{"id":9015,"date":"2020-12-10T20:41:00","date_gmt":"2020-12-10T20:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.childrensbureau.org\/?p=9015"},"modified":"2025-02-25T12:06:21","modified_gmt":"2025-02-25T17:06:21","slug":"kris-corner-christmas-in-foster-care","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/cnh\/resources\/news-library\/kris-corner-christmas-in-foster-care\/","title":{"rendered":"Kris&#8217; Corner &#8211; Christmas in Foster Care"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I know in a previous post I discussed navigating the holidays with biological parents. Now, I\u2019d actually like to put some thoughts down regarding the holidays in terms of the foster kids themselves.<\/p>\n<p>This year, being what it is, we might not all have the large family gatherings that we have had in the past. So, it may not be as much of an issue. However, I\u2019m going to address it as though it is a typical year.<\/p>\n<p>The holidays are difficult for many people, but especially for foster kids. They are not with their biological family. Can you even imagine how that must feel\u2026to be away from the comfort of home? As we\u2019ve discussed previously, being away from what is normal is very unsettling and upsetting, even if that normal is not healthy.<\/p>\n<p>To make matters worse, the foster children may be living with a family who doesn\u2019t know what to do in regards to the holidays. The foster family might be thinking about things such as:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Do we include the foster kids in the family pictures?<\/li>\n<li>Do we buy them the same number of gifts as our biological children?<\/li>\n<li>Do we spend the same amount on each foster child?<\/li>\n<li>Do we have to spend our own money beyond what DCS and Children\u2019s Bureau will reimburse us for?<\/li>\n<li>How does our extended family handle gift buying (and all the other \u201choliday activities\u201d)?<\/li>\n<li>Is it ok for our extended family to buy gifts for our biological children but not our foster children?<\/li>\n<li>Or can they obviously \u201cgo cheap\u201d on the foster kids \u201cbecause it doesn\u2019t matter\u2026they aren\u2019t really our kids\u201d?<\/li>\n<li>How should all these things (and more) be handled?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>As you\u2019re reading through these questions, you can probably guess what I\u2019m going to say next.\u00a0 And if you can\u2019t, you might be new to my blog.<\/p>\n<p>The kids in your care should be treated as though they are your kids. Because at least for this period of time\u2026they are your kids. They should be treated with the same love, care, compassion and respect as any child who is legally yours forever. So, if you spend a certain amount on each child, that amount should also be spent on the foster child. That might mean spending out of your own pocket for gifts (beyond what DCS and Children\u2019s Bureau reimburse) or cutting back on what you spend on your biologicals.<\/p>\n<p>I know this next thing might be super touchy but I\u2019m going to say it anyway; extended family should do the same. If they have trouble with accepting this concept, to make things equal, then maybe you, as the parents, need to tell them not to bother buying any gifts.<\/p>\n<p>Ouch. But I continue\u2026<\/p>\n<p>More that likely, your biological children will be OK without the gifts of extended family. Above all else, and more importantly, you will have salvaged the respect of and prevented the emotional damage of your foster children.<\/p>\n<p>If you have family Christmas traditions, include the foster children; even if it\u2019s difficult and it costs you money. Ask yourself, is it worth sacrificing the kid emotionally because you don\u2019t want to bother with it or you don\u2019t want to spend the money?<\/p>\n<p>I know this seems harsh. But I wouldn\u2019t be putting it out there if I had not seen it with my own eyes.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, always include them in the pictures. For this period of time, for the same reason as the presents, include them in the pictures. They are part of your family; even if it\u2019s not for forever. Can you imagine the embarrassment they would feel at the exclusion?<\/p>\n<p>They are your family and should be treated as such.<\/p>\n<p>Sincerely,<\/p>\n<p>Kris<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I know in a previous post I discussed navigating the holidays with biological parents. Now, I\u2019d actually like to put some thoughts down regarding the holidays in terms of the foster kids themselves. This year, being what it is, we might not all have the large family gatherings that we have had in the past. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9015","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kriss-corner"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Kris&#039; Corner - Christmas in Foster Care - Firefly Children and Family Alliance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fireflyin.org\/cnh\/resources\/news-library\/kris-corner-christmas-in-foster-care\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kris&#039; Corner - Christmas in Foster Care - Firefly Children and Family Alliance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I know in a previous post I discussed navigating the holidays with biological parents. 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