Kubice 3 bya "Icyo Nifuza ko Nabimenya" ni ijambo rimwe ryababyeyi barera: Ntugategereze cyane mubice byuburinganire bwababyeyi ba DCS, imyitwarire yababyeyi babyaranye, sura abagenzuzi / itumanaho ryabatwara… burigihe! Kugumya kwitega bike muri utwo turere bizagukiza intege nyinshi. ”
Rimwe na rimwe ni ibinini bisharira kumira, ariko kandi ni ukuri.
Niba utarajugunya ingofero yawe kuriyi mpeta, reka nsobanure icyo ashaka kuvuga. Mu gutangira urubanza, DCS n’Urukiko bazashyiraho ibiteganijwe ku babyeyi babyaranye. Rimwe na rimwe, ibipimo bitujujwe, ariko abana bazongera guhura. Ntabwo bibaho muri buri kintu; ariko bibaho, kandi biraganirwaho mumuryango urera kenshi.
Noneho, niba wowe, nkumubyeyi urera, jya mumwanya mushya kandi wumve ko bitakureba nawe; ariko, bijyanye nababyeyi babyara bakora ibishoboka byose kugirango batange urugo rukwiye kubana babo. Ibyo aribyo byose bigomba kubaho. Hashobora kubaho inzitizi zibuza ababyeyi (ababyeyi) kubahiriza ibipimo byashyizweho na DCS nurukiko, cyangwa birashoboka ko iterambere ritinda ariko rihamye. Nkuko urukiko rubibona, iterambere rishobora kuba rihagije kugirango abana basubire murugo, twizere ko bakomeza serivisi no kugenzura.
Kandi kuri piggy-back kuri ibyo, umva ko DCS "Bar of Expectation" kuri wewe nkumubyeyi urera irarenze cyane akabari k’ababyeyi ba bio. Inzu zirera zemewe zigengwa n'amategeko, amategeko, na politiki. Rero, uzategerejweho gukora byinshi, kandi ugumane kurwego rwo hejuru kurenza ababyeyi babyaranye.
Ibi birasa nkaho ari byiza? Oya REBA kurenganura. Ariko igice cyakabari kawe nukomeza ababyeyi barera hejuru yigitutsi. Leta hamwe n’ikigo cyawe gishinzwe gutanga impushya (Biro y’abana) barashaka ko abana barera bafite umutekano. Birumvikana ko bashaka kumenya ko abana bafite umutekano mugihe nabo batashye, ariko barashaka kumenya neza ko amazu bashyizwemo ari murwego rwo hejuru cyane. Mubisanzwe, ntibakunda kugira inkuru mumakuru yerekeye ingo zirera zidakwiye (cyangwa mbi!). Twese twabonye ayo makuru yamakuru kandi twumvise izo nkuru. Niyo mpamvu ababyeyi barera bafite izina ribi. Niyo mpamvu abantu badashaka kuba ababyeyi barera.
Ariko DCS iragerageza guhindura iyo mitekerereze yabaturage mugutezimbere cyane kurwego rwimiryango yabo irera. Niba rero, nkumubyeyi urera, ushobora kuzengurutsa ubwonko bwawe ko ntakintu cyihariye kandi kirenze kubijyanye no kurenza urugero kwisi yisi irera, uzishyiraho intsinzi. Hariho amatsinda n'amashyirahamwe y'ababyeyi barera (abenegihugu, leta, ndetse nabenegihugu) bateguye kunoza ireme ryita kubarera, amatsinda amwe akubiyemo icyerekezo cyizamuka kandi cyumwuga kubabyeyi barera.
