{"id":8858,"date":"2020-10-14T13:59:22","date_gmt":"2020-10-14T13:59:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childrensbureau.org\/?p=8858"},"modified":"2025-02-25T12:06:23","modified_gmt":"2025-02-25T17:06:23","slug":"kris-corner-you-should-never-disrupt-a-placement-part-two","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/fr\/resources\/news-library\/kris-corner-you-should-never-disrupt-a-placement-part-two\/","title":{"rendered":"Kris&#039; Corner - Vous ne devriez jamais perturber un placement, deuxi\u00e8me partie"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Comme je l&#039;ai mentionn\u00e9 dans la premi\u00e8re partie de cette \u00ab s\u00e9rie en deux parties \u00bb, nous avons fini par perturber deux placements. Et comme ce n\u2019est clairement PAS ce qui devrait arriver, je souhaite discuter de certaines fa\u00e7ons dont, selon moi, au moins une de ces perturbations aurait pu \u00eatre \u00e9vit\u00e9e.<\/p>\n<p>Permettez-moi de commencer par dire ceci : le syst\u00e8me \u00e9tant ce qu&#039;il est, il est tr\u00e8s difficile de savoir, au moment o\u00f9 vous effectuez un stage, si vous allez \u00eatre capable de le g\u00e9rer. Et pour bien conna\u00eetre les probl\u00e8mes r\u00e9els de l&#039;enfant plac\u00e9 chez vous\u2026 car lorsqu&#039;un enfant est nouvellement pris en charge, le DCS et votre agence (Bureau des enfants) n&#039;auront pas tous les faits. Il n\u2019y a tout simplement aucun moyen pour eux de le faire. Ils vous donnent tous les d\u00e9tails dont ils disposent, mais honn\u00eatement, c&#039;est parfois une chance pour le parent d&#039;accueil de savoir si le placement va bien s&#039;int\u00e9grer dans le foyer.<\/p>\n<p>Je sais que ce n\u2019est peut-\u00eatre pas l\u2019encouragement que vous recherchez. Mais je vous dis cela pour savoir qu&#039;aucun placement 100% n&#039;est garanti qu&#039;il se passera bien. Chaque placement pr\u00e9sente des difficult\u00e9s, que ce soit l&#039;enfant, l&#039;assistant social, le responsable des visites, les parents biologiques ou m\u00eame les parents d&#039;accueil eux-m\u00eames qui g\u00eanent les choses.<\/p>\n<p>Pour notre premier placement, je suis pr\u00eat \u00e0 admettre qu\u2019une partie du probl\u00e8me \u00e9tait mon incapacit\u00e9 \u00e0 comprendre que nous devions changer une partie du fonctionnement de notre foyer. Je ne comprenais pas vraiment \u00e0 quel point il serait difficile pour les enfants de simplement s&#039;assimiler \u00e0 notre moule. Je ne pense pas que ce soit rare, surtout lors des premiers placements, mais j&#039;ai laiss\u00e9 ma frustration aller jusqu&#039;\u00e0 la perturbation.<\/p>\n<p>Avec le recul, j&#039;aurais pu donner plus de temps en t\u00eate-\u00e0-t\u00eate aux filles, en planifiant des activit\u00e9s que mes gar\u00e7ons pourraient faire \u00e0 l&#039;ext\u00e9rieur de la maison pendant un certain temps. Nous sommes une famille qui fait l&#039;\u00e9cole \u00e0 la maison, donc cela n&#039;aurait pas forc\u00e9ment \u00e9t\u00e9 id\u00e9al, mais nous aurions pu le faire dans le but de pr\u00e9server le placement. De plus, j\u2019aurais pu envoyer les filles \u00e0 l\u2019\u00e9cole publique au lieu d\u2019essayer de leur enseigner \u00e0 la maison. Je ne comprenais pas comment cela pouvait \u00eatre si stressant pour eux \u00e0 une \u00e9poque d\u00e9j\u00e0 pleine de stress et d&#039;anxi\u00e9t\u00e9. Les garder dans la m\u00eame \u00e9cole aurait signifi\u00e9 que nous aurions d\u00fb les transporter environ 45 minutes aller simple chaque jour pour se rendre \u00e0 l&#039;\u00e9cole, mais cela leur aurait apport\u00e9 un certain r\u00e9confort du fait que c&#039;\u00e9tait familier et qu&#039;ils pouvaient \u00eatre avec la m\u00eame \u00e9cole. m\u00eame professeur et amis.