\u00bfQu\u00e9 problemas tienen? (En realidad, suele ser menos amable... normalmente m\u00e1s como \u201c\u00bfQu\u00e9 les pasa?\u201d)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\nLa lista sigue y sigue.<\/p>\n
Y, sin embargo, no son preguntas que normalmente har\u00edas sobre cualquier otra persona, entonces, \u00bfpor qu\u00e9 la gente siente que es apropiado profundizar en los asuntos personales de un ni\u00f1o que acaba de experimentar el trauma de ser separado de su familia biol\u00f3gica?<\/p>\n
No es apropiado... nunca.<\/p>\n
No es aceptable... nunca.<\/p>\n
Y como padres de crianza, parte de nuestro trabajo es proteger a los ni\u00f1os, proteger su privacidad y proteger sus historias... especialmente de los o\u00eddos y labios indiscretos de personas que tienen poco o ning\u00fan inter\u00e9s en ayudar al ni\u00f1o. A menudo son simplemente chismosos o personas que ya tienen en su cabeza c\u00f3mo es cada ni\u00f1o de acogida y c\u00f3mo es cada situaci\u00f3n, por lo que s\u00f3lo buscan combustible para promover su opini\u00f3n sesgada... o quieren sentir que de alguna manera son "en el saber".<\/p>\n
O lo peor de todo es que s\u00f3lo quieren saber la suciedad de este pobre ni\u00f1o. Es asunto del ni\u00f1o y s\u00f3lo del ni\u00f1o; no es para que nadie m\u00e1s lo comparta.<\/p>\n
Ahora\u2026 si usted es un padre de crianza y ha compartido demasiado (o si conoce a un padre de crianza y le ha hecho esas preguntas)\u2026 no se desespere. Nunca es demasiado tarde para hacer las cosas bien... o al menos, mantener la boca cerrada en el futuro. Porque admito libremente que al comienzo de nuestro viaje, fui horrible protegiendo a los ni\u00f1os de esta manera.<\/p>\n
\u00bfY por qu\u00e9 es eso? La raz\u00f3n fue doble: nunca se me ocurri\u00f3 que deber\u00eda guardarme la informaci\u00f3n para m\u00ed, y tambi\u00e9n por el factor de shock. No es que estuviera tratando de sorprender a otras personas, pero yo mismo me sorprend\u00ed por lo que estaba escuchando y por lo que los ni\u00f1os hab\u00edan experimentado y no pod\u00eda callarme.<\/p>\n
Vaya\u2026 eso me da TAN verg\u00fcenza ahora, pero no sab\u00eda lo que no sab\u00eda. Pero AHORA lo s\u00e9... y es exactamente por eso que estoy compartiendo esto contigo, para que, con suerte, evites los mismos pasos en falso.<\/p>\n
Y dir\u00e9 que afortunadamente aprendimos r\u00e1pidamente que no es necesario compartir los detalles porque no eran detalles nuestros para compartir; aunque est\u00e1bamos cuidando a los ni\u00f1os, \u00e9ramos, m\u00e1s o menos, espectadores del evento. Y que las personas que hac\u00edan preguntas simplemente eran entrometidas.<\/p>\n
Entonces, ahora que potencialmente lo he condenado un poco, quiero brindarle algunas ayudas para esos momentos en los que la gente S\u00cd hace preguntas inapropiadas sobre los ni\u00f1os bajo su cuidado... porque incluso si QUIERE decir "Eso no es asunto suyo". \u201cDudo seriamente que la mayor\u00eda de nosotros lo har\u00eda, incluso si est\u00e1 en nuestro derecho hacerlo para proteger a los ni\u00f1os.<\/p>\n
En cambio, aqu\u00ed hay algunas sugerencias para considerar y guardar en su bolsillo trasero para cuando surja la oportunidad:<\/p>\n
\u00bfPor qu\u00e9 fue eliminado?<\/p>\n
Sea vago, vago, vago. Honestamente, probablemente no sepa mucho, especialmente al principio de un caso y para no mostrar a la familia biol\u00f3gica bajo una luz pobre, puede explicarlo simple y sucintamente con algo como esto: "No conocemos muchos detalles en este momento". En este punto, pero por ahora se quedar\u00e1 con nosotros y le brindaremos la mejor atenci\u00f3n posible... y cuando algo cambie con el plan actual, nuestro FCM nos lo informar\u00e1\u201d.<\/p>\n
Una respuesta como esa puede silenciar a una entrometida Nellie con bastante rapidez. Y tambi\u00e9n puede ser aplicable a preguntas como \u201c\u00bfCu\u00e1nto tiempo permanecer\u00e1?\u201d, \u201c\u00bfCu\u00e1nto tiempo lleva bajo cuidado?\u201d y \u201c\u00bfQu\u00e9 le pasa?\u201d<\/p>\n
Cuando te pregunten si lo adoptar\u00e1s (porque te lo preguntar\u00e1n), puedes dar una respuesta como esta: "No somos los \u00fanicos que estar\u00edamos involucrados en esta decisi\u00f3n... y ahora mismo el plan es la reunificaci\u00f3n, que elegimos apoyar. Pero puede quedarse todo el tiempo que necesite\u201d.<\/p>\n
Por supuesto, hay muchas preguntas que podr\u00edan surgirle; Estos son s\u00f3lo un par de ejemplos de algunos de los m\u00e1s comunes. Pero en resumen: tenga preparada una respuesta (lo mejor que pueda) que proteja al ni\u00f1o, a sus padres y su historia. Incluso vaya tan lejos como para preguntarse antes de responder: \u00bfesta respuesta se refiere m\u00e1s a c\u00f3mo ser\u00e9 percibido por m\u00ed o por el ni\u00f1o? Y si se trata de usted, es posible que sea necesario ajustar la respuesta.<\/p>\n
Lo siento si ese comentario duele un poco... pero somos nosotros los que entramos en sus historias, as\u00ed que depende de ellos con qui\u00e9n y cu\u00e1nto eligen compartir.<\/p>\n
Y para suavizar un poco el dolor de mi comentario anterior... s\u00f3lo sepa que con su esfuerzo por proteger la privacidad de los ni\u00f1os bajo su cuidado, ellos pueden experimentar una sensaci\u00f3n de seguridad en su hogar, lo que puede ayudar a su curaci\u00f3n.<\/p>\n
Atentamente,<\/p>\n
Kris<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So\u2026I follow many different people and organizations on social media, most of which address topics related to foster care and adoption. Probably no real shock there. One in particular creates memes specific to foster care. And it shared a meme the other day which read, \u201cThere are three things we don\u2019t talk about: Fight Club, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11563","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kriss-corner"],"yoast_head":"\n
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