Mu nyandiko yanjye iheruka, navuze ku gushaka inshuti nkurikije umwana urera. Reka rero tuvuge kubyerekeye gushaka inshuti mugihe turi ababyeyi barera.
Kuki ibi byakenerwa kuba ikintu? Ntabwo abantu batubereye inshuti badashobora gukomeza kuba inshuti zacu? Rwose… icyakora, urugendo rwababyeyi barera ntakintu nakimwe (cyangwa birashoboka ko nawe) nigeze gukora kandi haribintu bijyanye mubyukuri abandi babyeyi barera gusa bazabyumva: ubwoko butandukanye bwababyeyi akenshi busaba, kwigunga rimwe na rimwe bibaho, intimba yo guhura, rollercoaster yamarangamutima irashobora kuzana, nibishobora gutwikwa… kuvuga amazina make.
Noneho ubu tumaze kubona ko dukeneye izindi nshuti zababyeyi barera, turashobora kujya kubashakira ntakibazo? Muraho reka tuvugishe ukuri… gushaka inshuti nkumuntu mukuru birashobora kugorana ubwabyo. Ntabwo byanze bikunze ufite uwo mwuka utagira impungenge nkuko wabigize nkumwana kumikino. Ntidushobora gusaba umuntu mukuru guhindagura gusa kuri swingi cyangwa gukina umukino wa tagi. Birasa nkaho ari "imbyino" zidasanzwe; Ndakeka ko abantu bakuru bahwanye basaba umuntu kubona ikawa.
Kandi ndatahura ko ibyo byose bishobora kuba arinjye gusa, ariko no gusaba umuntu gufata ikawa kugirango ayimenye birashobora rwose kumva ushaka kwishyira hanze. Noneho niba wongeyeho urwego rwo kurera kurera, ugashaka inshuti zumva (atari abashaka kubyumva gusa cyangwa bisa nkibyiza rwose), ibyo byongera ingorane zo kubona ubucuti bwiza.
HANYUMA ongeraho muri caveat yo gushaka abantu bababyeyi nkuko ubikora murugendo rwo kurera. Niba uri shyashya kuri ibi ukaba utarigeze ugira aho ushyira cyangwa ukaba uherutse gufata umwanya wawe wa mbere, ntushobora kumenya ko kurera umwana urera mubisanzwe bidashobora kuba kimwe no kurera umwana ubyara. Ntabwo rwose ndi umuhanga muburyo ubwo aribwo bwose, ariko maze igihe gito ndi hafi yibi bintu kandi nasanze kuba umuntu ari umubyeyi urera ntibisobanura ko tugiye guhitamo kimwe nababyeyi muri inzira imwe.
Kurugero, niba warasomye inyandiko zanjye zabanjirije iyi, urashobora kumenya ko twahisemo kujya muburyo bwose bwo kwizerana (TBRI); ntabwo ari kubarera / kurerwa gusa nubwo, ariko abana bacu bose (birashoboka, kandi bigomba kubwanjye, gukoreshwa kubana bose). Ndetse nkoresha TBRI kumugabo wanjye rimwe na rimwe. Ariko ntabwo abantu bose bahitamo gukoresha TBRI. Kandi birumvikana ko ari byiza rwose. Ntabwo nshaka kuvuga ibi nkurubanza, bivuze gusa ko bishoboka cyane ko ntazagira isano (cyangwa ikomeye cyane ihuza) nababyeyi barera niba tutari kurupapuro rumwe.
Noneho ibimaze kuvugwa byose: nigute umuntu agenda ashakisha izindi nshuti zababyeyi barera bahuza neza nibyo duhitamo? Icyifuzo cyanjye gikomeye nukujya ahantu abandi babyeyi barera bazaba. Icyambere: baza ikigo cyawe! Firefly ifite ababyeyi benshi barera kandi ndabizeza niba ubasabye kugufasha kuguhuza nabandi babyeyi barera bahuje ibitekerezo, bazishimira kubikora! Nabonye umwe mubakunzi nkunda mama barera murubu buryo!
Urashobora kandi kubabona ukoresheje amatsinda yo gushyigikira. Ibi birashobora kuba mubyukuri cyangwa kumuntu. Cyangwa byombi. Jya mu nama cyangwa amahugurwa cyangwa amahugurwa ya sasita yakiriwe n'ikigo cyawe cyangwa indi miryango; jya mubintu byose ushobora kubona abantu bahuje ibitekerezo. Niba uri ku mbuga nkoranyambaga, shakisha amatsinda yo gushyigikira kumurongo.
Na none ku mbuga nkoranyambaga, ushyireho uduce duto twurugendo rwawe kurupapuro rwawe bwite uzunguza “amabendera” make kugirango ubwire inshuti ibyo urimo ukora nuburyo ubikora… bishobora gushushanya mubandi udatanga. ' ndetse nzi ko bari murugendo. Cyangwa inshuti n'umuryango uzi abandi babyeyi barera bazaguhuza nabo. Nanjye ubwanjye nagize amasano menshi ashimishije binyuze mu nshuti z'inshuti cyangwa inshuti z'umuryango. Uvugishije ukuri ntushobora kumenya uburyo nigihe umubano ushobora kubaho… ariko nanone ugomba kubishakisha. Nkuko hamwe ninshuti zababyeyi batarera, ntibizabaho nta mbaraga.
Kandi ikintu cya nyuma ndashaka kuvuga kugirango ngushishikarize gushaka ubu bucuti, kuko burashobora kuba symbiotic: ntushobora kumenya uwo ushobora gufasha no gushyigikira murugendo rwabo. Ntabwo nzi neza uwo nkwiye gushimira, ariko natekereje kuri iki gitekerezo inshuro nyinshi mumyaka: uburambe bwawe bushobora kurangira kuba ubuzima bwabandi.
Nkuko nabivuze mbere, ntamuntu numwe ushobora kubikora wenyine… ntushobora kuba umubyeyi urera muri silo. Nibyiza, urashobora, bizagenda bigorana cyane, kandi ntamuntu ukeneye kurera kurera bigoye.
Mubyukuri,
Kris