So this post might be a little shorter than normal\u2026 for two reasons: it\u2019s the holidays and people are busy and probably not very many of you if you want to sit down and read a long blog post.<\/p>\n
And secondly, what I have to suggest is fairly simple and straightforward.<\/p>\n
Now I know that, for some of you, you have little to no contact at all with biological family. And I completely understand that. There is nothing that you can, or can\u2019t do. It\u2019s all in their lap. But for those of you who do have contact, or at least have a Firefly case worker or DCS case worker or a visit supervisor who is willing and able to share messages or items between the two of you, this is for you.<\/p>\n
So what I want to talk about (briefly) today is making connections with biological family during the holidays\u2026when it is safe and healthy for the child.<\/p>\n
Now I\u2019m sure that you have all heard about the idea of saving a craft or two that your child makes in school to give to the biological family, especially at holidays and such. And that is a great idea. The pictures, copies of letters to Santa, all those handprint crafts, etc.<\/p>\n
But something I just read recently talked about the memories that certain foods evoke. My family and I personally have a lot of memories that are tied to food and holidays so it makes sense that others would have that same kind of core memories. For me, the Fourth of July goes hand-in-hand with homemade vanilla ice cream; homemade Turtle candies always scream Christmas; and Thanksgiving and mincemeat cookies just can\u2019t be separated. Now per that last example\u2026I\u2019m not saying I LIKE mincemeat cookies, but my grandma always made them for Thanksgiving so I equate the two together.<\/p>\n
So here\u2019s why I\u2019m telling you what might seem like superfluous information about myself: What I read was pointing out that quite possibly part of the grief that biological families and the kids feel around the holidays is that they aren\u2019t celebrating as they have in years past\u2026and certain food dishes are sometimes tied to that.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know about you but comfort food is pretty important to me. Not that I have ever chosen which family events to attend based on which one will have the better comfort food, but it has been batted around in discussions.<\/p>\n
So that said, what would it look like if foster parents asked a child\u2019s biological family for one (or more recipes) that they (the parents or grandparents) either enjoyed as kids themselves, or something they always made for their children who are now in care. (And then if they ask for it, the foster parents can give them a recipe that their child is enjoying this season).<\/p>\n
And how meaningful would it potentially be to a birth parent to know that not only are they enjoying the apple pie they love to have during the holiday season, but their children are too\u2026but only because the foster parents took the time to ask.<\/p>\n
And on the flip side: their children are also enjoying chocolate chip oatmeal cookies and they are as well, because the foster family shared their recipe with them.<\/p>\n
So in an effort to test this out before I suggested it to all of you\u2026I personally did this myself just this past week. Now, I didn\u2019t get an actual recipe, as I was hoping, but also was not terribly surprised (which is NOT a criticism of her, but I tell you to make the point that you don\u2019t actually have to have a recipe to make this connection happen). Even though I didn\u2019t get a recipe, my son\u2019s birth mom could tell me what it was that they always eat during the holidays. It\u2019s cherry cheesecake, bought from the grocery store.<\/p>\n
Now if you know me at all, you know I like fruit and I like dessert but I do not like fruit in my dessert so honestly, the idea of a cherry cheesecake makes my stomach turn a little bit.<\/p>\n
But kidding aside, I do understand that this is not about me; this is about my child and his birth family. And even though he has never had cherry cheesecake (with his birth mother or otherwise), knowing that it\u2019s some thing she enjoys at Christmas might help make that connection between the two of them.<\/p>\n
The other things she mentioned I probably actually will make: meatballs with barbecue and jelly in the crockpot, and peanut butter cookies. Those are totally doable, and I\u2019m 100% certain my child would like them. He might like the cheesecake too, but I\u2019m not certain at this point we need to do all three\u2026he was removed as an infant and never ate any of these with her, so he wouldn\u2019t have those \u201cfood memories\u201d.<\/p>\n
And again\u2026since I do not have recipes for any of them, I\u2019m going to use Pinterest and hope I get a close approximation. The recipe isn\u2019t really the point\u2026it\u2019s the idea of it, and what the effort does for the relationship.<\/p>\n
Either way, I just wanted to put that out there as food for thought, pun intended, that some sort of recipe (or at least a favorite holiday food list) swap might be a way to help make a connection between your family and your child\u2019s family of origin, as well as between you and your foster child; at the very least, you might give it a whirl and see what happens.<\/p>\n
Sincerely,<\/p>\n
Kris<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So this post might be a little shorter than normal\u2026 for two reasons: it\u2019s the holidays and people are busy and probably not very many of you if you want to sit down and read a long blog post. And secondly, what I have to suggest is fairly simple and straightforward. Now I know that, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23756","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kriss-corner"],"yoast_head":"\n