{"id":39568,"date":"2025-02-26T13:25:38","date_gmt":"2025-02-26T18:25:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/?p=39568"},"modified":"2025-03-06T14:03:47","modified_gmt":"2025-03-06T19:03:47","slug":"kris-corner-coping-mechanisms","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/fr\/resources\/news-library\/kris-corner-coping-mechanisms\/","title":{"rendered":"Le coin de Kris \u2013 M\u00e9canismes d\u2019adaptation"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ainsi, le placement familial (et honn\u00eatement la vie en g\u00e9n\u00e9ral) est rempli de divers m\u00e9canismes d\u2019adaptation. En tant que famille d\u2019accueil, vous pourriez d\u00e9couvrir que vous en avez \u00e9galement (et m\u00eame si vous ne \u00ab d\u00e9couvrez \u00bb pas que vous en avez, il y a de fortes chances que vous en ayez\u2026 car \u00eatre famille d\u2019accueil est difficile et nous avons TOUS des moyens de faire face au stress).<\/p>\n<p>Mais ce n&#039;est pas vraiment de cela que je suis venue parler aujourd&#039;hui. J&#039;aimerais parler des m\u00e9canismes d&#039;adaptation que nous pourrions observer chez les enfants pris en charge et de la fa\u00e7on dont nous pourrions les aider \u00e0 transformer ces habitudes malsaines en habitudes plus utiles. Il n&#039;est pas certain que nous y parviendrons, mais je voulais vous fournir quelques conseils et astuces \u00e0 essayer au moins.<\/p>\n<p>Nous savons tous que les enfants plac\u00e9s doivent faire face \u00e0 une situation incroyablement stressante\u2026 encore plus que le fait d\u2019\u00eatre parent d\u2019accueil (qui est \u00e9galement stressant, comme vous le savez probablement) : laisser derri\u00e8re soi tout ce que l\u2019on conna\u00eet et tous ceux que l\u2019on conna\u00eet, peut-\u00eatre laisser derri\u00e8re soi tous ses biens, vivre avec de parfaits inconnus, aller dans une nouvelle \u00e9cole, faire le trajet avec un autre inconnu pour aller et revenir de sa famille d\u2019origine, parler avec d\u2019autres visiteurs \u00e0 la maison (hebdomadairement ou mensuellement), \u00eatre s\u00e9par\u00e9 de ses fr\u00e8res et s\u0153urs\u2026 et la liste pourrait s\u2019allonger. Ce ne sont l\u00e0 que quelques-unes des choses auxquelles un enfant plac\u00e9 peut \u00eatre confront\u00e9.<\/p>\n<p>En raison de ces changements soudains dans sa vie, un enfant peut \u00eatre (c\u2019est plus que probable) en deuil, d\u00e9prim\u00e9, anxieux ou une combinaison des trois. Et m\u00eame s\u2019il traverse tant de bouleversements \u00e9motionnels, il y a souvent encore une \u00ab p\u00e9riode de lune de miel \u00bb dans la nouvelle famille d\u2019accueil. L\u2019enfant sera souvent docile, serviable, gentil, respectueux, etc. C\u2019est aussi un m\u00e9canisme de d\u00e9fense, mais il peut ne pas durer aussi longtemps que la prochaine \u00e9tape du deuil.<\/p>\n<p>Et ces sentiments, comme vous le savez peut-\u00eatre ou non, peuvent ressembler \u00e0 bien d\u2019autres choses (y compris, mais sans s\u2019y limiter, ce qui suit) :<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>d\u00e9n\u00e9gation<\/li>\n<li>incr\u00e9dulit\u00e9<\/li>\n<li>tristesse<\/li>\n<li>vide<\/li>\n<li>la solitude (surtout s&#039;ils sont non seulement \u00e9loign\u00e9s de leurs parents mais \u00e9galement s\u00e9par\u00e9s de leurs fr\u00e8res et s\u0153urs)<\/li>\n<li>culpabilit\u00e9 (ils peuvent se sentir en quelque sorte responsables m\u00eame si ce n&#039;est pas de leur faute)<\/li>\n<li>col\u00e8re<\/li>\n<li>ressentiment<\/li>\n<li>peur<\/li>\n<li>anxi\u00e9t\u00e9<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Par exemple, nous utilisons souvent l\u2019expression \u00ab la col\u00e8re peut ressembler \u00e0 de la tristesse \u00bb \u00e0 la maison. Pendant tr\u00e8s longtemps, nous n\u2019arrivions pas \u00e0 comprendre pourquoi notre enfant \u00e9tait en col\u00e8re\u2026 jusqu\u2019au jour o\u00f9 nous avons d\u00e9couvert (par accident) que sa \u00ab col\u00e8re \u00bb \u00e9tait en fait \u00ab triste \u00bb. Cela a chang\u00e9 la donne.