Rimwe na rimwe, umwana ashyirwa murugo kandi bisa nkaho ameze neza mumuryango. Ariko uko ibihe bigenda bisimburana, kandi ikibazo cye kigakina kandi akidegembya mu buryo bwemewe n’amategeko, umuryango wamurera ntiwamurera. Kuki? Nzi neza ko kubantu batarinjira mu isi irera, ibi birashobora kuba urujijo cyangwa bishobora kugutera kwibaza uko byagenze.
Nzaba inyangamugayo… ntabwo twigeze tugaragarizwa ikibazo umwana ushobora kurerwa yari iwacu kandi ntitwashoboye cyangwa guhitamo kutamurera. Ariko uburambe bwanjye kubwanjye, nzi ko rwose arikibazo kibaho murwego rwo kurera kuburyo nifuza gufata iminota mike yo kugikemura. Kandi mugihe ntashobora kukubwira neza ibyabaye muri buri kibazo, ndashobora kuguha byinshi bishoboka. Kandi komeza ingofero zawe, kuko haribenshi kandi ndimo ndondora bike muribi hano.
- Imiryango irera ntishaka kurera cyangwa guhitamo kutayirera kuko ntabwo aribyo bumva bayoboye gukora, byibuze mururwo rwego. Birashobora gusa nkaho umwana ameze neza, ariko harikintu gisiga umuryango udahangayitse. Akenshi uwo mwana azahita yimurirwa kurera kugirango arere urugo, cyane cyane niba basanzwe bafite uburenganzira bwo kurerwa.
- Rimwe na rimwe, ababyeyi barera bazi ko umwana azakenera kwitabwaho igihe kirekire… nko mu kurera kurenza imyaka 18 “isanzwe” y'umwana. Abana barashobora kugira imyitwarire, ibibazo byimibereho n amarangamutima cyangwa ibikenerwa byubuvuzi birenze ibyo urugo rurera rwumva rushobora gutanga mugihe kirekire. Umubare munini wabana banyura muburere ntibashobora na rimwe kubaho mu bwigenge bityo ababyeyi barera bahitamo kurenga kubakira abana basa nkaho bahuye niyi nkuru.
- Niba bareze umwana ufite amarangamutima menshi kandi / cyangwa ubuvuzi, bivuze ko batagomba gukomeza kurera kuko bo, nkababyeyi barera, badafite umurongo mugari (soma: umwanya wamarangamutima) kugirango bakomeze kubikora. Icyo nshaka kuvuga nuku: ihahamuka ryababyeyi, ibyo aribyo byose bisa murugo rwawe, bisaba igihe n'imbaraga nyinshi, kandi birashobora gusobanura kutongera gufata abandi bana barera kuko ntamasaha ahagije kumunsi kugeza tanga ubuvuzi bufite ireme kubana benshi bafite ibibazo byinshi.
- Ikindi kintu ni uko imitima yabo iyobowe no kwita kubana by'agateganyo. Kuri iki kibazo, birashoboka ko batazakira umwana urera. Rimwe na rimwe, ingo zirera zihitamo kutarera kuko kubikora bivuze ko bagomba gufunga uruhushya rwo kubarera space imyanya yabo yose yuzuye murugo. DCS izemerera gusa abana batandatu murugo. Noneho, niba kurera umwana, cyangwa itsinda ryabavandimwe, bigushyira kumyaka itandatu noneho ugomba kurangiza. Niba wumva biganisha kubarera, noneho kurerwa ntibishobora kuba inzira umanuka.
- Ibindi bihe, umuntu ufite umubano wa hafi, ariko ntabwo ari umubyeyi urera, yarangiza akakira umwana. Ibi birashobora kubamo ariko ntibigarukira gusa kumurera, umubyara, abandi babyeyi barera bafite inshuti nababyeyi barera umwana bashyizwemo, mubyara, umuturanyi, cyangwa umwarimu. Numuntu wahujwe neza numwana naho ubundi. Ibi ntibisanzwe ariko birashoboka ko bibaho kenshi kuruta uko wabitekereza.
