Kugenda rero hamwe ninyandiko yanjye iheruka kubyerekeranye no guhuza abavandimwe\u2026 ikindi kintu kidasa nkaho kivugwa cyane mubarera no kurera ni ingaruka iyo umuvandimwe mukuru yagiye muri kaminuza. Niba warasomye inyandiko zanjye zabanjirije iyi, usanzwe uzi ko mubyacu, abahungu bacu babyaranye bafite imyaka 13 na 11, baruta umuhungu wacu muto wakuwe muburere. Mugihe umuhererezi winjiye iwacu afite amezi atatu, abakuru bari (wabitekereje) 11 na 13.<\/p>\n
Icyo gihe itandukaniro ryimyaka ryari ryiza kuko bafashaga cyane, kandi (ahanini) bashishikajwe no kumwiga nuburyo bwo kumufasha neza. Nyuma yigihe, barushijeho kumwiyegereza, na we kuri bo, nubwo imyaka itandukanye. Nibyingenzi rwose kuri we, kandi byose bifatanye neza.<\/p>\n
Ariko, igihe umuhererezi yari afite imyaka 5, umuhungu wacu w'imfura yagiye muri kaminuza. Kandi mvugishije ukuri, Ubwoko bw'amazi ateganijwe kuva muto. Ahubwo narakaye. Nsubije amaso inyuma, ntabwo nari nkwiye gutungurwa, ariko nari\u2026 ahari kubera ko umubabaro wanjye wasaga nkuwababaje, kandi nubwo ntagomba gutekereza ko ibye bizamera nkanjye, nabitekereje\u2026 ariko ikibabaje nuko umubabaro we wasaga nkumusazi.<\/p>\n
Ntawabura kuvuga, ibyabaye byose byari bigoye kuri twese, ariko cyane cyane kumuhungu wacu muto. Ntiyigeze yumva impamvu murumuna we yagiye hanyuma agaruka hanyuma akagenda hanyuma akagaruka\u2026 buri byumweru bike yatashye murugo muri wikendi. Kubwamahirwe (kandi ushobora kuba umaze kubimenya nkurikije imyaka yumuhungu wacu w'imfura), amaherezo naje kubona umuhungu mutoyi muburyo runaka ko musaza we atakibana natwe; arataha gusa kuruhuka.<\/p>\n
Hanyuma Covid byarabaye kandi mukuru wacu yagombaga gutaha amezi\u2026 kuburyo bigaragara ko byari biteye urujijo. Byumvikane neza, twongeye kugira umurongo wo kwiga igihe cyose yongeye kuva muri kaminuza muri Nzeri ikurikira. Ariko mvugishije ukuri\u2026 nubwo twumva neza ibyabaye n'impamvu murumuna we yaje akagenda, ntabwo byamuteye kumutima.<\/p>\n
Kandi igihe cyose, umubabaro wasaga nkumusazi.<\/p>\n
Noneho mu mwaka wa gatatu wiki gihembwe cya "kuki murumuna wanjye ari hano hanyuma akagenda buri gihe?", Undi musaza we na we yagiye muri kaminuza\u2026 kandi kugwa muri ibyo byari byinshi.<\/p>\n
Umuhererezi wacu yari afite imyitwarire itandukanye iganisha kuri yo no kuyikurikiza. Njye ku giti cyanjye ndizera ko ari ukubera ko yari mukuru, muto ufite ubwenge buke kandi yari azi ibizaza\u2026 ko uyu muvandimwe nawe atazongera kubana natwe igihe cyose. Kandi ntiyigeze akunda ibyo.<\/p>\n
Yarakaye rero akarakara umwanya muto hanyuma akitonda\u2026 hanyuma byanze bikunze, umwe mu bavandimwe yatashye gusura. Kandi igare rya pome ryongera kubabazwa muminsi mike.<\/p>\n
Nyamuneka ndakwinginze ntukumve ibyo ntavuze: nta kuntu nshinja abahungu bakuru\u2026 Mu byukuri ntabwo ari amakosa yabo kandi birumvikana ko nishimiye igihe bashakaga gutaha. Byari byiza kandi ko bagerageza kumva uburakari bwe uko bashoboye (ntabwo buri gihe byari byiza kuko bari bakiri ingimbi icyo gihe, ariko ndabaha ibyifuzo bikomeye byo kugerageza).<\/p>\n