<\/p>\n<p>D&#039;autres techniques pour tenter de conserver un placement incluent, sans s&#039;y limiter, les \u00e9l\u00e9ments suivants\u00a0:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>S&#039;appuyer sur des soutiens naturels\u2026 cela reviendrait \u00e0 tendre la main aux amis et \u00e0 la famille qui soutiennent votre d\u00e9cision de les accueillir et \u00e0 s&#039;appuyer sur eux pour obtenir un soutien physique et \u00e9motionnel.<\/li>\n<li>Exprimez-vous aupr\u00e8s du gestionnaire de cas du Bureau de l&#039;enfance\u2026 ils ne vous croient pas si vous dites que tout va bien, il est donc pr\u00e9f\u00e9rable d&#039;\u00eatre simplement honn\u00eate. Ils ont un dos large et peuvent g\u00e9rer votre ventilation. De plus, ils ne peuvent pas vous aider s\u2019ils ne savent pas ce qui se passe.<\/li>\n<li>Obtenir des suggestions des membres de l&#039;\u00e9quipe\u2026 cela peut \u00eatre le FCM, les th\u00e9rapeutes ou m\u00eame les parents biologiques eux-m\u00eames. Ils pourraient avoir des conseils ou des id\u00e9es \u00e0 vous donner sur la fa\u00e7on d\u2019aider un enfant \u00e0 mieux assimiler. Par exemple\u00a0: l&#039;enfant a-t-il un jouet ou une couverture pr\u00e9f\u00e9r\u00e9 qu&#039;il n&#039;a pas apport\u00e9 de chez lui\u00a0? Pourrait-il obtenir cet article en particulier, ou les parents d&#039;accueil pourraient-ils l&#039;aider \u00e0 choisir un rempla\u00e7ant appropri\u00e9 ?<\/li>\n<li>Prendre du r\u00e9pit\u2026 il existe des familles d&#039;accueil qui peuvent accueillir temporairement votre enfant adoptif afin de vous accorder un r\u00e9pit. Cela peut durer une journ\u00e9e ou une nuit\u2026 ou m\u00eame plusieurs jours. En profitant de ce temps s\u00e9par\u00e9, cela peut vous aider \u00e0 voir plus clairement ce qui pourrait mieux fonctionner avec votre enfant adoptif.<\/li>\n<li>Prendre du temps pour soi\u2026 ou m\u00eame simplement \u00ab se mettre en pause \u00bb quelques minutes seulement pour se regrouper et se r\u00e9adapter. C&#039;est incroyable ce qu&#039;une petite pause dans une situation stressante peut faire pour vous.<\/li>\n<li>Soulagement du stress personnel\u2026 cela peut \u00eatre aller \u00e0 la salle de sport ou sortir avec des amis. Tout ce dont vous avez besoin pour vous aider \u00e0 vous d\u00e9stresser.<\/li>\n<li>\u00ab S&#039;en sortir \u00bb\u2026 sachez simplement que l&#039;adaptation prend du temps \u00e0 la fois pour l&#039;enfant et pour le foyer d&#039;accueil, et choisir de s&#039;en sortir jusqu&#039;\u00e0 ce que la poussi\u00e8re retombe un peu pourrait \u00eatre une autre technique \u00e0 utiliser.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Passons maintenant au placement suite \u00e0 l&#039;adoption de notre fils, car les probl\u00e8mes que nous avons v\u00e9cus n&#039;avaient rien \u00e0 voir avec le dossier, mais avec notre propre enfant. Apr\u00e8s avoir ajout\u00e9 d\u00e9finitivement un enfant ayant des ant\u00e9c\u00e9dents de traumatisme \u00e0 notre famille, les fondements de notre \u00ab famille d\u2019accueil \u00bb avaient chang\u00e9 et nous devions r\u00e9fl\u00e9chir \u00e0 la mani\u00e8re dont lui et ses besoins \u00e9taient pris en compte. Le plus souvent, le stress vient de l&#039;enfant plac\u00e9 en famille d&#039;accueil et le comportement frustrant est particulier \u00e0 son cas et \u00e0 la compr\u00e9hension d&#039;o\u00f9 vient ce comportement\u00a0; ce comportement est enracin\u00e9 dans l\u2019exp\u00e9rience traumatisante de l\u2019enfant.