Moving along in our work through rituals in our homes, we come next to After School Rituals.<\/p>\n
Now, I know this will differ for many of you from case to case. Some foster parents work outside the home full-time, some work part-time and some stay at home full-time (BTW I understand that each one of these is a full time job and then some!). Some foster parents are single and some are not. Point being: work and family dynamics will be different from home to home, and I know application of this one especially might vary widely\u2026so as I give you some generalizations, please know it\u2019s simply fodder for consideration and a prompt to consider how things are done in YOUR own home. Also know that NO ONE is probably doing all of these rituals and so if there\u2019s a ritual time slot which I discuss and you aren\u2019t able to do it, it is in no way a reflection on your amazing parenting!<\/p>\n
I\u2019m just here to encourage!<\/p>\n
All that said\u2026for those who are home to welcome a child in after a day at school, I just want to give a little word to consider. After school rituals don\u2019t have to be anything big or elaborate\u2026it could be as easy as sitting together and having a snack. And who doesn\u2019t love a snack?!?<\/p>\n
It gives opportunity for a child to share about their day (if they\u2019re inclined) or you to at least ask questions beyond \u201cHow was your day?\u201d Or \u201cWhat did you learn today?\u201d. And if that doesn\u2019t ever seem to warm them up, maybe, if it speaks to the child, doing more of the read aloud if that\u2019s something you did in the morning. Or simply doing the read aloud now instead of trying to do it in the morning. Maybe playing a game or working a puzzle.<\/p>\n
And then, after a snack and re-hydration, another ritual could be sending a child outside to ride their bike or jump on the trampoline for a few minutes. I know this might seem strange, but I once knew a mama who had a stack of firewood which her child would move every day after school\u2026one day he\u2019d move it to the right side of the yard and stack it. The next day he\u2019d move it to the left. It wasn\u2019t about location of the firewood\u2026it was about giving him a heavy-work task to help settle and focus him\u2026to work out any proprioceptive things he needed to address after a day of sitting in the classroom.<\/p>\n
And even though the process of moving firewood may seem odd to most of you (it definitely does to me!), it worked for their family and helped him be successful in the evenings. It was their ritual!<\/p>\n
One brief aside about that: For the most part, every child coming home is going to have some homework most nights. Even in kindergarten! So after sitting in the classroom all day, more often than not, kids from hard places need to have some free time, some vitamin D, if possible, and a chance to work out those muscles. They\u2019ve been holding in a lot of stress and tension all day.<\/p>\n
Sometimes that\u2019s their focus during the day: simply have enough self-control to survive the day in the classroom\u2026learning is sometimes secondary. And if someone finds a method which helps their child, I, for one, say go for it! If moving firewood is what works for them, I am not here to judge that!<\/p>\n
But that\u2019s not what I\u2019m trying to talk about.<\/p>\n
My point is to allow kids some downtime and a chance to reconnect with you before they start on the homework. A snack with some protein is always a good idea as well. Then some time to work out that energy.<\/p>\n
And THEN comes the homework\u2026which is, quite honestly, another opportunity for a ritual. What does homework look like for your child? Are they wanting to be close to you? If you work from home, do you have an area in your office where you could allow the child to set up shop and have close proximity to you? It may not even be that they need your help; they just want to be near you.<\/p>\n
Or if the child is older and wants to work alone, do they have adequate space in their room? Or maybe in the family area where they are out in the open and yet still close to people\u2026but also maybe not feeling like they\u2019re constantly under a watchful eye?<\/p>\n
Again\u2026these are just suggestions for opportunities for connection and healing for the kids in your home. Every family functions differently, but yet every child (and honestly every parent too) needs to have the chance to connect with others\u2026in a healthy and nurturing way.<\/p>\n
Sincerely,<\/p>\n
Kris<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Moving along in our work through rituals in our homes, we come next to After School Rituals. Now, I know this will differ for many of you from case to case. Some foster parents work outside the home full-time, some work part-time and some stay at home full-time (BTW I understand that each one of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15391","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"yoast_head":"\n