{"id":9758,"date":"2021-09-15T16:46:08","date_gmt":"2021-09-15T16:46:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childrensbureau.org\/?p=9758"},"modified":"2025-02-25T12:05:34","modified_gmt":"2025-02-25T17:05:34","slug":"kris-corner-things-not-to-say-to-a-foster-parent-or-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/ht\/resources\/news-library\/kris-corner-things-not-to-say-to-a-foster-parent-or-child\/","title":{"rendered":"Kris&#039; Corner \u2013 Bagay pou w pa di yon paran oswa yon timoun adoptif"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Menm jan ak tout dom\u00e8n nan lavi a, gen bagay ki apwopriye pou di ak bagay ki pa apwopriye pou di... e sa a absoliman aplike l\u00e8 w ap pale ak paran adoptif yo. Koulye a, mwen definitivman vle f\u00e8 moun gras paske mwen konnen ke anpil nan bagay sa yo yo di nan inyorans oswa nan jis f\u00e8 san f\u00e8 anyen konsa chit-chat nan liy nan mak\u00e8t la oswa l\u00f2t bagay; tipikman, moun yo pa bay mo yo anpil (si genyen) panse epi pa gen moun ki soti nan f\u00e8 mal yon moun entansyon\u00e8lman.<\/p>\n<p>Nan l\u00f2t fwa, bagay yo di tou senpleman paske moun vle gen koneksyon ak yon fanmi adoptif, men yo tou senpleman pa konnen ki sa yo di, oswa ki jan yo poze kesyon apwopriye.<\/p>\n<p>Apre sa, gen moun ki ap fouye pou pousy\u00e8 t\u00e8 a, epi pa gen anyen sou konv\u00e8sasyon an ki pral benefisye fanmi adoptif la; li pral s\u00e8lman s\u00e8vi pou satisf\u00e8 kiryozite morbid moun k ap poze kesyon yo (\u00e8ske w ka di sa f\u00e8 m mal?).<\/p>\n<p>Se konsa, sitou, men kons\u00e8y m ap bay moun nan nou ki ka ap mande t\u00e8t yo sou fason pou yo trav\u00e8se sij\u00e8 a:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Si w ale dey\u00f2 epi w w\u00e8 yon paran ak yon timoun ki pa sanble pataje jenetik, pa poze kesyon p\u00e8son\u00e8l.<\/li>\n<li>Si w konnen yon paran ak yon timoun, epi w konnen yo pa pataje jenetik, pa poze kesyon p\u00e8son\u00e8l.<\/li>\n<li>Si w pa ta renmen ke yon etranje oswa menm yon zanmi poze w kesyon ki sanble, enpoze w, pa poze l\u00f2t moun kesyon sa yo.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u00c8ske w ap jwenn drift mwen isit la? Pa poze kesyon p\u00e8son\u00e8l. Se pa gen yon biznis e menm si yon moun pa vle di pou f\u00e8 curieux, yo toujou ta ka. Nan eksperyans p\u00e8son\u00e8l mwen, s\u00e8l rezon ki f\u00e8 yon moun pwobableman ap poze m kesyon sou pitit mwen an oswa fanmi byolojik li se satisf\u00e8 pw\u00f2p kiryozite li epi li pa pou amelyore t\u00e8t mwen oswa pitit mwen an. Pif\u00f2 moun ka pa reyalize sa a, se pout\u00e8t sa mwen isit la ak pw\u00f2p mwen &quot;Ted Talk&quot; sou sij\u00e8 a.<\/p>\n<p>Nan yon fason ki gen rap\u00f2, men ki pi enp\u00f2tan, non s\u00e8lman yo pa ta dwe mande paran adoptif yo sou detay p\u00e8son\u00e8l istwa timoun nan, ni yo pa ta dwe mande timoun nan. Se pa biznis p\u00e8sonn, epi on\u00e8tman poze kesyon sa yo ka deklanche emosyon\u00e8lman pou yon timoun nan swen adoptif...e mwen s\u00e8ten ke pa gen moun ki gen entansyon deklanche nenp\u00f2t moun, espesyalman yon timoun nan swen. Istwa timoun nan se istwa yo pou pataje ak moun yo vle, l\u00e8 yo vle... pa neses\u00e8man ak zanmi nan legliz la oswa moun l\u00f2t nasyon ki nan liy d\u00e8y\u00e8 l &#039;nan mak\u00e8t la. Epi li ka konprann yon timoun gendwa gen yon moman difisil pou esplike yon adilt sa, kidonk timoun nan pataje plis sou t\u00e8t li pase yo al\u00e8z pou f\u00e8... tou senpleman paske yon adilt pa t s\u00e8vi ak limit apwopriye.<\/p>\n<p>Depi kounye a ou ta ka panse, &quot;De kisa fanm sa a ap pale nan mond lan? Ki kalite bagay malonn\u00e8t oswa ki pa apwopriye moun te di, sitou ak yon timoun? Oke, pa enkyete ... Mwen isit la ba ou k\u00e8k egzanp, ki fre soti nan manman yo nan swen adoptif mwen ak gwoup sip\u00f2 adopsyon. Chak nan yo te di oswa mande yon manman mwen konnen, e mwen s\u00e8ten gen anpil l\u00f2t bagay grosye oswa neglijans yo te tande ke yo te swa chwazi pa pataje oswa yo te f\u00f2se t\u00e8t yo bliye sou.