- Umuryango wibinyabuzima (abagize umuryango mugari) urashobora kunyura kumunota wanyuma. Cyangwa ikindi gihe, urubanza rujya kurera aho kurerwa; iyo bahawe amahirwe yo kunga, ababyeyi bamwe babyaranye bafite ubushake bwo kwemera kurera kuruta guhagarika burundu uburenganzira bwo kurerwa.
- Umwana arashobora guhitamo kutarerwa kubera umubano afitanye numuryango we ubyara; ibi bibaho kenshi hamwe numwana mukuru. Ibi birashobora kuba kubera ko bigoye ko umwana mukuru atandukanya umubano numuryango we ubyara. Arashobora guhitamo kugumana numuryango urera hanyuma akinjira kurera igihe kirekire (LTFC); birashoboka cyane ko yamenyekanisha umuryango urera nkumuryango, ariko amasano yemewe nimiryango yibinyabuzima ntabwo yaciwe cyangwa ngo ahindurwe.
- Umwana mukuru ahitamo kuguma mubyitayeho kuko afite amaso kuri kaminuza. Abana muri sisitemu no kurangiza amashuri yisumbuye barashobora kubona infashanyo ya leta yo kwiga kaminuza. Niba byemejwe, amafaranga menshi arashobora / yakama.
- Umwana mukuru ntashobora kwerekeza muri kaminuza, ariko ahitamo kuguma muri sisitemu irenze impamyabumenyi kuko yamenyereye DCS imufasha kumwitaho. Hariho ihumure kubyo kubana bamwe bahitamo kuguma mubitaho no guhabwa serivisi zagutse kugeza basaza, mubisanzwe bafite imyaka 25.
- Ababyeyi barera barashobora gushyirwaho kugirango barere umwana ariko DCS yahisemo kugerageza guhuza itsinda ryabavandimwe hamwe. Kurugero, barumuna batatu bashyizwe mumazu atatu atandukanye. Aho kugira ngo buri nzu yemererwe kurerwa, DCS (cyangwa umucamanza) yemeje ko ari inyungu z’abana guhurira hamwe mu rugo rumwe. Urwo rugo rushobora cyangwa ntirushobora kuba imwe mumazu atatu yumwimerere.
Hanyuma, imwe mu mpamvu zikomeye zituma abana barerwa batakirwa ni ukubera ko akenshi ababyeyi barera binjira muburere bafite ibyifuzo bidashoboka. Bashimishijwe cyane no kwinjira mu "mukino" bagatangira gufasha, ariko birashoboka ko badashyira mu gaciro nkuko byakagombye kuba ku ngaruka z’ihungabana ku mwana nicyo cyaba gisa no kuba munsi yinzu yabo. Bashobora gutekereza bati: "Ibi bizaba bitangaje! Tugiye gushyira abana bamwe natwe tugiye kubafasha kandi ibintu byose bizagenda neza noneho tuzabarera. ”
Kandi ibyo akenshi ntabwo aribyo.
Rimwe na rimwe, umwana n'ababyeyi barera ntibahuza cyangwa ngo bahuze neza. Rimwe na rimwe, ababyeyi barera bafite imyizerere ibanziriza umwana mwiza, ariko umwana ushyizwe hamwe ntabwo azigera abaho neza. Kandi kenshi cyane, kurera ntibibaho.
Ibi byose byavuzwe, umwana wambere (cyangwa uwakabiri, uwagatatu cyangwa uwa kane) washyizwe hamwe nawe ntashobora kuba umwana urera… kubwimpamvu zose.
Ndangije gusa gushishikariza ibishoboka byose (nibiriho, niba bishoboka) ababyeyi barera kugira ngo bafungure ibitekerezo mugihe bafata umwanya. Umwana wese (uko aje mumuryango wawe… nukuvuka, kurera, kubana, kurera, nibindi) agiye kugira inenge. Nta mwana utunganye. Ndashishikarizamo ibitekerezo bifunguye n'umutima ufunguye, hanyuma nkimanika kugendana aho kurera bigutwara.
Mubyukuri,
Kris