{"id":9453,"date":"2021-07-01T18:23:10","date_gmt":"2021-07-01T18:23:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childrensbureau.org\/?p=9453"},"modified":"2025-02-25T12:05:53","modified_gmt":"2025-02-25T17:05:53","slug":"kids-from-hard-places-at-summer-camp","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/cnh\/resources\/news-library\/kids-from-hard-places-at-summer-camp\/","title":{"rendered":"Kris’ Corner-Kids From Hard Places at Summer Camp"},"content":{"rendered":"

You guys\u2026I realized that I need to pause in the middle of the series about\u00a0\u201cWhat I Wish I Knew\u201d\u00a0to share a little bit about what\u2019s been going on in our lives and encourage those of you who may be struggling with the idea of letting a kid from hard places attend a camp.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, there are clearly\u00a0all sorts of camps\u2026mornings only, evenings only, overnight\/sleepover,\u00a0day camp. I could go on\u2026but from my\u00a0own personal\u00a0experience, I\u2019ll only be talking about day camp, but there are definitely aspects which are applicable to other camps as well.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>My\u00a0youngest\u00a0son is seven.\u00a0And two years ago, before Covid, he attended\u00a0a\u00a0day camp. It was an all-day program from 9 to 4 each day for a week. Because he was going to kindergarten at the time, and the camp was designed for first through fifth grade, I asked special permission for him to just attend the morning sessions. In addition, I was there\u00a0the entire time, in the background in case he\u00a0(or the counselors)\u00a0needed me.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

During that first attempt, there was not a whole lot of\u00a0self-regulation happening\u00a0on his end.\u00a0So,\u00a0we\u2019d come home from camp, eat a quick lunch and then spend the afternoon at the pool, working out our sensory input needs, dysregulation and energy.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

This year, however, since he\u2019s going into second grade, he was able to attend the full day\u00a0of camp. And even though my mama heart was anxious\u00a0(read: nervous\u2026not that\u00a0\u201cexcited\u201d\u00a0definition of anxious)\u00a0about that, I signed him up.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And in the\u00a0interest\u00a0of full disclosure\u2026this camp takes place at our church, where my husband works.\u00a0So,\u00a0I knew that his dad would be there all day. Additionally, after I signed him up, I was asked to run the kitchen for lunches for all the campers. So, I, too, ended up being there all day.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I won\u2019t lie. In spite of the fact that BOTH of his parents (and actually one of his brothers was there too\u2026he was a camp counselor) were going to be there all day, every day, I\u00a0was probably more nervous all week than he was.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And I\u2019m going to pause here to note something:\u00a0I know that most people don\u2019t have the luxury of sending their child to a camp where three family members will be there to swoop in and help if need be\u2026but my point in telling you this is that in spite of having this available to him, it did not stop his anxiety, my anxiety or the fact that I had to advocate for him. Even though we were all there, we were intentionally trying\u00a0not\u00a0to helicopter and hover\u2026we know he (and any child with trauma) will never truly realize what\u00a0he is\u00a0capable (or not quite capable) of until\u00a0he\u2019s\u00a0given the opportunity.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Granted, he was clearly nervous on the first day.\u00a0Even on the evening prior to the first day, he was definitely escalated.\u00a0His anxiety was in full affect.\u00a0And I considered how I could possibly keep him from going to camp\u2026because I didn\u2019t want him to fail. He struggles with EXACTLY the kind of situation he was walking into and I didn\u2019t want him\u00a0to\u00a0not be successful.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But before we left the house that first morning (not going to lie\u2026on every morning), and on the way to camp,\u00a0we talked about\u00a0all the things I knew he\u2019d need to remember to survive. And, dare I dream it? Not just survive, but thrive.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So,\u00a0we talked about the\u00a0issues he struggles with, I gave him his gum\u00a0(which is his sensory go-to survival tool). And gave him a big hug and kiss, and off he went to join the group.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And as difficult as that was for me, I know it was difficult for him as well. He knew many of the teenagers who were running the camp, but not nearly as many of the campers. He didn\u2019t know the\u00a0schedule;\u00a0he didn\u2019t exactly know what was coming next.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And for a child that does not\u00a0always\u00a0self-regulate\u00a0(though we\u2019ve been working on it at home and through therapy for years), that can be daunting,\u00a0crushing, or completely debilitating.\u00a0But he was ready and willing to try it, so I owed it to him to let him try.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I won\u2019t lie\u2026the week was nowhere close to perfect. It wasn\u2019t even always great.\u00a0Trauma is always there, ready to jump out, sometimes when we least expect it, sometimes when the ride is going smoothly and we almost forget that it\u2019s there. That\u2019s\u00a0often when it will show itself.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But\u00a0for\u00a0five days in a row, from 9am\u00a0to 4pm,\u00a0my child from hard places\u00a0was flying\u00a0solo\u00a0without me.\u00a0And\u00a0overall,\u00a0in spite of the bumps along the way,\u00a0he did a fantastic job\u2026not by the world\u2019s standards, but by the sheer fact that he did it.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And by Friday\u00a0he was happy, and exhausted, and\u00a0feeling\u00a0all the things you\u00a0hope to feel after a week of<\/span>\u00a0camp<\/span>.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So how did we make this happen? In addition to all the hard emotional work we\u2019d been doing in the years leading up to this,\u00a0I will say they were a couple other things that helped us out.\u00a0Much like a child at school with an IEP might, I asked for some caveats for him; he was given permission\u00a0to have a sensory break during lunch if he wanted it. He only opted for it on the last two days, and I think it was a lifesaver for him.\u00a0He definitely could have used it the first three days as well, but we tried to let him make the decision for himself, as best he could.\u00a0So,\u00a0during his break, he was allowed to sit with someone else\u00a0(an adult)\u00a0for a little bit and have some screen time while he ate lunch.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

