Mu nyandiko yuyu munsi, nongeye gukora ku mitsi isa (ariko itandukanye rwose) yo kudashidikanya… gusa iki gihe nzaganira ku kuntu bimeze ku rubanza.
Nkuko ushobora cyangwa utabizi, mugihe wemeye gushyira umwana murugo, ntushobora, na rimwe, kumenya igihe bazamara. Nubwo umukozi ushinzwe urubanza avuga ati "ni icyumweru gusa" cyangwa "nta kuntu ibi bishobora kumara amezi atarenze 6"… burigihe bigomba guhinduka. Buri gihe.
Niyo mpamvu nyine imiryango myinshi irera isanga bigoye guteganya kure cyane ejo hazaza kuko hariho ukutamenya neza uko umwana azabaho. Nka: Azakomeza kuba hano? Bazimurirwa mu rundi rugo rurererwa rwiza / mbere yo kurera? Bazimurirwa ahashyizwe hamwe? Bazongera guhura? n'ibindi
Ibi bitekerezo bidashidikanywaho ntabwo bifite impamvu zifatika… umuntu ntashobora kumenya ubwoko bwo guhindura cyangwa guhindura urubanza bishobora gufata; kandi ugerageze uko dushoboye "kumenya" ibizaba, ntituzigera dukora neza kugeza igihe bibaye.
Kugirango gusa tumenye ko twese turi kurupapuro rumwe, ugomba kumenya ko abana bagera kuri 50% barerwa barangiza bakongera guhura nabarezi babo babanza (mubisanzwe ababyeyi umwe cyangwa bombi bavutse). Ariko, birashobora gufata amezi menshi cyangwa imyaka myinshi kugirango ibyo bibeho. Kubera iyo mpamvu, imiryango irera irashobora kumva isigaye muburyo bwo gufata mugihe bategereje kureba icyo abacamanza n'abavoka bazahitamo bifitiye inyungu umwana.
Amahitamo yagira ingaruka kumibereho yumwana (usibye guhura) harimo, ariko ntabwo bigarukira gusa: gushyirwa hamwe na bene wabo, uburenganzira bwababyeyi burangiye (bigatuma umwana yemererwa kurerwa), kwimukira murugo rwitsinda, agasigara arera , cyangwa gusaza kubera kurera (niba begereye bihagije 18 kugirango ibi bibeho).
Rimwe na rimwe, imiryango irera yakira byinshi byerekeranye nibizaba ejo hazaza (cyangwa ibizashoboka… ariko birumvikana ko umucamanza ashobora guhora atera umupira uteganijwe kurukiko). Mu bindi bihe, kwimuka birashobora kubaho vuba na / cyangwa muburyo butunguranye.
Kandi mugihe cyose cyurubanza, mubusanzwe hariho amatariki yurukiko, amanama, nimpinduka kuri gahunda (nukuvuga, kubana, kurera, kurera, nibindi)… bisobanura mubihe byinshi aho umwana ashobora kwimurirwa murugo. .
Kubera iyo mpamvu, ababyeyi barera akenshi usanga bari mumwanya utoroshye mugihe bateganya ejo hazaza: Bakora gahunda zigihe kizaza zirimo umwana urera? Ndetse bazaba bari hano kwitabira? Ndamugurira itike yindege kumuruhuko rwumuryango? Ndamusinyisha kumupira wamaguru? Ndamufata nkabana banje kandi nkabemerera inyungu yibikorwa bidasanzwe?
Yego rero… gukemura neza ikibazo kidashidikanywaho ni super-trick yo kuyobora… dore rero icyo nsaba kandi nicyo cyatunyuzemo: tegura gusa icyo ushaka gutegura; kandi ukore icyo ushaka gukora. Ubuzima ni bugufi cyane kugirango ushire ibintu byose kuruhuka kubera gusa "birashoboka." Gahunda igomba guhinduka kumunota wanyuma? Birashoboka. Urashobora gutakaza amafaranga kubintu waguze kumwana cyangwa kubiyandikisha, ariko ubu ntibazaba bahari? Birashoboka. Ese hazabaho gutenguha ugomba kugendana niba gahunda zihindutse? Birashoboka rero… kandi ibi ntabwo bizoroha hamwe hiyongereyeho urwego rwihungabana.
Ariko nikimenyetso kimwe: uzabona amahirwe yo kujya mubiruhuko nkumuryango (harimo nabana bashinzwe) niba utabiteguye (kuko utinya ko bidashoboka)? Oya… ntuzabikora. Ese umwana wawe urera azabona uburambe bwa siporo cyangwa club cyangwa ingando yo mu mpeshyi bishoboka ko aribwo bwa mbere (niba utekereza ko bashobora kuba badahari mugihe kizunguruka… kugirango utabiyandikisha)? Ntabwo rwose bazabikora.
Nibyo, rwose harikibazo kirimo, ariko cyane cyane mubyo dukora nkababyeyi barera ni ugushiraho umubano wizerana, kandi inzira nziza yo kubikora ni mubikorwa nkumuryango, kimwe nabandi bana. Niba udahawe amahirwe yo kubikora, ntushobora gukuramo umwana gusa… ahubwo ushobora no gushyira ubuzima bwawe kuruhuka mugihe ugenda utazi neza ukurera. Kandi ushobora gukora kugeza ryari (kandi ugomba)? Ntushobora kandi ntugomba… komeza rero utegure iyo gahunda… kuko utazi ibizaba!
Mubyukuri,
Kris