{"id":9703,"date":"2021-08-19T19:50:17","date_gmt":"2021-08-19T19:50:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childrensbureau.org\/?p=9703"},"modified":"2025-02-25T12:05:52","modified_gmt":"2025-02-25T17:05:52","slug":"kris-corner-working-through-death-and-a-funeral","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/rw\/resources\/news-library\/kris-corner-working-through-death-and-a-funeral\/","title":{"rendered":"Kris 'Inguni- Gukora mu rupfu no gushyingura"},"content":{"rendered":"

Noneho, reka tuganire kumunota umwe kubyerekeye abana bava ahantu habi bahura nurupfu. Ikigaragara ni uko umwana uwo ari we wese urera yagize igihombo\u2026 bitewe gusa nuko atakiri mu muryango we. Gukuraho, ubwabyo, ni igihombo kandi birababaje, nubwo ibintu bitari byiza cyangwa umutekano.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Itandukaniro nuko kumwanya wo kwitabwaho igihombo mubisanzwe ni icyumuntu ukiriho. Ugh\u2026 reka ibyo.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kubwibyo, kubwibyo, urupfu rushobora kuba amayeri yo kuyobora kuko arikindi gihombo kumwana umaze guhura nigihombo kinini. Icyo ndagushishikariza kuzirikana nuko urupfu rudashobora kuzana intimba gusa muri iki gihombo ubwacyo, gishobora no kuba imbarutso\u2026 kwibutsa ibindi bihombo byose yagize mu buzima bwe. Ibyo byavuzwe, intimba ku rupfu biragaragara ko itandukanye nintimba yo kubura abantu bakiriho. Ariko ni agahinda byose. Kandi bitewe nuko abana barera, cyangwa abarezwe, bafite\u00a0<\/span>\u201c<\/span>imiryango ibiri, \u201dbyongera cyane ko umwana agira urupfu no kubura.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kuvuga ibigaragara hano, ariko birashobora kuba umuryango wibinyabuzima, birashobora kuba umuryango urera cyangwa urera, cyangwa inshuti yumuryango. Ariko urupfu ruzaza mugihe runaka nuburyo ubikemura kandi ubyitwaramo bizagira ingaruka kuburyo umwana abasha kuyobora.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Mugihe umuhungu wanjye yari arera, ntabwo byigeze bitubera ikibazo. Yari afite imyaka ibiri mugihe cyo kurerwa kandi mbere yabyo twashyinguye umuryango umwe, wabaye akiri uruhinja. Ariko twari mumazi mashya mumezi make ashize ngomba kumubwira ibyurupfu rwumwe mubaturanyi bacu.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Yari amaze umwaka n'igice arwanya kanseri, maze abona impinduka muri we (birumvikana ko umutwe w\u2019umuhondo ari cyo kimenyetso cye gikomeye, ariko) ntabwo yari azi neza ibibaye. Nagerageje, icyo gihe, kugirango ibintu bidasobanutse uko nshoboye, nsubiza gusa ibibazo yari afite; twavuze kuri kanseri kandi ko rimwe na rimwe yatumaga abantu barwara rimwe na rimwe bagapfa. Ariko ibyo kubera ko umuntu yarwaye kanseri ntabwo bivuze ko BAPFU.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ibyumweru bike mbere yuko biba, nari nzi ko biza. Ariko sinamuteguye. Sinari nzi icyo gukora cyangwa kuvuga nuko ntabizi; urebye neza, birashoboka ko atari inzira nziza. Ntiyari hafi ye cyane, ariko kubera ko yabaga hakurya y'umuhanda, bakundaga kubonana no kuzunguruka. Kubera ko yari azi ibihano bye bidasanzwe, yahoraga amugurira umufuka munini wa bombo idasanzwe kuri Halloween. Yakomeje kumuha ibyokurya bidasanzwe kuri we gusa igihe yazaga akavuza inzogera ye agasaba umwe. Rero, nubwo batari hafi, yari afite umwanya wihariye mumutima we, na we mubye.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Igihe namubwiraga ko yapfuye, uko yabyitwayemo bwa mbere byari ibintu bidasanzwe. Ariko maze kumenya gahunda yo gushyingura no gusurwa, ntangira kumutegurira ibyo, ararakara; Nari nzi ko azabitunganya ariko nagize ikibazo cyo kumutera kuvuga mu byiyumvo bye (uko byagenda kose ntabwo ari umwambaro we ukomeye, kandi agahinda ntikamugirira neza). Mugihe twaganiraga, nashoboye kumukuramo ko yasaze kubera ko yari amaze igihe kitari gito yonsa\u2026 Nari nzi ko ari ukubera ko yari arwaye kandi ko kugura amashereka adasanzwe atari byo byashyizwe imbere.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ariko kuri we byari ngombwa kandi nuburyo bari guhuza\u2026 kandi mubitekerezo bye, yari yaramuretse. Yabizanye inshuro nyinshi muminsi mike yakurikiyeho kugeza ubwo nashoboye kumwumva ko arwaye, kandi ko yashakaga kumushakira ibimworoga ariko ntashobora kujya mububiko kuko yari arembye cyane. Icyo gihe aroroha, ntiyongera kubivuga.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Igihe namubwiraga ko tugiye kujya gusurwa, mbere yo gushyingura (ntabwo twitabiriye umuhango wo gushyingura ubwawo\u2026 Nabonye ko nahawe amahirwe yo gutera intambwe hamwe na we kuri ibi bityo ngiye kubikora gusa ko). Nasobanuye ibyo aribyo, ariko yemeza ko adashaka kugenda. Byinshi muri ibyo bisubizo, ndakeka, byatewe nuko ahora akunda kuba "mubumenyi" kandi kubera ko nsobanura ibizaba, ntabwo buri gihe bimusobanurira "kumenya \/ gusobanukirwa \/ gutekereza" ibizaba koko kandi amaganya ye arashira.