{"id":9758,"date":"2021-09-15T16:46:08","date_gmt":"2021-09-15T16:46:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childrensbureau.org\/?p=9758"},"modified":"2025-02-25T12:05:34","modified_gmt":"2025-02-25T17:05:34","slug":"kris-corner-things-not-to-say-to-a-foster-parent-or-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/es\/resources\/news-library\/kris-corner-things-not-to-say-to-a-foster-parent-or-child\/","title":{"rendered":"Rinc\u00f3n de Kris \u2013 Cosas que NO se deben decir a un padre o ni\u00f1o de crianza temporal"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Como ocurre con todas las \u00e1reas de la vida, hay cosas que es apropiado decir y cosas que es inapropiado decir... y esto se aplica absolutamente cuando se habla con padres de crianza. Ahora... definitivamente estoy dispuesto a honrar a la gente porque s\u00e9 que muchas de estas cosas se dicen por ignorancia o simplemente por charlar en la fila del supermercado o todo eso; Por lo general, las personas no piensan mucho (si es que lo hacen) en sus palabras y nadie intenta lastimar a alguien intencionalmente.<\/p>\n<p>En otras ocasiones, las cosas se dicen simplemente porque las personas quieren tener una conexi\u00f3n con una familia de acogida, pero simplemente no saben qu\u00e9 decir o c\u00f3mo hacer las preguntas adecuadas.<\/p>\n<p>Y luego est\u00e1n las personas que est\u00e1n cavando en busca de tierra, y no hay nada en la conversaci\u00f3n que beneficie a la familia adoptiva; s\u00f3lo servir\u00e1 para satisfacer la curiosidad morbosa de quien hace las preguntas (\u00bfpuedes decir que esto me molesta?).<\/p>\n<p>B\u00e1sicamente, este es el consejo que les doy a aquellos de ustedes que se est\u00e9n preguntando c\u00f3mo abordar el tema:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Si est\u00e1 fuera de casa y ve a un padre y un hijo que no parecen compartir gen\u00e9tica, no haga preguntas personales.<\/li>\n<li>Si conoce a un padre y a un hijo y sabe que no comparten gen\u00e9tica, no haga preguntas personales.<\/li>\n<li>Si no le gustar\u00eda que un extra\u00f1o o incluso un conocido le hiciera preguntas similares e imponentes, no haga este tipo de preguntas a otras personas.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u00bfEst\u00e1s entendiendo lo que quiero decir aqu\u00ed? No hagas preguntas personales. No es asunto de nadie e incluso si alguien no quiere ser entrometido, a\u00fan as\u00ed podr\u00eda serlo. En mi experiencia personal, la \u00fanica raz\u00f3n por la que alguien probablemente me hace preguntas sobre mi hijo o su familia biol\u00f3gica es para satisfacer su propia curiosidad y no para mi bien o el de mi hijo. Es posible que la mayor\u00eda de la gente no se d\u00e9 cuenta de esto y es por eso que estoy aqu\u00ed con mi peque\u00f1a \u201cTed Talk\u201d sobre el tema.<\/p>\n<p>En un sentido relacionado, pero m\u00e1s importante, no s\u00f3lo no se debe preguntar a los padres de crianza sobre los detalles personales de la historia del ni\u00f1o, sino que tampoco se debe preguntar al ni\u00f1o. No es asunto de nadie y, sinceramente, hacer este tipo de preguntas puede ser un desencadenante emocional para un ni\u00f1o bajo cuidado de crianza... y estoy 100% seguro de que nadie tiene la intenci\u00f3n de provocar a nadie, especialmente a un ni\u00f1o bajo cuidado de crianza. La historia del ni\u00f1o es su historia para compartir con quien quiera, cuando quiera... no necesariamente con el conocido en la iglesia o el extra\u00f1o en la fila detr\u00e1s de \u00e9l en el supermercado. Y es comprensible que un ni\u00f1o pueda tener dificultades para explicarle eso a un adulto, por lo que el ni\u00f1o comparte m\u00e1s sobre s\u00ed mismo de lo que se siente c\u00f3modo... simplemente porque un adulto no us\u00f3 l\u00edmites apropiados.<\/p>\n<p>A estas alturas quiz\u00e1s est\u00e9s pensando: \u201c\u00bfDe qu\u00e9 diablos est\u00e1 hablando esta mujer? \u00bfQu\u00e9 tipo de cosas groseras o inapropiadas ha dicho la gente, especialmente a un ni\u00f1o? Bueno, no te preocupes... Estoy aqu\u00ed para darte algunos ejemplos, recientes de las mam\u00e1s de mi grupo de apoyo para adopci\u00f3n y cuidado de crianza. Cada una de estas cosas se las ha dicho o preguntado a una madre que conozco, y estoy seguro de que hay muchas otras cosas groseras o descuidadas que han escuchado y que han decidido no compartir o se han obligado a olvidar.