{"id":9398,"date":"2021-06-10T22:39:19","date_gmt":"2021-06-10T22:39:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childrensbureau.org\/?p=9398"},"modified":"2025-02-25T12:05:54","modified_gmt":"2025-02-25T17:05:54","slug":"kris-corner-from-the-trenches-what-i-wish-id-known-part-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/fr\/resources\/news-library\/kris-corner-from-the-trenches-what-i-wish-id-known-part-4\/","title":{"rendered":"Le coin de Kris - Depuis les tranch\u00e9es\u00a0: ce que j'aurais aim\u00e9 savoir, partie 4"},"content":{"rendered":"

Il n\u2019est s\u00fbrement pas surprenant que lorsque vous devenez parent d\u2019accueil, votre temps finisse par \u00eatre encore plus partag\u00e9 que jamais. Et donc, vous devez faire attention \u00e0 prot\u00e9ger votre propre temps et celui de votre famille ; pour vous y aider, vous devrez fixer (ou apprendre \u00e0 fixer) des limites saines et r\u00e9alistes.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Les parents d'accueil \u00e0 qui j'ai parl\u00e9 avaient quelques choses \u00e0 dire sur ce sujet. En fait, trois d\u2019entre eux l\u2019ont fait. Ainsi, m\u00eame si je ne cite souvent qu\u2019un seul parent par sujet, cette fois j\u2019en ai cit\u00e9 trois, car leurs arguments sont valables et ils parlent \u00e0 partir de positions d\u2019exp\u00e9rience\u00a0:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u00ab Assurez-vous que votre \u00ab Non \u00bb signifie non lorsqu'il s'agit de votre emploi du temps et des heures de visite. D\u00e9fendez votre temps en famille et prot\u00e9gez-le\u00a0! Personne dans \u00ab le syst\u00e8me \u00bb ne viendra reconstituer votre famille, vous devez donc faire de votre famille une priorit\u00e9.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u00ab\u00a0Il n'y a rien de mal \u00e0 d\u00e9fendre les horaires et les besoins de votre propre famille\u2026. c'est normal de dire que quelque chose ne fonctionnera pas ou que vous avez besoin d'un autre moment.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u00ab J'aurais aim\u00e9 conna\u00eetre la flexibilit\u00e9 dont vous avez besoin avec votre emploi du temps\u2026 Je n'\u00e9tais pas pr\u00eat \u00e0 avoir autant de personnes entrant et sortant de chez moi\u2026 et dont beaucoup (surtout avec nos deux premiers cas) ne semblaient pas le faire. ayez beaucoup de respect pour notre temps ou notre emploi du temps.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Cela dit, le but de ces citations est le suivant\u00a0: assurez-vous de donner la priorit\u00e9 \u00e0 votre propre famille lorsque vous le pouvez. Et nous l'admettons tous librement : c'est vraiment difficile de trouver cet \u00e9quilibre, surtout au d\u00e9but d'un stage ; mais vous devez vous d\u00e9fendre \u00e0 un certain niveau.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Maintenant, vous vous demandez peut-\u00eatre\u00a0: pourquoi ces familles accordent-elles autant d\u2019importance aux priorit\u00e9s\u00a0? N'essayons-nous pas simplement d'aider les enfants ? Pourquoi devons-nous faire de notre famille une priorit\u00e9 ?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Eh bien, malheureusement, il semble que votre famille n'ait souvent que peu ou pas de priorit\u00e9, de la part du DCS, des superviseurs des visites, des transporteurs ou de toute autre personne. Naturellement, la priorit\u00e9 est donn\u00e9e aux parents biologiques, aux enfants et \u00e0 leurs soins, ce qui est logique. Ils rel\u00e8vent de la responsabilit\u00e9 de DCS (et ult\u00e9rieurement de celle des prestataires : accompagnateurs de visites, th\u00e9rapeutes, transporteurs, etc.).\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Et, bien s\u00fbr, les enfants adoptifs sont \u00e9galement sous votre responsabilit\u00e9 (en tant que parents adoptifs)\u2026 mais votre propre famille aussi et ce n'est pas un probl\u00e8me. Je ne sais pas exactement pourquoi, mais parfois les travailleurs sociaux impliqu\u00e9s dans l'affaire vous feront sentir que ce n'est pas acceptable de donner la priorit\u00e9 \u00e0 votre famille, mais c'est le cas.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Je t'autorise \u00e0 donner la priorit\u00e9 \u00e0 ta famille, juste au cas o\u00f9 tu aurais besoin que quelqu'un te dise \u00e7a.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Maintenant\u2026 pas toujours la priorit\u00e9 absolue\u2026 mais permettez au moins \u00e0 votre propre famille de figurer sur la LISTE des priorit\u00e9s. Cela ne veut pas dire que vous devez \u00eatre difficile ou intransigeant lorsque le superviseur des visites tente de modifier le calendrier, ou si le DCS souhaite ajouter des visites ou autre chose. Si vous pouvez prendre du recul et \u00e9valuer mentalement si ce qu'ils demandent est important ou non, vous r\u00e9aliserez peut-\u00eatre que ce n'est pas un probl\u00e8me d'y r\u00e9pondre. Et de temps en temps, le changement am\u00e9liore \u00e9galement l\u2019horaire du foyer d\u2019accueil.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Au fil du temps et de l'exp\u00e9rience, vous apprendrez \u00e0 choisir vos combats et \u00e0 savoir quand dire non, quand accepter et quand faire gr\u00e2ce. Parfois, ce n'est vraiment pas pratique d'avoir une visite suppl\u00e9mentaire programm\u00e9e ou une heure de visite modifi\u00e9e\u2026 mais quand c'est quelque chose comme la f\u00eate des m\u00e8res ou No\u00ebl, je vous encourage \u00e0 essayer de vous rappeler qu'il ne s'agit pas seulement de vous. Et si possible, penchez-vous.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Lorsque vous \u00eates plac\u00e9 en famille d'accueil, vous devez comprendre que toutes les personnes impliqu\u00e9es (vous, l'enfant, les parents biologiques, DCS et tout le monde) vont probablement devoir\u00a0<\/span>"<\/span>plier<\/span>\u00bb\u00a0; il est rare que quelqu\u2019un obtienne les choses exactement comme il le souhaite. Et certes, ce sont souvent les parents d'accueil qui seront ceux qui se plieront le plus. Mais cela ne veut pas dire que vous ne pouvez pas vous d\u00e9fendre. Vous n\u2019obtiendrez peut-\u00eatre pas (probablement pas) tout ce que vous demandez, mais vous ne devriez pas vous permettre d\u2019\u00eatre une sorte de paillasson. Vous pouvez tenir bon sur certaines choses, surtout lorsqu\u2019il s\u2019agit de maintenir une famille en bonne sant\u00e9.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Sinc\u00e8rement,<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It will surely come as no surprise that when you become a foster parent, your time ends up being split even more than ever. 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