Uyu munsi, ndashaka kuvuga gato kubana baza kwitabwaho no kugira uburambe bushya. Ibi bizaba kuri BURI WESE. UMUNTU.FOSTER.UMWANA. Nta mwana uza kwitabwaho ngo agere murugo rurera rusa nurugo rwumuryango wabo.
Hazabaho rero ibintu byinshi umwana atigeze ahura nabyo kera. Kandi kugirango ngufashe kumva icyo bivuze, ngiye kubasaba ko mukora bike.
Tekereza ku gihe wagiye ahantu utigeze uba mbere. Kandi wagombaga kugenda wenyine. Kandi birashoboka ko utari uzi byinshi (niba hari icyo) kubyerekeye aho ugiye. Nigute ibyo byaguteye kumva (cyangwa niba udashobora gutekereza kumwanya nkuyu, utekereza ute ko BYAKWIGIRA)? Kuri njye, ndetse no gutekereza kubintu nkibyo, bituma umutima wanjye utangira gukubita vuba vuba ntangira gutekereza kuri "stratégie yo gusohoka," mbere yuko njya no kugera ikirenge mu cyanjye.
Ndatahura ko kuri bamwe muri mwebwe bari hanze, ntibyakubangamira byibuze kujya ahantu hashya, hamwe namakuru ya zeru mbere yigihe; kubwintego yiyi myitozo rero, gerageza kwiyumvisha ko byagutera guhangayika. Kubandi mwese, nkanjye, ntabwo bizaba birambuye kwiyumvisha ubwoba; Ndashobora kwemeza rwose ko nagira ubwoba bwinshi.
Noneho… ni bangahe bigomba gutera impungenge umwana winjira?
Dore urundi rugero kuri wewe: natwe dufite uburambe bushya igihe cyose dusuye ahantu runaka tutigeze tubaho mbere. Niba tujya ahantu hashya, hashobora kuba ibiryo bitandukanye, imico, imyambaro, imyitwarire, ururimi cyangwa imvugo cyangwa imvugo… ibintu byose bishoboka.
Ariko mubisanzwe aha hantu harahantu duhitamo, sibyo?
Mu buryo busa rero, ariko buracyavuguruzanya cyane, iyo umwana yinjiye murugo rurera, (kandi ntabwo bizaba ahantu umwana ahitamo, birashoboka cyane), hazaba hari ibitandukanye nabyo. Niba turi inyangamugayo, birashoboka ko hari ibintu byinshi bitandukanye. Birashobora kuba uburyo urugo runuka, ibiryo urya, ururimi ukoresha, uburyo ufatana, amategeko yawe cyangwa ibyo witeze, uburyo ukoresha / ufata TV cyangwa umuziki, cyangwa guhuza ibyo aribyo byose cyangwa byose byavuzwe haruguru .
Kandi cyane nkawe, murugendo kurugero, hagomba kubaho icyumba gito cyubuntu cyo kwiga "imigenzo" yahantu hashya; kurugero, uramutse usuye igihugu aho imodoka zitwarwa hakurya yumuhanda, twizere ko uzabona "beep beep" nkeya mumahembe yimodoka, aho kugirango wirukane hejuru yambere (cyangwa niyo ya kabiri cyangwa gatatu) igihe wibagiwe kureba neza kabiri mbere yo kwambuka umuhanda. Muburyo bumwe, ntushobora kwitega ko umwana urera amenya byose. Cyangwa mvugishije ukuri, ikintu icyo ari cyo cyose… bashoboye bate, niba (bigaragara ko) ari umwana, bahahamutse kubera kwimurwa mu rugo rwabo, kandi ni shyashya rwose?
Kandi bitandukanye no gutembera, nta gitabo kiyobora umwana. Ntibashobora gusoma umuryango wawe mbere yigihe (cyangwa na gato) kandi bazi icyo ugomba gutegereza nibagera.
Baguruka bahumye.
Kandi niyo baba barigeze kurera mbere, ntibisobanuye ko urugo rwawe rumeze nkurugo rwabanje. Amahirwe arahari, bizaba bitandukanye, kuberako imiryango itandukanye… niyo isa nkaho, hejuru, nkaho yaba isa.
Ibyo byose bivuze, tegereza ko hazabaho umurongo wo kwiga kumwana winjira murugo rwawe kandi ntutegereze ko bazamenya amategeko yose (niba ahari) mumategeko kuva mbere.
Ariko ntugahangayike… hari ibintu bimwe na bimwe ushobora gukora kugirango ubafashe kubikemura utabanje kumva ko bakumiriwe. Ahari kugira "ikimenyetso" gitanga amwe mumategeko "yo murugo." Cyangwa byibuze “binini”.
Mugihe ubahaye kuzenguruka urugo, biragaragara rero ko bazi aho ibintu biri, wenda ukavuga amategeko abiri uteganya ko bakurikiza, ariko uzigame "urutonde rwose" mugihe cyakera. Ntukabakubite icyarimwe icyarimwe kuko (a) birashoboka ko bashutswe cyane kandi (b) ntabwo bagiye kubyibuka byose, bishobora kugutera gusa gucika intege (hamwe) nyuma.
Ikindi gitekerezo nuko nibyiza hakiri kare (ariko birashoboka ko atari kumunsi wo kuhagera) bagira "inama yumuryango" bakaganira kubyo buri wese ategereje. Ibintu bizaganirwaho harimo (ariko ntibigarukira gusa) ukora kumesa, ni kangahe abana bategerejwe koga / kwiyuhagira, igihe cyo kuryama, igihe cyo kwerekana igihe cyemewe, nibindi kandi urebe neza ko ushiramo ibiryo mu nama … Ibiryo buri gihe bisa nkaho bituma inama ziba nziza, sibyo? Niba kandi ushobora gufungura ibiganiro kubijyanye nibikwiye kuri buri mwana, witondere gutega amatwi umwana urera kandi ubifate nkuko wabishaka undi mwana murugo.
Hanyuma, uko iminsi / ibyumweru bigenda bisimburana, ushobora kwitonda (kurekera kuruhande… utari imbere yabandi kuko nta mpamvu yo kongera ipfunwe muruvange) komeza umwana mubyo ategereje murugo… ibyo bafite. wibagiwe, cyangwa ayo wananiwe kuvuga. Cyangwa ibishya ubona ko ugomba gushyiraho ibyiza bya buri wese murugo.
Ibyo byose byo kuvuga: Ndagutera inkunga yo gutanga ubuntu, uko ubishoboye, kumwana mushya murugo rwawe kandi agishakisha amategeko n'ibiteganijwe. Iki nikigihe kitoroshye kuri mwese, ariko cyane cyane umwana, kubwibyo byose ushobora gukora kugirango woroshye iyo mihangayiko kuri bo ntabwo bizamura imibereho rusange gusa, ahubwo bizanatanga amahirwe yo kwizirika.
Mubyukuri,
Kris