<\/p>\n<p>Sin ning\u00fan orden espec\u00edfico, aqu\u00ed hay algunas (definitivamente hay m\u00e1s, as\u00ed que no considere esto como una lista completa de ninguna manera) de las cosas groseras e inapropiadas que NO se deben decir a los padres de crianza o adoptivos ni a sus hijos (y como comentario aparte). \u2026probablemente sea de mala educaci\u00f3n dec\u00edrselo a cualquiera, no s\u00f3lo a las familias de acogida):<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Su padre debe ser extranjero&quot;.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;\u00a1Guau! \u00a1Tienes las manos ocupadas!<\/p>\n<p>&quot;\u00a1Qu\u00e9 equipo tan grande!&quot; Por lo general, seguido de: &quot;Sabes qu\u00e9 causa esto, \u00bfverdad?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u00bfDe d\u00f3nde la sacaste?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u00bfHablas con su VERDADERA mam\u00e1?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&quot;\u00a1Guau! \u00a1Seguro que no se parece a nadie de la familia!<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSi nadie la quiere, seguro que la aceptaremos\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u00a1Debe haber recibido el color de su padre!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAww, tu hija es tan hermosa\u2026 \u00bfde d\u00f3nde es?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Ella es tan linda. Aseg\u00farate de que sus padres no la vean arreglada as\u00ed. La querr\u00e1n de vuelta\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;No puedo creer que sus padres no los quisieran&quot;.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Entonces, \u00bffueron drogas?&quot;<\/p>\n<p>\u201c\u00bfSon todos tuyos?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, nunca podr\u00eda hacer eso. Me apegar\u00eda demasiado\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo podr\u00eda devolv\u00e9rmelos\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>En este punto, estoy seguro de que, en virtud del hecho de que he seleccionado los comentarios para que tengan valor por s\u00ed solos, ustedes, mi astuto p\u00fablico, pueden ver por qu\u00e9 no ser\u00eda apropiado decir ninguna de esas cosas. Como siempre.<\/p>\n<p>Por supuesto\u2026 \u00bftodos hemos dicho estupideces en alg\u00fan momento? Por supuesto, y no creo que esta publicaci\u00f3n de blog elimine todos los comentarios hirientes e insensibles dirigidos a los padres de crianza o a los ni\u00f1os bajo su cuidado. Obviamente eso nunca suceder\u00e1.<\/p>\n<p>Mi objetivo es simplemente colocarlo en el fondo de la mente de las personas para que, si surge una situaci\u00f3n y se produce una conversaci\u00f3n con padres de crianza o con un ni\u00f1o de crianza, la persona que ha le\u00eddo esto al menos haga una pausa antes de decir algo que sea hiriente o desencadenante sin querer.<\/p>\n<p>Gracias por venir a mi &quot;Ted Talk&quot;.<\/p>\n<p>Atentamente,<\/p>\n<p>Kris<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As with all areas of life, there are things which are appropriate to say and things which are inappropriate to say\u2026and this absolutely applies when talking to foster parents. Now\u2026I am definitely willing to grace people out because I know that many of these things are said out of ignorance or out of just making [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9758","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kriss-corner"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Kris&#039; Corner - Things NOT to Say to a Foster Parent or Child - Firefly Children and Family Alliance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/es\/resources\/news-library\/kris-corner-things-not-to-say-to-a-foster-parent-or-child\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"es_ES\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kris&#039; Corner - Things NOT to Say to a Foster Parent or Child - Firefly Children and Family Alliance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As with all areas of life, there are things which are appropriate to say and things which are inappropriate to say\u2026and this absolutely applies when talking to foster parents. 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