{"id":9425,"date":"2021-06-17T21:35:24","date_gmt":"2021-06-17T21:35:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childrensbureau.org\/?p=9425"},"modified":"2025-02-25T12:05:53","modified_gmt":"2025-02-25T17:05:53","slug":"kris-corner-from-the-trenches-what-i-wish-id-know-part-6","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/cnh\/resources\/news-library\/kris-corner-from-the-trenches-what-i-wish-id-know-part-6\/","title":{"rendered":"Kris’ Corner- From the Trenches: What I wish I’d know part 5"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m going to hit you with a quote from a foster parent parent right out of the gate this time: \u201cAccepting help doesn\u2019t mean that you can\u2019t do this.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

You guys\u2026I\u2019ve said this before and I will say it again. You cannot be a foster parent in a silo.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Well to be fair\u2026you can. But it\u2019s going to be a lot harder, and the chances of\u00a0doing it well\u00a0are\u00a0honestly\u00a0going to be decreased.\u00a0So how do you find your help?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve talked about care communities in the past\u00a0and\u00a0these are a huge way that\u00a0foster\u00a0families can receive help.\u00a0In case you missed that post, this is a wraparound support\u00a0of\u00a04 to 6 individuals\u00a0(or more if the foster family has many children)\u202fand can be a great, consistent source of support for a foster family.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>But not everyone has access to a Care Community. In fact, most foster parents do not\u2026so what do they do?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>I encourage foster parents to form a support system largely composed of other foster parents. Now, that said, it definitely needs to include non-foster parents as well, because who else will you recruit by slowly drawing them into your world?!?\u00a0 But in all seriousness, your support should be comprised of both.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>So where do you find these foster parents? I found mine through church and through a foster and adoptive parent support group. You don\u2019t need to know very many and then it\u2019s like the floodgates open\u2026there are SO MANY of us that it\u2019s often hard to believe you didn\u2019t always see them.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0T<\/span>hrough these connections, find your people\u2026the ones with whom you click, the ones who\u00a0\u201csing the same song\u201d, the ones who parent like you do (or how you WISH you did). And then just walk alongside them\u2026and chances are that they\u2019ll reciprocate.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>The non-foster families are going to be the friends and family already in your life who want to walk alongside and support you in this new chapter.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>So why, exactly, do we need these people and their support in our lives?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>First, you\u2019re going to have appointments\u2026many appointments, so.many.appointments. Doctor appointments and therapy appointments and court\u00a0hearings\u00a0and visits and all the things.\u00a0Plus just life overall.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0Y<\/span>ou are going to need help\u00a0getting the child here, there and everywhere\u2026especially if there is more than one child. Independent of if you work full-time, part-time, or go to school, or any combination of those things, you will need help.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Now, n<\/span>o one understands what\u00a0you\u2019re experiencing like\u00a0others in the same boat, so it\u00a0helps to\u00a0definitely have them in your corner.\u00a0But, friends and family\u00a0(who may not be in the same boat)\u00a0definitely want to help\u00a0as well. They may not always understand what\u2019s happening in your world,\u00a0but chances are they want to help. So, I encourage you to take\u00a0 advantage of their offers. Sometimes, if\u00a0you are\u00a0offered\u00a0a meal, or\u00a0a\u00a0pick up\u00a0of\u00a0groceries or something else at the store…say yes to that; always a yes!<\/span><\/p>\n

I know\u00a0what you\u2019re thinking:\u00a0sometimes it feels embarrassing, or like it looks like you can\u2019t handle it. But honestly, maybe you can\u2019t\u2026at least not on that day. Or week.\u00a0And that is OK.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Accepting\u00a0help does not mean you can\u2019t\u00a0do it. You totally can, but maybe you can do it better with a little help on the side. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Virtually anything you do can be done more easily with help\u2026why would foster care be any different?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Sincerely,<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Kris<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m going to hit you with a quote from a foster parent parent right out of the gate this time: \u201cAccepting help doesn\u2019t mean that you can\u2019t do this.\u201d\u00a0 You guys\u2026I\u2019ve said this before and I will say it again. You cannot be a foster parent in a silo.\u00a0 Well to be fair\u2026you can. But […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9425","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kriss-corner"],"yoast_head":"\nKris' Corner- From the Trenches: What I wish I'd know part 5 - Firefly Children and Family Alliance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/cnh\/resources\/news-library\/kris-corner-from-the-trenches-what-i-wish-id-know-part-6\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kris' Corner- From the Trenches: What I wish I'd know part 5 - Firefly Children and Family Alliance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I\u2019m going to hit you with a quote from a foster parent parent right out of the gate this time: \u201cAccepting help doesn\u2019t mean that you can\u2019t do this.\u201d\u00a0 You guys\u2026I\u2019ve said this before and I will say it again. 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