I completely understand why people would ask this question. Kids who come into foster care have all experienced trauma\u2026even if the trauma is primarily being removed from everyone and everything they\u2019ve ever known. That experience of removal, in and of itself, is trauma.<\/p>\n
More than likely there is additional trauma, which manifests in a variety of behaviors that are undesirable. And this can seem scary if you have other children already in your home.<\/p>\n
Now, of course, I cannot make any guarantees about how things will play out in your home\u2026every situation and every child is unique so I would not venture to guess how it would go.<\/p>\n
It will not be without some challenges\u2026I can at least tell you that. Regardless of how mature your children are, regardless of how many books or blogs or articles you have read, regardless of how young the children are who come into your home\u2026it will be a challenge.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t say this to frighten but simply to educate: you don\u2019t know what you don\u2019t know, and you won\u2019t know until you walk through the experience. So obviously I can\u2019t tell you what your experience will be\u2026even if I wanted to.<\/p>\n
So, clearly I didn\u2019t know how my biological boys would be affected by being a foster family; the only way to find out was to jump in. My oldest (who was 12 when we took our first placement) is now a sophomore in college. He is majoring in community development with plans to go overseas to help vulnerable and trafficked children\u2026and I just don\u2019t know that this would have been on his radar without being part of a foster family and experiencing what it\u2019s like to work with children from hard places.<\/p>\n
Our middle son was 11 at the time of our first placement and I have witnessed an amazing growth in his ability to tolerate and engage well with younger children. This isn\u2019t just a mom bragging but he\u2019s really great with kids and they seem to enjoy hanging out with him, especially if sports are involved.<\/p>\n
These aren\u2019t the only changes we\u2019ve witnessed; there are also the ways we\u2019ve all been stretched and challenged (and ultimately grown) because of our experiences as a foster family. It\u2019s not always been easy, but growth sometimes is that way.<\/p>\n
Through our stint in foster care, my husband and I have learned how to parent differently\u2026and honestly in a way we wish we\u2019d known about with our older children. It is a much more patient approach, and very much in-tune with the individual child and his needs. Our older boys, though they do give us a hard time about the fact that we parent differently now, do understand the shift and I believe that what they witness will rub off for them to use when they are parents of their own children.<\/p>\n
I believe the experience has also made my older children more independent\u2026mostly because our youngest does take a fair bit of time and attention. They have had to step up and do more around the house as well\u2026which is not all bad. They know how to cook and clean and cover the basics of caring for a household; had we not been a foster family, I will admit that I would probably have continued to do much of this and I know it would have been to their detriment. I\u2019m sure their future wives will thank me for this as well.<\/p>\n
I could honestly go on and on about all the ways my children have been affected\u2026but this is only my story. You won\u2019t know the impact foster care might have on your own family until you dive in for yourself.<\/p>\n
\n
Sincerely,<\/p>\n
Kris<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I completely understand why people would ask this question. Kids who come into foster care have all experienced trauma\u2026even if the trauma is primarily being removed from everyone and everything they\u2019ve ever known. That experience of removal, in and of itself, is trauma. More than likely there is additional trauma, which manifests in a variety […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":8757,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8756","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kriss-corner"],"yoast_head":"\n