{"id":9335,"date":"2021-05-05T15:39:24","date_gmt":"2021-05-05T15:39:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childrensbureau.org\/?p=9335"},"modified":"2025-02-25T12:05:55","modified_gmt":"2025-02-25T17:05:55","slug":"kris-corner-navigating-mothers-day-with-biological-moms","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/cnh\/resources\/news-library\/kris-corner-navigating-mothers-day-with-biological-moms\/","title":{"rendered":"Kris’ Corner – Navigating Mother’s Day with Biological Moms"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mother\u2019s Day. It gets me every year \u2026 since our son came to live with us. I wish I could say it gets easier; but, honestly the opposite is true. I think about his birth mom more on Mother\u2019s Day than any other time.<\/p>\n

I try to put myself in her shoes and imagine what it\u2019s like for her to be without her son (and in her case, ONLY child) any day, but especially on the one day a year devoted to Moms.<\/p>\n

I recently learned that the day before Mother\u2019s Day is Birth Mother\u2019s Day. And so in the spirit of Mother\u2019s Day, and Birth Mother\u2019s Day, I just want to put out there an encouragement to celebrate a child\u2019s birth mom.<\/p>\n

Now, I know you may be thinking: \u201cWhy would I celebrate this woman who did X, Y and Z to her child?\u201d Because at the end of the day, no matter her parenting skills (or lack of them), she more than likely truly loves her child. She may not have any idea how to show that love, or have any idea how to parent\u2026but have you ever paused to consider why that might be?<\/p>\n

Even if you have thought about it, let\u2019s go down that road for just a moment: She may have just struggled to parent because she has no support. I mean like ZERO people in her life who can help her\u2026or show what healthy parenting looks like. Or, maybe she never had someone love her; so, she has no idea how to show love to someone else. What if she\u2019s low cognitive function? Or possibly she doesn\u2019t know how to get out from under an addiction or out of an abusive relationship.<\/p>\n

There are many possible reasons why she\u2019s had her child removed from her care. But regardless of the \u201cwhy\u201d, she could still be celebrated; at the very least she chose life for him and he will always have a connection to her \u2026 even if only through biology. So, if a child is with you temporarily or forever, she is still a piece of him, and always will be.<\/p>\n

To not celebrate her is to not celebrate that part of him\u2026which could be hurtful to him, both in the now and the later. More on that in another post.<\/p>\n

To prevent such a pitfall for your child, I wanted to give you a few ideas you could consider when thinking about celebrating your child\u2019s birth mom.<\/p>\n