Ibi birashobora gusobanura ko uzaba witezwe kujyana uruhinja kwa muganga w amenyo, nkuko nabigize. Umwana wanjye yari afite amenyo ya zeru kandi birashoboka ko atagiye kubona igihe gito. Ariko nyamara nagombaga kumujyana kwa muganga w'amenyo. Umubyeyi ubyara agomba kubikora? Oya rwose. Byari bisekeje. Ariko DCS yagerageje kwemeza ko ntanga ubuvuzi bwiza bushoboka kandi burimo no gusurwa. Nubwo byaba bivuze gahunda isebanya byari uguta igihe. Mvugishije ukuri, ntabwo nagize imitekerereze ikwiye iyo nayijemo kandi mvugishije ukuri, birashoboka ko nabyitondeye gato. Ariko nabikoze kuko nari nzi ko nkeneye. Amaherezo, nasanze bitarimo njye cyangwa uburyo bwiza cyangwa umukene wumubyeyi nari. Ryari rifitanye isano n’imyumvire y’abandi bantu barera, n’uruhare rwa DCS mu kwizeza neza abana bashinzwe.
Ikigeretse kuri ibyo, amagambo y'ababyeyi barera yavuzwe haruguru yavuze imyitwarire y'ababyeyi. Ugomba gusobanukirwa, kwinjira, ko abana barera isi baturuka bashobora kuba batandukanye nuwo ubamo. Kandi ibintu DCS yemerera ababyeyi babyaranye gukora bishobora kuba bitera ubwenge rimwe na rimwe. Cyangwa birashoboka ko batandukanye gusa nikintu ushobora gukora. Ntakibazo, ugomba kubireka. Nzi ko bizagorana kandi simbivuze byoroshye… kuko nahabaye. Nashavujwe, Natunguwe, Nagize umujinya mwinshi, kandi nabaye umucamanza ukomeye. Kandi nta na kimwe muri byo cyangaragaraga neza. Ntampamvu yo kumera gutya, kuko ntacyo byahinduye mubuzima bwanjye. Gusa nararakaye ko bafite akabari gake (reba igitekerezo cyanjye hejuru).
Ibyo byose rero kuvuga: jya kurenga uko ushoboye… kandi unyizere ubishaka; bisaba ingaruka kubuzima bwawe bwamarangamutima niba utabikora.
Kandi ingingo ye ya nyuma yari ifitanye isano n'itumanaho riva kubashinzwe gusura / gusura abatwara. Gusa rero komeza kandi NTIBITEGURE guhora umenya igihe umwana azatorerwa gusurwa, igihe uruzinduko ruzamara cyangwa igihe umwana azagarukira. Kuberako umubano nawe hamwe nu mucungamutungo ushobora gutangira neza, hamwe nawe akubwira ibihe nibindi. Ariko ibintu biraza kandi aracyari kare. Cyangwa bitinze. Cyangwa uruzinduko rwagombaga kugabanywa, bityo utegerejwe kuba murugo; niyo waba udafite igitekerezo. Impamvu zitabarika zigira ingaruka ku bwikorezi (niba butanzwe) kandi umuryango usura ubwawo.
Ibyo mvuga hano byose ni "guhinduka"… niyo mantra yose yo kurera uko byagenda kose. Urimo kubona ubwo butumwa mu nyandiko zanjye kugeza ubu? Jya uhinduka kandi ntukemere ko amababa yawe ahindagurika. Nibyo, birababaje cyane, ariko niba ushobora kubireka bikakuzunguruka aho kubyinjizamo (nkuko nabigize… Nzaba inyangamugayo), noneho uzaba ahantu heza… cyane cyane gufasha umwana kugenga asubiye murugo rwawe (Nabiganiriyeho mu nyandiko ibanza). Niba warakoze kubyerekeye abatwara batinze, umwana azabimenya, kandi bizagira ubushobozi bwo guhungabanya igare rya pome yose. Gusa rero ntukore nibyo ndimo gutera inkunga.
Ibyo kuvuga byose, aya magambo yababyeyi barera arahari. Nukugabanya ibyo witeze kubandi bose murubanza. Uzagumishwa kurwego rwo hejuru kurenza abandi "bakinnyi" muri uno mukino. Ariko ntabwo ari ibyawe. Gusa ugume mumurongo wawe ureke abandi bose bagume mubyabo. Gukorera hamwe no kugira imbabazi hamwe nabandi bizagera kure kandi bitange umusanzu mubyiza.
Mubyukuri,
Kris