Muminsi ishize, nagiye mu nama yo gutera inkunga itsinda aho ijoro ryabagejejeho inkuru yumwana wawe. Mfite ibyago byo kumvikana cyane, mbere yuko ngenda, numvaga nakoze akazi keza cyane mubintu. Ariko, nkuko bikunze kubaho iyo nizeye cyane, nagiye kure yinama mbona ko ntakoze neza nkuko nabitekerezaga.<\/p>\n
Noneho kugira ngo ndenganure, ntabwo byari biteye ubwoba (hari ibyobo byinshi birenze ibyo nashakaga kubyemera), kandi byari bikosowe rwose kuko ntari narabeshye; Nari nkeneye cyane gusohora amakuru arambuye. Muri rusange rero nari nsigaranye byinshi byo kuvuga. Kandi birashoboka ko nawe wabikora.<\/p>\n
Nzi neza ko benshi muri twe bumvise ko ubwumvikane rusange bwinzobere buvuga ko abana bagomba kumenya amateka yabo yose mugihe bafite imyaka 12. Noneho ndashaka guhagarara hariya nkavuga neza gusa niba umwana azabasha kubyitwaramo. Niba ari imikorere mike cyane cyangwa ni amarangamutima cyane, muto cyane, sinzi ko 12 igomba kuba itegeko rikomeye kandi ryihuse. Kugira ngo byumvikane neza, abadamu bayobora amahugurwa ntibabivuze, ariko uyu ni njye ndimo guhuza ibitekerezo byanjye bitari umwuga (ariko byabayeho-uburambe).<\/p>\n
Noneho kubera ko yari amahugurwa adasanzwe, ndashaka kubagezaho bimwe mubindi baganiriye. Mbere na mbere, bemeza ko bitoroheye kubabyeyi barera cyangwa barera KANDI kumwana. Ku buryo inshuro nyinshi bitigera bizanwa kuko buriwese atamerewe neza. Ingingo yabo rero mumahugurwa yari iyi: niba umwana atabizana, bireba nkumuntu mukuru (igisonga cyinkuru), kugirango ube uwo "guta amabuye".<\/p>\n
None ibyo bivuze iki? \u201cTera amabuye\u201d? Ahanini ni uguta ibitekerezo bike kubyerekeye umwana wawe mugihe bifitanye isano numuryango wabo wavutse ukareba niba umwana azitabira ibiganiro. Kurugero: "Ufite amaso meza ya hazel. Ndibaza ninde wundi mumuryango ukomokamo ufite amaso ya hazel." Ntabwo wigeze ubaza ikibazo, wakoze gusa indorerezi hanyuma wicara kugirango utegereze urebe niba umwana azasezerana. Umwana arashobora gusubiza igitekerezo cyangwa ikibazo kijyanye n'amaso yabo cyangwa kubintu bitandukanye rwose numuryango bakomokamo. Cyangwa barashobora guhindura ingingo rwose.<\/p>\n
Kandi buri umwe muribo ameze neza rwose kuko iyi myitozo ntabwo ari myinshi kugirango utangire ikiganiro (nubwo bishobora kuba byiza uramutse ubikoze), ariko ahanini ni ukwereka umwana ko utekereza kumuryango wabo wavutse. Urashobora gukeka ko bishoboka cyane, nabo, ariko ntibazi kukuzanira; umwana afite amarangamutima menshi avanze kubijyanye (birumvikana!) Ariko muguterera amabuye, uba werekanye ko uri ahantu hizewe ho kuganira kumiryango bakomokamo.<\/p>\n
Imwe mu zindi ngingo zivuye mu kiganiro ni uko ugomba kuba umunyakuri rwose. Ntugashushanye kandi ntusige ibisobanuro\u2026 nubwo rwose bigoye; gusa iyo hariho ukuri umwana ashobora gutangira gutera imbere akira. Biragaragara ko bitazabaho ako kanya, ariko niba basigaye bibaza ku nkuru zabo, cyangwa niba hari icyuho mu nkuru, bazuzuza amakuru yabo bwite bishoboka cyane ko atari ukuri.<\/p>\n
Kandi, ntutinye kuvuga ko utazi igisubizo. Birashoboka cyane mugihe runaka hazabaho ibibazo utazi igisubizo cyacyo. Birashoboka ko ntawe uzi igisubizo. Ntutinye rero kwicara muri ibyo hamwe numwana wawe.<\/p>\n
Ingingo ya nyuma batanze ni uko niba utazi igisubizo, menya ko bishoboka cyane ko ukeneye gushaka undi muntu\u2026 wenda umuntu wigeze guhura nurugendo nk'urwo ku mwana wawe. Ariko iri imbere yumwana wawe murugendo kandi arimo gukora uko ashoboye kugirango akire. Uyu muntu azumva umwana wawe muburyo udashobora kuko nabo bahuye nabyo. Kandi uyu muntu arashobora kubona no kwemeza umwana wawe muburyo udashobora. Ntabwo ari ukubera ko utagerageza, ntabwo ari ukubera ko udakunda umwana wawe, ahubwo ni ukubera ko udashobora na rimwe gusobanukirwa neza ibyiyumvo byumwana wawe ninkuru muburyo uyu muntu ashobora kubikora. Kandi ibi bizafasha umwana wawe gukira kwe.<\/p>\n
Inshuro nyinshi kubana barera cyangwa barera, usanga hari isoni nyinshi kuberako batabana numuryango wabo. Biragaragara ko ibi bihe byaje nta kosa ry'umwana, ariko haracyari byinshi byo gukora. Mugusangiza nabo inkuru zabo zose no kubemerera guhangana nukuri kwukuri, gusa nibwo barashobora kuririra ibyo batakaje byose hanyuma bakiteza imbere bakira.<\/p>\n
Mubyukuri,<\/p>\n
Kris<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Recently, I attended a support group meeting in which the topic for the night was sharing your child\u2019s story with them. At the risk of sounding overly-confident, before I went, I felt like I had done a pretty good job of things. But, as often happens when I am overly-confident, I walked away from the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-80103","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kriss-corner"],"yoast_head":"\n