Ntabwo rwose bizadutangaza ko iyo ubaye umubyeyi urera, igihe cyawe kirangira ugabanijwe ndetse kuruta mbere hose. Kandi rero, ugomba kwitonda mukurinda igihe cyawe nigihe cyumuryango wawe; gufasha hamwe nibyo, uzakenera gushiraho (cyangwa kwiga gushiraho) imipaka nzima, ifatika.
Ababyeyi barera naganiriye bafite ibintu bike byo kuvuga kuriyi ngingo. Batatu muri bo barabikoze. Nubwo rero nkunze kuvuga gusa umubyeyi umwe kuri buri ngingo, iki gihe navuze bitatu, kuko ingingo zabo zifite ishingiro kandi bavuga bivuye kuburambe:
“Menya neza ko 'Oya' yawe bisobanura oya iyo bigeze kuri gahunda yawe no gusura ibihe. Kunganira umwanya wumuryango wawe kandi urinde! Nta muntu n'umwe muri 'sisitemu' uzinjira ngo asubize umuryango wawe hamwe bityo ugomba gushyira umuryango wawe imbere. ”
“Nibyiza kunganira gahunda z'umuryango wawe kandi ukeneye…. ni byiza kuvuga ko ikintu kitazagenda neza cyangwa ukeneye ikindi gihe. ”
"Icyampa nkamenya ibijyanye na flexible ukeneye na gahunda yawe… Ntabwo nari niteguye kugira abantu benshi munzu no hanze yanjye… kandi benshi muribo (cyane cyane kubibazo byacu byambere) ntibasaga. wubahe cyane igihe cyacu cyangwa gahunda. ”
Ibimaze kuvugwa byose, ingingo yaya magambo ni iyi: Menya neza ko ushyira imbere umuryango wawe igihe ubishoboye. Kandi twese tuzemera kubuntu: Mubyukuri biragoye kubona iyo mpirimbanyi, cyane cyane mugitangiriro cyo gushyira; ariko ugomba kunganira wenyine kurwego runaka.
Noneho ushobora kwibaza uti: kuki iyi miryango ikora ibintu byinshi cyane kubyingenzi? Ntabwo dushaka gufasha abana gusa? Kuki tugomba gushyira umuryango wacu imbere?
Nibyiza, ikibabaje, birasa nkaho ari bike cyane kugirango umuryango wawe udashyirwa imbere, kuruhande rwa DCS, sura abagenzuzi, abatwara abantu cyangwa undi wese. Byumvikane neza, icyambere gihabwa ababyeyi babyaranye, hamwe nabana no kubitaho, birumvikana. Ninshingano za DCS (hanyuma hanyuma iz'abashoramari: sura abagenzuzi, abavuzi, abatwara, nibindi).
Kandi ntiwumve, abana barera ni inshingano zawe (nk'ababyeyi barera) kimwe… ariko n'umuryango wawe bwite kandi ni byiza. Sinzi neza impamvu ibi, ariko rimwe na rimwe abashinzwe imibereho myiza y'uru rubanza bazagutera kumva ko atari byiza gushyira imbere umuryango wawe, ariko ni.
Ndaguhaye uburenganzira bwo gushyira imbere umuryango wawe, mugihe ukeneye umuntu ubivuga.
Noneho… ntabwo buri gihe TOP yibanze… ariko byibuze wemerere umuryango wawe gukora URUTONDE rwibanze. Ntabwo bivuze ko ugomba kuba ingorabahizi cyangwa izuru rikomeye mugihe umugenzuzi wasuye agerageza guhindura gahunda, cyangwa niba DCS ishaka kongeramo gusurwa cyangwa ikindi kintu. Niba ushobora gusubira inyuma ugasuzuma mubitekerezo niba ibyo basaba ari ikibazo kinini, ushobora kubona ko atari ikibazo kubyakira. Kandi burigihe burigihe, impinduka zitezimbere mubyukuri gahunda yo kurera murugo.
Igihe kirenze kandi hamwe nuburambe, uzamenya guhitamo intambara zawe kandi umenye igihe cyo kuvuga oya, igihe cyo kuzunguruka, nigihe cyo gutanga ubuntu. Rimwe na rimwe, mu byukuri ntabwo byoroshye kugira uruzinduko rwiyongereye ruteganijwe, cyangwa igihe cyo gusura cyahindutse… ariko iyo ari ikintu nkumunsi wumubyeyi, cyangwa Noheri, ndagutera inkunga yo kugerageza kwibuka ko bitakureba gusa. Kandi igihe bishoboka, jya.
Iyo winjiye muburere, ugomba kumva ko abantu bose babigizemo uruhare (wowe, umwana, ababyeyi babyaranye, DCS, nabandi bose) birashoboka ko bagiye kubikora “kunama”; ni gake umuntu azabona ibintu neza nkuko abishaka. Kandi byemewe, ababyeyi barera akenshi bagomba kunama cyane. Ariko ibyo ntibisobanura ko udashobora kwihagararaho wenyine. Ntushobora (birashoboka ko utazabona) kubona ibyo usaba byose, ariko ntugomba kwemerera kuba umuryango wumuryango. Urashobora kwihagararaho kubintu bimwe na bimwe, cyane cyane mubijyanye no kubungabunga umuryango muzima.
Mubyukuri,
Kris