<\/p>\n<p>Nan okenn l\u00f2d espesifik, isit la se k\u00e8k (genyen definitivman plis, kidonk tanpri pa konsidere sa a yon lis konpl\u00e8 pa nenp\u00f2t ki vle di) nan bagay yo grosye ak apwopriye PA di pou paran adoptif oswa adoptif oswa pitit yo (ak k\u00f2m yon sou kote. \u2026yo pwobableman grosye pou di nenp\u00f2t moun, pa s\u00e8lman fanmi adoptif):<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Papa li dwe etranje.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Wow! Ou gen men ou plen!&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Ala yon gwo ekipaj!&quot; Anjeneral swiv ak, &quot;Ou konnen ki sa ki lak\u00f2z sa a, pa vre?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Ki kote ou te pran li?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Ou pale ak VRE manman yo?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Wow! Li s\u00e8ten li pa sanble ak nenp\u00f2t moun nan fanmi an!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Si p\u00e8sonn pa vle li, nou pral asire w pran li.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Li dwe jwenn koloran li nan men papa l!&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Aww, pitit ou a t\u00e8lman b\u00e8l... kote li soti?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Li t\u00e8lman b\u00e8l. Asire w ke paran li pa w\u00e8 li tout poupe konsa. Yo pral vle li tounen.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Mwen pa ka kw\u00e8 paran yo pa t vle yo.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Se konsa, se te dw\u00f2g?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Eske yo tout pou ou?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Oh, mwen pa janm ka f\u00e8 sa. Mwen ta vin tw\u00f2 atache.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Mwen pa ta kapab rem\u00e8t yo.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Nan pwen sa a, mwen s\u00e8ten ke grasa lef\u00e8t ke mwen te chwazi k\u00f2mant\u00e8 yo kanpe poukont yo, ou menm, odyans rize mwen an, ka w\u00e8 poukisa okenn nan bagay sa yo pa ta apwopriye yo di. Tankou tout tan.<\/p>\n<p>Ak\u00f2de... \u00e8ske nou tout te di bagay estipid nan yon pwen oswa yon l\u00f2t? Natir\u00e8lman, e mwen pa panse ke p\u00f2s blog sa a pral elimine tout k\u00f2mant\u00e8 ki f\u00e8 mal ak ensansib ki dirije nan direksyon paran adoptif oswa timoun ki nan swen yo. Sa pap janm rive evidamman.<\/p>\n<p>Objektif mwen se tou senpleman mete l &#039;nan d\u00e8y\u00e8 nan t\u00e8t moun yo pou ke SI yon sitiyasyon rive epi yon konv\u00e8sasyon ak paran adoptif oswa yon timoun adoptif s&#039;, moun ki te li sa a pral omwen pran yon poz anvan li di yon bagay san entansyon\u00e8lman blese oswa deklanche.<\/p>\n<p>M\u00e8si paske w te vini nan &quot;Ted Talk&quot; mwen an.<\/p>\n<p>Sens\u00e8man,<\/p>\n<p>Kris<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As with all areas of life, there are things which are appropriate to say and things which are inappropriate to say\u2026and this absolutely applies when talking to foster parents. Now\u2026I am definitely willing to grace people out because I know that many of these things are said out of ignorance or out of just making [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9758","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kriss-corner"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Kris&#039; Corner - Things NOT to Say to a Foster Parent or Child - Firefly Children and Family Alliance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/ht\/resources\/news-library\/kris-corner-things-not-to-say-to-a-foster-parent-or-child\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ht_HT\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kris&#039; Corner - Things NOT to Say to a Foster Parent or Child - Firefly Children and Family Alliance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As with all areas of life, there are things which are appropriate to say and things which are inappropriate to say\u2026and this absolutely applies when talking to foster parents. 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