<\/p>\n<p>Cela \u00e9tant dit, nous avons d\u00fb utiliser diff\u00e9rentes m\u00e9thodes dans ce cas, dont certaines peuvent sembler \u00e9videntes et simples. Par exemple, nous avons essay\u00e9 d&#039;\u00eatre plus intentionnels avec notre fils en termes d&#039;attention, surtout lorsque le b\u00e9b\u00e9 partait rendre visite \u00e0 ses parents biologiques. Nous avons essay\u00e9 de pr\u00e9server autant que possible la normalit\u00e9 de la routine de notre fils et de nous assurer qu&#039;il disposait de ce dont il avait besoin pour se sentir en s\u00e9curit\u00e9. Nous faisions des choses qu&#039;il aimait\u2026 monter dans la voiture, jouer dehors, jouer avec ses jouets pr\u00e9f\u00e9r\u00e9s, tout ce qui pouvait l&#039;aider \u00e0 se r\u00e9guler. Mais en fin de compte, cela n\u2019a servi \u00e0 rien\u2026 et \u00e0 tout le moins, cela nous a aid\u00e9 \u00e0 comprendre que notre fils n\u2019\u00e9tait tout simplement pas capable de g\u00e9rer cela \u00e9motionnellement.<\/p>\n<p>Non pas que quiconque se lance dans un stage dans l\u2019intention de perturber, mais je veux m\u2019assurer que vous sachiez que c\u2019est une option ; pour faire savoir que si vous \u00eates compl\u00e8tement au bout du rouleau et que je pense que vous ne pouvez plus vous accrocher, vous avez la possibilit\u00e9 de perturber si cela est absolument n\u00e9cessaire. Cela dit, il ne faut jamais agir \u00e0 la l\u00e9g\u00e8re ou avec d\u00e9sinvolture, et sans tenir compte du fait que l\u2019enfant est perturb\u00e9. Et m\u00eame si un placement interrompu peut apporter un soulagement \u00e0 la famille d&#039;accueil, il devient une perte et un \u00e9chec permanents pour l&#039;enfant. Toutes les mesures doivent \u00eatre essay\u00e9es pour am\u00e9liorer la situation et les recommandations de l&#039;agence avant de d\u00e9cider de demander le retrait de l&#039;enfant.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Sinc\u00e8rement,<\/p>\n<p>Kris<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As I mentioned in Part 1 of this \u201ctwo part series\u201d, we ended up disrupting two placements. And since this is clearly NOT what should happen, I want to discuss some ways I believe that at least one of these disruptions could have been avoided. Let me begin by saying this: The system being what [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":8861,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8858","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kriss-corner"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Kris&#039; Corner - You should never disrupt a placement, Part Two - Firefly Children and Family Alliance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/fr\/resources\/news-library\/kris-corner-you-should-never-disrupt-a-placement-part-two\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kris&#039; Corner - You should never disrupt a placement, Part Two - Firefly Children and Family Alliance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As I mentioned in Part 1 of this \u201ctwo part series\u201d, we ended up disrupting two placements. 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