All that noise and excitement which you want to happen at camp can be too much for a child who has sensory processing disorder\u2026or trauma of any kind, quite frankly. So just having that break\u00a0gave him the opportunity to take a few breaths and step out of the chaos for a bit.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Also,\u00a0at this camp, there were\u00a0some teens who were a little more trauma informed\u00a0than most, and understood how to not allow him to get away with behavior but remind him of what he needed to do and then redirect him to something else.\u00a0And not send him back in\u00a0to a situation where he would not be successful and\u00a0allow him to make the same mistake over and over.\u00a0And for those who did not know how to work with trauma in this way, I took a few minutes to give them a brief run-down\u2026letting them know this works pretty much with all kids, not just ones with trauma history.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Once the leaders grasped that, it was a game changer for my son. And for the leaders as well. I\u00a0could\u00a0see on their faces a decrease in their frustration, and a sense of empathy and compassion that was not there initially.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So,\u00a0the bottom line\u00a0on camp is this\u2026know what your child is\u00a0probably\u00a0capable of, know what\u00a0tools he\u00a0needs\u00a0to help\u00a0him\u00a0succeed, and\u00a0most of all,\u00a0allow\u00a0him\u00a0the opportunity to test the waters.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I know it\u2019s super scary. I was quite honestly terrified to let him test his wings. But all the work that we\u2019ve been doing up to this point\u2026it\u00a0all came together and really showed itself in that week.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And I say all this so that you will know that even though sometimes you might feel alone, or isolated, or that people don\u2019<\/span>t\u00a0understand<\/span>\u00a0your child\u2026\u00a0It\u2019s not always that they don\u2019t want to know. They are just ignorant.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

By the way, that word\u00a0\u201cignorant\u201d\u00a0gets bad rap\u2026what I simply mean is that people don\u2019t know what they don\u2019t know.\u00a0I\u2019m certain there was a time when you didn\u2019t know about trauma or its\u00a0effects\u00a0on a brain. But now that you know, you can help educate others\u2026just as I am attempting\u00a0too\u00a0as well.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And most of all, I hope this gives you courage to allow your child with trauma to try new things!<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sincerely,<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kris<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You guys\u2026I realized that I need to pause in the middle of the series about\u00a0\u201cWhat I Wish I Knew\u201d\u00a0to share a little bit about what\u2019s been going on in our lives and encourage those of you who may be struggling with the idea of letting a kid from hard places attend a camp.\u00a0 Now, there […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9453","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kriss-corner"],"yoast_head":"\nKris' Corner-Kids From Hard Places at Summer Camp - Firefly Children and Family Alliance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/cnh\/resources\/news-library\/kids-from-hard-places-at-summer-camp\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kris' Corner-Kids From Hard Places at Summer Camp - 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