<\/p>\n<p>Alors, pour accompagner ces sentiments de chagrin, de d\u00e9pression ou d\u2019anxi\u00e9t\u00e9, voici quelques-uns des m\u00e9canismes d\u2019adaptation malsains que vous pouvez ou non voir chez votre enfant (il y en a \u00e9videmment d\u2019autres\u2026 cette liste n\u2019est clairement pas exhaustive) :<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>commencer \u00e0 fumer ou fumer davantage,<\/li>\n<li>commencer \u00e0 boire de l&#039;alcool ou \u00e0 boire davantage,<\/li>\n<li>commencer \u00e0 prendre de la drogue ou \u00e0 en prendre davantage,<\/li>\n<li>jeu d&#039;argent,<\/li>\n<li>d\u00e9penser trop d&#039;argent,<\/li>\n<li>vol,<\/li>\n<li>automutilation,<\/li>\n<li>restreindre ou faire des crises de boulimie et de purge alimentaires,<\/li>\n<li>trop manger,<\/li>\n<li>dormir trop ou pas assez,<\/li>\n<li>et se sentir pouss\u00e9 \u00e0 ressentir une \u00ab pouss\u00e9e d\u2019adr\u00e9naline \u00bb avec des activit\u00e9s dangereuses<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Je ne suis pas une experte, mais j\u2019ai beaucoup lu sur le traumatisme et je vis avec cela chez moi depuis plus de 10 ans. Mais je recommande l\u2019intervention relationnelle bas\u00e9e sur la confiance (TBRI) pour aider un enfant \u00e0 surmonter une partie de son deuil. Si vous ne connaissez pas le TBRI, je vous sugg\u00e8re de suivre un cours intensif sur ce sujet. Certaines organisations proposent des versions abr\u00e9g\u00e9es de la formation. Vous pouvez suivre les 7 heures compl\u00e8tes de formation directement sur le site officiel si vous le souhaitez. Vous pouvez trouver des vid\u00e9os sur YouTube qui vous aideront \u00e0 mieux comprendre les principes de base. Lisez ou \u00e9coutez le livre audio \u00ab The Connected Child \u00bb de David R. Cross, Karyn B. Purvis et Wendy Lyons Sunshine. Une autre fa\u00e7on d\u2019envisager cela est d\u2019utiliser ce qu\u2019on appelle la \u00ab parentalit\u00e9 \u00e0 faible demande \u00bb (que je vais d\u2019ailleurs aborder dans mon prochain article, alors restez \u00e0 l\u2019\u00e9coute pour en savoir plus !).<\/p>\n<p>En r\u00e9sum\u00e9 : donnez la priorit\u00e9 \u00e0 la relation avec l\u2019enfant. Si l\u2019enfant a des difficult\u00e9s, ne le repoussez pas dans sa chambre\u2026 rapprochez-le de vous (pas n\u00e9cessairement physiquement, ce qui pourrait ne pas \u00eatre appropri\u00e9 pour un enfant qui a subi un traumatisme) mais restez \u00e0 proximit\u00e9 de lui\u2026 dans la m\u00eame pi\u00e8ce, sur le m\u00eame canap\u00e9, etc. Soyez en contact avec lui, plut\u00f4t que d\u2019\u00eatre attentif \u00e0 votre t\u00e9l\u00e9phone (je dis cela parce que pour beaucoup d\u2019entre nous, le t\u00e9l\u00e9phone est notre m\u00e9canisme d\u2019adaptation et si vous essayez d\u2019aider un enfant \u00e0 \u00ab se reconnecter \u00bb et \u00e0 se r\u00e9-r\u00e9guler, si vous \u00eates assis l\u00e0 mais que vous l\u2019ignorez, alors vous ne l\u2019aidez pas\u2026 et vous risquez de nuire \u00e0 la relation).<\/p>\n<p>En outre, pensez \u00e0 trouver un groupe de soutien pour votre enfant. Il se peut qu&#039;il ne soit pas pr\u00eat (du moins au d\u00e9but) \u00e0 parler \u00e0 un th\u00e9rapeute, mais il pourrait \u00eatre dispos\u00e9 \u00e0 parler \u00e0 d&#039;autres enfants dans une situation similaire. L&#039;aider \u00e0 voir et \u00e0 comprendre qu&#039;il n&#039;est pas seul dans son deuil peut \u00eatre tr\u00e8s b\u00e9n\u00e9fique.<\/p>\n<p>Je sais que je n&#039;ai fait qu&#039;effleurer la surface de ce sujet et qu&#039;il y a bien plus que je pourrais partager... mais je voulais vous donner un point de d\u00e9part \u00e0 partir duquel vous pourriez faire vos propres recherches, en fonction de ce que votre enfant vous montre dont il a besoin.<\/p>\n<p>Sinc\u00e8rement,<\/p>\n<p>Kris<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So foster care (and honestly life in general) is filled with a variety of different coping mechanisms. As a foster parent, you might find that you have some as well (and even if you don\u2019t \u201cfind\u201d that you do, chances are you have them\u2026because being a foster parent is hard and we ALL have ways [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-39568","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kriss-corner"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Kris&#039; Corner - Coping Mechanisms - Firefly Children and Family Alliance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/fr\/resources\/news-library\/kris-corner-coping-mechanisms\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kris&#039; Corner - Coping Mechanisms - Firefly Children and Family Alliance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"So foster care (and honestly life in general) is filled with a variety of different coping mechanisms. 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