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I don\u2019t know about you, but I love a good \u201cunderdog\u201d story. You know what I\u2019m talking about, right? We\u2019ve all seen them (or have probably at least heard of them): \u201cRocky\u201d, \u201cHoosiers\u201d, and \u201cThe Hunger Games\u201d to name a few.<\/p>\n
Why, then, do we fail to cheer for the underdogs when it comes to foster care? The biological parents are frequently the underdogs of each foster care story. They are the ones who face much adversity, often (though not always) experiencing addictions, abuse, neglect, homelessness, mental illness, etc.<\/p>\n
Why do we feel it\u2019s acceptable to think things such as \u201cthey are the worst people in the world and if they\u2019ve had their child removed, they should never get him back. Period.\u201d\u00a0 I realize this sounds harsh, but I\u2019ve personally heard more than one person say something similar\u2026and even worse than this.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Well, foster care doesn\u2019t work that way, and although I was not a fan when I began my foster care journey, over time I was able to be thankful for the process.<\/p>\n
When our son first came to live with us, I heard about the biological parents from the DCS case worker. Not her opinion on them, but simply the basic info I needed in order to care for this sweet, 3-month-old boy with high-medical needs. And since I didn\u2019t know much about the biological parents, I basically filled in the blanks and came to my own conclusions about them. Yes\u2026fair or unfair (spoiler: I\u2019ll go ahead and tell you that it was completely unfair), that\u2019s what I did.<\/p>\n
But, at the second court hearing, the judge ruled that if the parents wanted to regain custody of their son, they would have to attend all of his doctor appointments. And I am here to tell you there were a lot of said appointments for that sweet boy (not all kids, not even most kids have lots of medical appointments\u2026but for him, there were many).<\/p>\n
I hadn\u2019t really met the parents prior to that, so honestly I was terrified. I had heard stories about how the biological parents are oftentimes angry at the foster parents because they view them as the ones who took their child (which is clearly not the case, but understandably they wanted someone to blame). And I was not itching for a fight. Quite the opposite, in fact.<\/p>\n
But the initial appointment, though awkward, was not nearly as horrific as I thought it might be. And then the subsequent appointments got easier. Never easy<\/em>\u2026I won\u2019t lie. But easier and much less cumbersome than you might imagine. I personally believe that a big part of it was that through all my time spent with the biomom, I came to realize that she was just a person too. She loved her son, just as I loved him, even though she could not care for him.<\/p>\n She was not the evil monster I had created in my mind. She had done the best she knew how to do for him. And honestly, that\u2019s all that any of us can do\u2026it\u2019s just that some of us have more opportunities to understand what children need, as well as the resources, options, and support to give.<\/p>\n So when a child is reunified with biological parents, and it is good and healthy and loving, it is absolutely the thing we should be cheering for.<\/p>\n Sincerely,<\/p>\n Kris<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I don\u2019t know about you, but I love a good \u201cunderdog\u201d story. You know what I\u2019m talking about, right? We\u2019ve all seen them (or have probably at least heard of them): \u201cRocky\u201d, \u201cHoosiers\u201d, and \u201cThe Hunger Games\u201d to name a few. Why, then, do we fail to cheer for the underdogs when it comes to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8245","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kriss-corner"],"yoast_head":"\n