Ariko cyane cyane uko ibihe byagiye bisimburana, bagerageje gutegura uruzinduko rwabo murugo mbere kugirango bashobore kumubwira igihe bazagenda iminsi cyangwa ibyumweru bizaba mbere yuko bongera kubonana. Kandi ibyo gutekereza rwose byasaga nkibimufasha kumva ko ibyo bitaba igihe kinini.<\/p>\n
Mubitekerezo byimyaka icyenda iracyari ndende, ariko ntishobora kwihanganira.<\/p>\n
Noneho bamwe murashobora kuba musoma ibi kandi bakayoberwa nuburakari bwe, gusa rero ijambo ryihuse kubijyanye: rimwe na rimwe abana bava ahantu habi ntibatunganya amarangamutima yabo neza bityo amarangamutima ntagaragare nkuko bisanzwe; kumuhungu wacu, umubabaro usohoka nkumusazi kuri we\u2026 kandi byadutwaye igihe kugirango tubimenye.<\/p>\n
Kugirango rero mucyo rwose, tuvuga ngo "akababaro ke karasaze" ariko mubyukuri birenze gusara gusa; imyitwarire twahuye na we yariyongereye uburakari, (nk'ibiturika), ndetse no guhangayika cyane (guhekenya cyane ku rutoki). Imyitwarire utegereje kumuntu uhangayitse cyane, bityo rero, nkababyeyi be, tugomba guhora tuzirikana ibyo\u2026 nubwo yumva ko barumuna be bagiye, cyangwa barigendeye, cyangwa akababura gusa, arashobora amarangamutima aterwa nibyo kandi tugomba kuba kuri "Umukino" kugirango dufate ibice\u2026 kandi tunabimenye mugihe tumaze kubona umusazi we, ntitugomba gukemura imyitwarire yabasazi gusa, ahubwo tugomba kubyumva murwego rwa agahinda.<\/p>\n
Kandi ku kaga ko kumvikana nk'ibintu byacitse: Aho niho dukomeza gutuza, no gukomeza kwiyobora, ndetse no mu gihe cy'akababaro ke, niho dushobora kumufasha gukomeza gukira\u2026 no kumva ko igihombo yumva atari a gutakaza burundu, nibyigihe gito, nubwo igihombo cyombi gishobora kumwumva kimwe nkumwana wimyaka icyenda kuva ahantu hakomeye.<\/p>\n
Biragaragara ko hariho ubundi buryo bwinshi bushoboka mugihe a) imyitwarire ishobora kwerekana itagaragaza amarangamutima nyayo, na b) irashobora kuba umwana urera cyangwa \/ cyangwa umwana warezwe agenda mbere\u2026 kandi imbaraga zishobora kuba zitandukanye rwose muriki gihe. Tutitaye kubibazo byurugo rwawe, nizere ko ibi bigufasha kumva ko imyitwarire cyangwa amarangamutima ubona mumwana wawe bidashobora kuba aribyo nyabyo bumva; amarangamutima nyayo arashobora, aho, guhishwa munsi yikintu cyoroshye kubagaragaza. Iyo uje iruhande rwabo ukagenda murugamba nabo niho ushobora gufasha kwiga kode kugirango umenye ibyiyumvo byabo.<\/p>\n
Mubyukuri,<\/p>\n
Kris<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So going along with my last post about sibling connection\u2026another thing that doesn\u2019t seem to be talked about too much in foster and adoption is the impact when an older sibling going away to college. If you\u2019ve read any of my previous posts, you already know that in our case, our biological sons are 13 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18297","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kriss-corner"],"yoast_head":"\n