Kurera rero (kandi mubyukuri ubuzima muri rusange) bwuzuyemo uburyo butandukanye bwo guhangana. Nkumubyeyi urera, ushobora gusanga ufite bimwe (kandi niyo utabona "ugasanga" ibyo ukora, amahirwe urashobora kuba… kuko kuba umubyeyi urera biragoye kandi twese dufite inzira zo guhangana nihungabana.)
Ariko ntabwo aribyo rwose naje hano kuganira uyu munsi. Ndashaka kuvuga kubijyanye nuburyo bwo guhangana dushobora kubona mubana barerwa, nuburyo dushobora * kubafasha * guhindura izo ngeso mbi muburyo bwiza. Ntabwo bisobanutse neza ko tuzabigeraho, ariko nashakaga kuguha inama ninzira byibuze kugerageza.
Twese tuzi ko kiddo zitaweho zirimo guhangana nibibazo bidasanzwe… ndetse birenze kuba umubyeyi urera (ibyo nabyo birahangayitse, nkuko ushobora kuba ubizi): gusiga ibintu byose nabantu bose uzi, birashoboka ko wasize inyuma ibyo utunze byose, kubana nabanyamahanga bose, kujya mwishuri rishya, kugendana nundi muntu utazi kugeza no gusura umuryango wawe ukomokamo, ndetse no gutandukana nabandi bavukana murugo (haba buri cyumweru cyangwa ukwezi). Ibyo ni bike mubintu umwana urera ashobora kuba arimo gukemura.
Ingaruka zizo mpinduka zitunguranye mubuzima bwe, umwana arashobora kuba (soma: birashoboka cyane) kubabara, kwiheba, guhangayika, cyangwa guhuza bitatu. Kandi nubwo barimo kunyura mumarangamutima menshi, haracyari "igihe cyukwezi" murugo rushya. Umwana akenshi azubahiriza, afasha, umugwaneza, wubaha, nibindi. Ubu nuburyo bwo kwirwanaho, ariko ntibushobora kumara igihe kirekire nkicyiciro gikurikira cyumubabaro.
Kandi ibyo byiyumvo, nkuko ushobora kuba utabizi, birashobora kugaragara nkibindi bintu byinshi (harimo ariko ntibigarukira kuri ibi bikurikira):
- guhakana
- kutizera
- agahinda
- ubusa
- kwigunga (ibi cyane cyane niba bidakuwe kubabyeyi gusa ahubwo bitandukanijwe nabavandimwe)
- icyaha (barashobora kumva ko bafite inshingano nubwo atari amakosa yabo)
- uburakari
- inzika
- ubwoba
- guhangayika
Nkurugero, dukunze gukoresha imvugo "umusazi arashobora kumera nkuwababaje" murugo rwacu. Igihe kinini cyane, ntitwashoboye kumenya impamvu umwana wacu yarakariye ibintu… kugeza umunsi umwe twabonye (kubwimpanuka) ko "umusazi" we, mubyukuri, "birababaje". Guhindura umukino.
Kugirango rero ujyane nizo nyiyumvo z'akababaro, kwiheba cyangwa guhangayika, dore bumwe mu buryo bwo guhangana n’ubuzima bwiza ushobora kutabona cyangwa udashobora kubona uhereye kuri kiddo yawe (biragaragara ko hari byinshi… biragaragara ko atari urutonde rwuzuye):
- tangira kunywa itabi cyangwa kunywa itabi byinshi,
- tangira kunywa inzoga cyangwa kunywa byinshi,
- tangira gufata ibiyobyabwenge cyangwa gufata byinshi,
- urusimbi,
- gukoresha amafaranga menshi,
- kwiba,
- kwiyangiza,
- kugabanya cyangwa guhambira no guhanagura ibiryo,
- kurya cyane,
- gusinzira cyane cyangwa bidahagije,
- no kumva utwarwa no kugira "adrenalin rush" hamwe nibikorwa bibi
Ubu… Ntabwo ndi umuhanga ariko nasomye byinshi kubyerekeye ihahamuka kandi nabanye iwanjye imyaka irenga 10. Ariko icyifuzo cyanjye cyo gufasha umwana gukora mubibazo bimwe na bimwe ni Kwizera gushingiye ku mibanire (TBRI). Niba utamenyereye TBRI, ndagusaba kwiga amasomo yo guhanuka. Amashyirahamwe amwe atanga verisiyo ngufi y'amahugurwa. Urashobora gukora amasaha 7+ yuzuye y'amahugurwa ukoresheje urubuga rwemewe niba ubishaka cyane. Urashobora kubona videwo kuri YouTube izagufasha kumva neza amahame shingiro. Soma cyangwa wumve igitabo cyamajwi cya "Umwana uhujwe" na David R. Cross, Karyn B. Purvis, na Wendy Lyons Sunshine. Ubundi buryo bwo kubireba ni ugukoresha ikintu cyitwa "kurera-kurera kurera" (mubyukuri ngiye gukemura mu nyandiko yanjye itaha, komeza ukurikirane byinshi!).
Umurongo w'urufatiro: shyira imbere umubano n'umwana. Niba umwana arwana, ntukabasunike mucyumba cyabo… ubakwegere (ntabwo byanze bikunze kumubiri, bishobora kuba bidakwiriye umwana wagize ihungabana) ariko ukomeze kubegera hafi yabo… mucyumba kimwe, uburiri bumwe, nibindi. Wifatanye nabo, aho kugirango witondere terefone yawe (ndabivuze kuberako kuri benshi muri twe, telefone nuburyo bwo kwisubiraho, "niba wongeye kubisubiramo," niba wongeye kubisubiramo, "niba wongeye kubisubiramo," noneho ntabwo ufasha… kandi birashoboka ko wangiza umubano.)
Byongeye kandi, tekereza gushaka itsinda ryunganira umwana wawe. Ntibashobora kuba biteguye (byibuze mu ntangiriro) kuvugana numuvuzi, ariko barashobora kuba biteguye kuvugana nabandi bana mubihe nkibi. Kubafasha kubona no kumva ko atari bonyine mu kababaro kabo birashobora kuba ingirakamaro cyane.
Nzi ko nashushanyije cyane kuri ibi kandi hari byinshi nshobora kugabana… ariko nashakaga kuguha umwanya wo gusimbuka ushobora gukora ubushakashatsi, ukurikije ibyo umwana wawe akwereka ko bakeneye.
Mubyukuri,
Kris