashobora kubona impamvu ushobora kubaza rero dore ikintu: guhungabana nikintu ugomba kugerageza kwirinda, kuko abana baza kurera basanzwe bafite igihombo kinini mubuzima bwabo; kubimura byongeye birashobora guteza imbere ihungabana ryabo.
Tekereza kuri ibi: bakuwe mubintu byose bari bazi… kabone niyo byaba ari ugusebanya cyangwa kutitaweho… ibyo bintu byari byiza kuri bo kuko bari babimenyereye. Kubakura rero muri ibyo bihe bimenyerewe ukabijugunya mubintu bishya, hanyuma ukabakura muri kiriya "kintu gishya" ukabimurira mu rundi rugo rushya. Byose biratangaje cyane kandi birahahamuka… na none.
Ariko, rimwe na rimwe, gushira ntibikora murugo rwawe. Kuri twe, aho twashyize bwa mbere, nkuko nabivuze muri make mu nyandiko ibanza, yari afite umwana umwe hanze yimyaka twifuza. Twari twavuze ko tuzoroherwa nabana babiri bari munsi yimyaka ine, ariko umwe muribo bavukana yari mukuru cyane kurenza iyo. Byumvikane neza, SI ikigo cyacu ntabwo cyadusunitse; ibyo bakoze byose babajije niba tuzabisuzuma. Ariko, kubera ko nifuzaga cyane gusimbuka no gutangira kurera, twavuze yego. Nyuma yamasaha agera kuri 24, nasanze ndi hejuru yumutwe. Nagerageje kwibuka ibintu byose nize mumahugurwa, ariko ntacyo byari bimaze. Nahamagaye ikigo cyanjye kandi bari bakomeye kumbwira mubintu ngerageza ibyo batanze. Umuyobozi wimpushya ndetse yaje no kuvugana nanjye. Numvaga nshyigikiwe cyane, nyamara ndacyari hejuru yumutwe.
Nzaba inyangamugayo, ibyatsi byanyuma byari igihe abana banjye babyaranye, bahanganye nukuri kubashyira, amaherezo bakambwira ko batorohewe cyane kuko umwana mukuru yari yabakangishaga kandi akabakangisha. Noneho rero nyuma yiminsi umunani iwacu, nasabye ko bimura abakobwa murugo rushya. Urebye, ndizera ko nakora ibintu ukundi ariko kureba inyuma ni 20/20.
Ihungabana ryacu rya kabiri ryabaye nyuma yumuhungu wacu muto. Twategereje hafi amezi icyenda birangiye mbere yuko dufata ahandi. Twashyizwe hamwe no gukonja cyane, dusubiza inyuma umwana wamezi umunani. Yariye neza, aryama neza, yari afite imico myiza… yari mwiza cyane. Ariko umuhungu wacu muto, aracyafite ibibazo kubera ihungabana yagize akiri muto, ntabwo yashoboye gukemura ibibazo byo kubyara undi mwana murugo.
Abantu benshi batekereza ko ari ishyari, ariko mvugishije ukuri ndizera ko ari impungenge zamujugunye ku nkombe. Hamwe niyi myanya, ndumva twayihaye kaminuza ishaje gerageza, tukayimara ukwezi. Kandi ntabwo ukwezi gusa… ariko ukwezi kugerageza rwose gutuma ikibanza gikomeza kuba cyiza. Ariko nubwo twashyizeho imihati, hari ukwezi k'umwana wanjye w'imyaka ibiri kutubahirizwa rwose, kandi kubwibyo, inzu yose yararangiye. Ikibabaje nuko twari tuzi ko tudashobora gukomeza.
Hamwe nibi bibazo byombi, umutima wanjye wababaye, haba kubana barera ariko no kubwumuryango wanjye. Nari nzi ko atari amakosa yanjye rwose, kuko sinari nzi mbere yo gushyira ibizaba cyangwa uko ibintu bizagenda.
Ariko, nkuko nabivuze hejuru, ndizera ko hari "ubufasha" twashoboraga gushyira mubikorwa kugirango twirinde guhungabana (byibuze mubibanza byambere). Ariko, kubera ko ibi ari ibintu bikomeye, sinshaka kukurenga hamwe namakuru menshi cyane mu nyandiko imwe, bityo tuzaganira kuri izi nama nibikoresho mu nyandiko mu cyumweru gitaha.
Mubyukuri,
Kris