So I don\u2019t necessarily have anything deep to share today, just something that\u2019s been rolling around in my head for quite a while since we started our foster care journey\u2026and definitely since we adopted our son. So here it is: why is it that so many movies and books and TV shows seem to thrive on the idea of an orphan as a main character\/hero\/overcomer?<\/p>\n
And this is not simply in media for adults\u2026many intended for children utilize a child who is either an orphan or has been abandoned by at least one parent.<\/p>\n
Please do be confused and do not hear what I\u2019m not saying. I\u2019m NOT saying kids can\u2019t thrive as orphans or with one parent out of the picture.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m just saying that the media seems to really push that storyline. And my question to them is WHY?!? What is so appealing about an orphan hero?<\/p>\n
And my problem is not that I don\u2019t love a good overcoming odds story, as many of us do\u2026that\u2019s honestly probably the reason for the popularity.<\/p>\n
And when I Google it, here\u2019s the AI response I received (and honestly I think it is spot-on): \u201cIsolated from a traditional, nurturing family environment an orphan is\u00a0a manifestation of loneliness and vulnerability. These circumstances are prone to triggering a strong, sympathetic reaction in the reader, drawing them into the character’s journey.\u201d<\/p>\n
And while that may (probably) is true, my real issue with the orphan hero is that it can be triggering to such a large number of people (kids in foster care being some of them!); this does not mean it always is but it CAN be.<\/p>\n
Obviously this is not an all-encompassing list, but here are a few examples to get you thinking about what your kids are watching or reading:<\/p>\n
Superman<\/p>\n
Batman<\/p>\n
Spiderman<\/p>\n
Nemo<\/p>\n
Harry Potter<\/p>\n
Annie<\/p>\n
Lilo and Stitch<\/p>\n
Frozen<\/p>\n
Bambi<\/p>\n
Dumbo<\/p>\n
Despicable Me<\/p>\n
Jungle Book<\/p>\n
Cinderella<\/p>\n
Star Wars<\/p>\n
The Lion King<\/p>\n
And many, many more\u2026<\/p>\n
For me personally, I never know what\u2019s going to trigger my son. And maybe the same is true for you and your child; if you have more than one foster\/adopted child, the triggers probably vary from child to child.<\/p>\n
My son knows that he was a functional orphan; he doesn\u2019t know that term, but he knows that he didn\u2019t have permanency. He didn\u2019t have biological parents who could care for him. He knows he was removed from them. He knows that one of the two parents didn\u2019t even care about reunifying with him. He knows that he cannot return to them, but can visit as biomom is able.<\/p>\n
Clearly there\u2019s a lot just in his story that could easily be triggered by a movie that we\u2019re watching together as a family.\u00a0 And I find myself cringing, often, when the issue comes up in something we are watching or reading.<\/p>\n
Now, I do realize that sometimes it seems to gloss right over him, but I also know that doesn\u2019t mean he\u2019s not thinking about it. He\u2019s not dense. He can put pieces together and figure out a meaning behind a comment, and I do believe he\u2019s understanding and thinking more about these things than he lets on.<\/p>\n
But while we\u2019re at it, let me briefly get on my soapbox: can we put a stop to all jokes about people being adopted? Like one sibling, saying to another, as an attempt to tease, that they are adopted? It\u2019s not funny in any situation, but especially if there are adoptees nearby.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not funny in real life and it\u2019s not funny in media either.<\/p>\n
End of rant.<\/p>\n
So what I\u2019m really saying is that I seriously doubt that the media is going to put a stop to utilizing the orphan hero storyline because it\u2019s made them billions and billions of dollars; so what that means is that it is up to us as parents of \u201corphans\u201d to do our homework. My encouragement is to always be aware and to check out shows and movies AHEAD of time to know what triggers MIGHT come up.<\/p>\n
And if you can\u2019t be preemptive (and I know that I am not always either), I encourage you to always be prepared for any and all fallout. Adoption and foster care themes are predominant in our media and there\u2019s really no way around it. But as foster and adoptive parents, we can do our best to cushion the blows and to help our kids see that the story they\u2019re watching on TV is a story, but it\u2019s not their story\u2026however, our children CAN be heroes and overcomers as well.<\/p>\n
Sincerely,<\/p>\n
Kris<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So I don\u2019t necessarily have anything deep to share today, just something that\u2019s been rolling around in my head for quite a while since we started our foster care journey\u2026and definitely since we adopted our son. So here it is: why is it that so many movies and books and TV shows seem to thrive […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-87149","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kriss-corner"],"yoast_head":"\n