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ariko nyuma y'ibiganiro byinshi byerekeranye nuko bizaba bimeze, hanyuma maze gusobanura ko hazaba amashusho menshi yo kureba, kandi ko umugabo we nabakobwa bazaba bahari, amaherezo yemeye kugenda.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Birumvikana ko atashakaga guca kumurongo, kandi sinamugize. Yashakaga kureba ku mashusho, kandi yashakaga kwicara kuri sofa yari yegereye isanduku nk'uko yabishobora, ariko hakiri metero nyinshi.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hanyuma, byose yarabyinjiyemo.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Yitegereje abantu, yitegereza indabyo, abaza ibibazo byinshi, nka, iyo yerekanaga isanduku,<\/span>\u00a0\u201c<\/span>Ese bagiye gufunga iyo nyoni igihe bayishyinguye? \u201d\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kubwamahirwe, ibyo ntibyari byumvikane bihagije kugirango undi muntu wese yumve, ariko mugihe uri mushya gupfa kandi imihango yose n'imihango dufite, birashoboka ko uzagira ibibazo. Nari nzi ko ibyo byamuteguriraga gusa urugo rwegereye urugo rwurupfu, nkumuntu mumuryango cyangwa umuntu yari azi neza.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hanyuma mu nzira murugo niho haje umwuzure wibibazo. Umuryango wacu, ku giti cye, wemera Ijuru bityo akaba yari afite ibibazo byinshi byerekeranye nuburyo umuturanyi wacu ashobora "kuryama muri ako gasanduku kandi akabera mu Ijuru icyarimwe."<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ariko ikintu cyasaga nkigaragara cyane kuri njye, mugihe yabazaga ibibazo ni iki: Ugiye gupfa umunsi umwe, Mama? Ugiye kundeka ubuziraherezo? \u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kandi ibyo, nshuti zanjye, nicyo kintu cyangoye twembi kurengana.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ku mwana wagize umubabaro mwinshi nigihombo kandi yarwaniye kumugereka afite\u2026 ndetse nuburyo bwo guhangayika afite\u2026 igitekerezo cyo kubura umuryango we cyari gihagije kugirango bidukwiriye twembi. Ntawabura kuvuga ko amarira yatembaga mu modoka nyuma ya saa sita.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ariko, nkuko akunda kubikora, kuva uwo munsi ntabwo yigeze avuga cyangwa urupfu rw'umuntu. Nzi ko bikizunguruka mu mutwe\u2026 nkuko tubona abaturanyi, n'imbwa nshya babonye kugerageza kubona umunezero mubuzima bwabo\u2026 ariko ntabwo yigeze avuga urupfu rwe.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ari "mumutwe we" byinshi mubintu, kandi mumyaka 7 yamaranye natwe, ntiturashobora buri gihe kumukuramo.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Nagerageje "kumurigata" mubaza niba atekereza umuntu cyangwa niba afite ibibazo kubintu ashaka kubaza cyangwa kuganira. Ariko igisubizo ni oya.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Noneho, mugihe ntegereje ko yitegura gutunganya neza\u2026 kandi nzi ko igihe kizagera\u2026 Niteguye gufata ibice. Yaba gutunganya urupfu rwe cyangwa undi muntu\u2026 urupfu burigihe ruza kandi mugihe runaka, bizaba hafi. Kandi agomba gutunganya byose.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ku mwana uturutse ahantu hakomeye, gutunganya urupfu no gutakaza birashobora kugaragara bitandukanye numuntu utarigeze agira ihungabana rikomeye. Kandi ibyo nibyiza\u2026 mugihe twe, ababyeyi, abashyigikiye, abarezi babizi kandi twumva ko\u2026 kandi tugaha umwana umwanya, umwanya hamwe nintera. Kandi witegure igihe ari.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Mubyukuri,<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So,\u00a0let\u2019s talk for a minute about kids from hard places\u00a0dealing with death.\u00a0Clearly, any child in foster care has experienced loss\u2026simply by virtue of the fact that he is no longer with his biological family. The removal, in and of itself,\u00a0is a loss and it is traumatic, even if the situation was not healthy or safe.\u00a0\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9703","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kriss-corner"],"yoast_head":"\nKris' Corner- Working through Death and a Funeral - Firefly Children and Family Alliance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/rw\/resources\/news-library\/kris-corner-working-through-death-and-a-funeral\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"rw_RW\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kris' Corner- Working through Death and a Funeral - Firefly Children and Family Alliance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"So,\u00a0let\u2019s talk for a minute about kids from hard places\u00a0dealing with death.\u00a0Clearly, any child in foster care has experienced loss\u2026simply by virtue of the fact that he is no longer with his biological family. 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